Horrible...



Hilariously Horrible

Mazec wrote:What's four feet tall, black and blue all over, and sucks by dick?

That must be a neat party trick.

this is better when done to someone, not written:

me: have you heard the one about the gestapo?





you: no








me: LIAR! (give 'em a slap as you say this)

fantasmatical thorr wrote:me: LIAR! (give 'em a slap as you say this)

I've tried this on some people since you told it me; goes down better than kids/racism (Me: "Sexy children!" Them: "You do realise I'm a foster carer?"). I find that it works particularly well, if you're in a group, if you bring your fist down hard on a table full of glassware or crockery, or just cans of Double Dutch, standing up as you do so.

A little advice there, as you all plan your weekends.

daniel robert chapman wrote:

fantasmatical thorr wrote:me: LIAR! (give 'em a slap as you say this)

I've tried this on some people since you told it me; goes down better than kids/racism (Me: "Sexy children!" Them: "You do realise I'm a foster carer?"). I find that it works particularly well, if you're in a group, if you bring your fist down hard on a table full of glassware or crockery, or just cans of Double Dutch, standing up as you do so.

A little advice there, as you all plan your weekends.

this is good advice too, as they are less likely to retaliate..

by the way, i didn't tell him the racist one. i am strictly perverse.

daniel robert chapman wrote:

fantasmatical thorr wrote:me: LIAR! (give 'em a slap as you say this)

I've tried this on some people since you told it me; goes down better than kids/racism (Me: "Sexy children!" Them: "You do realise I'm a foster carer?"). I find that it works particularly well, if you're in a group, if you bring your fist down hard on a table full of glassware or crockery, or just cans of Double Dutch, standing up as you do so.

A little advice there, as you all plan your weekends.

Oh, bravo on this! And those around me thank you in advance for the alternative to slapping.

Now can you tell me what Double Dutch is?
Oh, and I cooked a recipe from BBC last night that called for "3 knobs of butter". How much is a "knob"?

Thank you.

itchy mcgoo wrote:Oh, and I cooked a recipe from BBC last night that called for "3 knobs of butter". How much is a "knob"?

1 penis-worth or 2 fanny-fulls.

itchy mcgoo wrote: How much is a "knob"?

About 8 inches.

itchy mcgoo wrote:Now can you tell me what Double Dutch is?

Double Dutch is lager, found in off licences in Leeds and Qatar. See my avatar. The website is illuminating on the subject of it's history; I will tell you that it costs £5 for eight 500ml cans (or up to £6 if you don't have the advantage of my kindly local shopkeeper), each of those cans is 5% alcohol, and everyone in Leeds drinks it. Well, it feels that way.

I will also provide evidence of it's effect:



I'll leave knobs to Lisa; that's more her department.

itchy mcgoo wrote:Oh, and I cooked a recipe from BBC last night that called for "3 knobs of butter". How much is a "knob"?

Thank you.

a knob is about a tablespoon or the size of a new potatoe.
lisa