I fucked a chicken sandwich at some fancy cafe where I worked.

My buddy stuck a demitasse spoon in his ass, but his balls in a demitasse cup and served the whole package to some cunt of a French lady. Same cafe.

It's nice to have you back Major.

MajorEverettMiller wrote:I fucked a chicken sandwich at some fancy cafe where I worked.

And I thought I loved food.

my favourite chinese take-aways are mostly in manhattan or london but there is a damn good one literally two minutes walk away from my house.

i am the only caucasian person that eats there, though i have invited many of my friends there. i think that's the secret. look inside, if you see only asian people go inside.

this will work especially well in er....asia.

when eating food nothing beats a fork. unless it's soup or cereal. then nothing beats a spoon.

what about the spork?

i've found that the best use for a spork is to gouge eyeballs.

try it. i think you'll be surprised.

BadComrade wrote:While using a spork to attack the eyes is a decent method... the best thing to do is to place your open mouth over the person's eye, form a good seal with your lips (licking them helps!), and suck the eyeball out of the socket.

No man can take the pain of having his eyeball sucked out... trust me.

That's really only the buildup. You only unleash true hell upon someone when you bite through the optic nerve.