"BUSH IS A NAZI"

some three months later, "bush" was scratched out, now modified to:

"HITLER IS A NAZI"

when i was ten years old, i was travelling with my parents to the Black Hills, SD. round about the twin cities, i had to use the bathroom, so we stopped at the Mall of America, and the first place we found that would let me (a non-customer) use the bathroom was a Hooters.

i entered the bathroom, took my seat, and closed the door. there on the door, i found the following poem which i, for whatever reason, have always remembered. it went:

those who write on bathroom walls
poop their turds in little balls
those who read these tales of wit
eat those balls of shit

"WITH ALL THE BEATIFUL WOMEN IN THE WORLD, HOW COULD ANYONE LIKE MEN?"

"Cos they're gay, dipshit."

This has always stuck with me as it seemed it spoke to me the night I read it:

"No matter how good lookin' she is, there's some guy out there who's sick of puttin' up with her shit!"

ginandtacos.com wrote:another patron drew an arrow and replied...

i believe you got snookered there.

itchy wrote:"FREE MUMIA!!"
"really? where can I get some?"

hmmm.... i can't tell for sure.

"READ CHOMSKY"

and underneath is written:

"EAT BUMSKY"

"WITH ALL THE BEATIFUL WOMEN IN THE WORLD, HOW COULD ANYONE LIKE MEN?"

"Cos they're gay, dipshit."

these 2 are actual dialogues.

one that simply said "EAT ASS"

Some bar by North and Halsted:
"Shoot low, they're riding Shetlands"


Lounge Ax, Chicago, IL:
"I love Lisa Simpson"

response:
"Go home Homer, your drunk."


Ego's, Austin, TX:
Men's room ceiling "Short People Suck"


Casino el Camnio, Austin, TX:
"Pussy Booger"


Louie's Bar in Dallas, TX:
"I love New York"

"Then Take I-35 north asshole"

"I-35 north doesn't go to New York hayseed!"

"Buy a truck yankee, it'll get you there."

"Fuck you!"

"If a person took at shit on the sidewalk in New York, someone would spray paint their name on it before it got cleaned up."


Ladies room bar in New Orleans, LA:
"Matthew Taylor tickle my nipples with your dreadlocks."

Never lived there and yes, I had dreadlocks in the mid 80s.

huzzah.

Blackbird (RIP) (Chicago, Il)

"Jesus Saves"

"Passes to Jagr. . . Jagr to Lemieux . . . Lemieux shoots . . . HE SCORES!!"

Well, this wasn't a bar. Does it still count? In a truck stop restroom I saw an awesome bit of graffiti. More like a classified ad. It was something like this:

some lonely truckstop troll wrote:Love to suck cock all kinds colors here most days after nine call (phone number) lv msg tell me where you parked I am clean no HIV good head buddies ok PLEASE TAKE SHOWER OR WASH IT

I was particularly intrigued by his all-caps concern for cleanliness, given that he doesn't seem too selective otherwise. Must have been some rather awkward moments earlier in his "career." Also, given the lack of brevity in his advertisement, the use of the text shorthand "lv msg" was charming.

"No wonder I threw-up... my stomach was full of puke"

-Lounge Ax (RIP)