^ Having been in a million bands over the years (as seemingly half the PRF has as well) I've determined vibes over talent and sensibilities are more important than genre. I played drums in a country rock band for a few years and it was amazing because dude could write a song and loved arranging things in interesting ways. At this point I'd take a ride with a badass synthpop, latin, folk, industrial, polka or jazz band if the brains behind the outfit were into doing cool shit with it. Also, and more importantly, if they're a good hang.

I've been in like 4 bands that actually recorded/released/played shows, and maybe just as many projects that never got our act together enough to get beyond the jam phase.

Current band has been going for about 5 years in a couple of different incarnations. We're all in our 40s and have families, so we're averaging a weekly practice and maybe 4 or 5 shows per year. I'd be content to have it be a recording-only project, as I have no interest in playing shows anymore and don't give a shit about any "scene." My bandmates feel differently, and seem to be really intent on networking and getting people out to our shows. I don't care if anybody ever hears us, as that's not why I do this. That's been pretty much the only source of tension. We had one guitarist early on that left the band for some health reasons and because he didn't really like the direction the band was going musically (i.e. heavier). We recruited a lead guitarist that was also really into the writing and recording aspect, but he was a bit younger and in a different place in his life and career, to the point where he wasn't able to focus on the band in the way that he thought he should, so he bowed out last year. It's down to a trio now.
I'm perfectly fine being the tech guy in the band; fixing amps, doing all of the recording and engineering. Writing and recording are what I enjoy most. The other guys handle all of the other stuff. I personally don't really have a social media presence anymore, so they do all of the online promotion and booking.

Shananiganz wrote: Fri Mar 28, 2025 6:06 pm I've been kicking myself lately for not trying harder - not to making it big, but just... Being something. We had a great band with great songs and nobody cared.

I never had the right combination of creativity and confidence to write something even sort of unique, so, for me, the best I could do to “be something” would have been to try to be a band like the BoDeans.

And that’s when I realized I needed to stop trying.

I am so envious of so many of the bands represented here who have the gift to make something interesting. It’s something I feel I am good at recognizing but have trouble doing myself.

losthighway wrote: Fri Mar 28, 2025 6:55 pm ^ Having been in a million bands over the years (as seemingly half the PRF has as well) I've determined vibes over talent and sensibilities are more important than genre. I played drums in a country rock band for a few years and it was amazing because dude could write a song and loved arranging things in interesting ways. At this point I'd take a ride with a badass synthpop, latin, folk, industrial, polka or jazz band if the brains behind the outfit were into doing cool shit with it. Also, and more importantly, if they're a good hang.

Yeah, being a good hang is the most important thing. My wife played in a band where the song writer turned out to be a far right nutjob, so no amount of talent could fix that.

jfv wrote:

Shananiganz wrote: Fri Mar 28, 2025 6:06 pm I've been kicking myself lately for not trying harder - not to making it big, but just... Being something. We had a great band with great songs and nobody cared.

I never had the right combination of creativity and confidence to write something even sort of unique, so, for me, the best I could do to “be something” would have been to try to be a band like the BoDeans.

And that’s when I realized I needed to stop trying.

I am so envious of so many of the bands represented here who have the gift to make something interesting. It’s something I feel I am good at recognizing but have trouble doing myself.

I'm not a prolific song writer either. I excel in bass parts and arrangements. I will do the nut and bolts part of being in a band in order to get shit done.

What do you try to get out of playing music? Like, how do you view the creative process? Or is it interchangeable with playing badminton?

I view it as extension to child's play. It's world building and roleplaying. Of course with adult edge, mulling over adult stuff or something.

Shananiganz wrote: Fri Mar 28, 2025 6:06 pm. We came from a place where if you're not belittling yourself you are considered a diva and a prick, so we didn't try. We all could've toured more, play more and not belittle our music. We poured so much effort into it, practicing 8 hours a day, multiple times a week.

This was totally a thing in my scene and it perhaps limited where I got with “success” but more importantly I likely didn’t personally look on my accomplishments with the pride I should have. It’s honestly incredible that kids in their 20s can write and produce their own music, print up media and merch and tour the country with zero industry help. And that was the norm for every band I was in or was friends with.

I enjoy playing in bands and do it whenever I can.

The heirarchy of what I enjoy about being in a band:

1. Band practice. Jamming, prepared songs, whatever. It's the best part about being in bands.

2. Talking about and then eating food with bandmates.

3. Recording music. A constant give-and-take, absolutely crucial collaboration necessary, you HAVE to listen to each other, all of that. I genuinely enjoy that, even when my own wants/needs get shoved to the back of the line in lieu of something that was either arrived at by consensus, or goddamnit, you were right, that part does fit.

4. Talking shit.

5. Playing shows would be the very last thing I like about being in bands. I get why Steely Dan quit doing it after they got rich.

Shananiganz wrote: Sat Mar 29, 2025 4:11 am
I'm not a prolific song writer either. I excel in bass parts and arrangements. I will do the nut and bolts part of being in a band in order to get shit done.

In any practical sense, this is also songwriting.

Isaac wrote: Sat Mar 29, 2025 8:02 am
1. Band practice. Jamming, prepared songs, whatever. It's the best part about being in bands.

I've always wondered how the mega-famous bands handle this part. Does U2 or the Stones still get together and jam, or is just a scheduled 2-day blow-the-cobwebs-off practice sesh right before they head out on tour?

Nate Dort wrote: Sat Mar 29, 2025 8:55 am

Isaac wrote: Sat Mar 29, 2025 8:02 am
1. Band practice. Jamming, prepared songs, whatever. It's the best part about being in bands.

I've always wondered how the mega-famous bands handle this part. Does U2 or the Stones still get together and jam, or is just a scheduled 2-day blow-the-cobwebs-off practice sesh right before they head out on tour?

Thought about that when the Oasis thing got announced. The fuck is THAT scene gonna be like?
I would bet most of the time it's just 'rehearsals' before tours or when they're writing for a new thing. Seems awful to me! I don't get to jam nearly as much as I would like (every bandmate has a pretty heavy day job trip or other responsibilities), and I can't imagine it not being there at all.

Shananiganz wrote: Sat Mar 29, 2025 4:11 am What do you try to get out of playing music? Like, how do you view the creative process? Or is it interchangeable with playing badminton?

17-year-old me wanted to be in a band and even more so wanted to make ALBUMS. Like I would make imaginary album jackets with song titles and liner notes.

But albums require songs.

Songs require music and lyrics (though plenty of others have done so, I never considered just being in an instrumental band).

While I lamented previously about not feeling like I could write unique or interesting music/instrument parts, that wasn't really the hard part. It was the lyrics.

Fucking lyrics.

I had a real problem with them. Even when I was at my most prolific songwriting-wise, 98% of the lyrics I wrote ended up getting thrown out, usually including the music that went along with them. And I'm still not all that happy with the 2% that made it through.

I got tired of dealing with my stupid self after 8-10 years and just stopped trying to write.

I still had fun playing music in front of friends and family, though, and didn't have all that much trouble transcribing/learning other peoples' songs, which is one of the main reasons we morphed into a covers band.

Anyway, years later, I've lost a lot of the desire for this. It's much easier to enjoy the process vicariously through others that are better at it than me.