WARNING! JACKO JOKE IMMINENT!

With the trial finally over, Michael Jackson can finally relax and let his face down. This weekend he's been invited to join the Beckhams in a jaunt around the Mediterranean in their luxury yacht. Apparently, he said he'd love to 'come on their little Cruz'.

my very favorite joke of all time

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?





The Holocaust

my very favorite joke of all time

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?





The Holocaust

A classic. I heard that one from an Israeli. Those dudes have good jokes. But you gotta stretch it a bit:

q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
a: Finding two worms in your apple.
q: What's worse than finding two worms in your apple?
a: Duh. The holocaust.

It combines the holocaust joke and this one:

q: What is heavier than a locomotive?
a: Two locomotives.

why did the mexican poison his wife?

tequila.

A women runs down the street screaming and attracts the attention of a policeman.

"Help, Help! I've been graped." she cries.

"Surely madam, you mean you were raped?" says the policeman.

She replies, "No, there was a bunch of them."






Sorry about that, I couldn't help it.

Why did the militant lesbian cross the road?




That's not funny.

A man walks into a greengrocer's and says, I want five pounds of potatoes please. And the greengrocer says, we only sell kilos. So the man says, alright then, I'll have five pounds of kilos.

Do you have Paddy and Murphy jokes in America? Basically just any jokes about the Irish tend to feature the two characters Paddy and Murphy.



Paddy was walking past Murphys house one day and saw a sign outside saying "BOAT FOR SALE". He went and knocked on the door.

Paddy: Whats with the sign? You don't have a boat, you have a cortina and a tractor.

Murphy: I know, and they're boat for sale.

Just reading back over this thread.

We really got on here.

I might just stay here.

Guy walks into a bar carrying a frog.

Bartender: You can't have frogs in here.
Guy: Yeah, but, this frog is different. This is a pussy-eating frog.
Bartender: Alright, he can stay. (Calls waitress over) This guy says this is a pussy-eating frog, do you want to try it out?
Waitress: Sure! (takes frog to back room)

Half an hour passes.

Bartender: Mister, the waitress has been back there with your frog for a half hour, you better go check on them.

Guy goes to back room and find waitress on the floor, pants down, legs spread, with the frog sitting near her crotch.

Waitress: Mister, I've been sitting here for over half an hour and this frog has done nothing in the way of pussy-eating.

Guy is annoyed, picks up frog.

Guy: (to frog) Alright, I'll show you one more time.