I haven't decided if this is a bad review or a good review:

It's really just lots of different noises -- at some points they sound like they're on the verge of breaking into something else, but then don't. It just changes, very gradually. If I were somewhere, and it was playing, I wouldn't go running out of the bar -- but if someone told me they were going to see them play, I wouldn't exactly go running to the bar! I couldn't deal with a whole show like that -- not that it's bad, just that it's not my cup of tea. I think they're probably doing [this kind of music] well, but I don't have any context for judging it. It's so repetitive; it reminds me of when you have a dream where you keep trying to do something over and over again, but you can't accomplish it.

We've gotten a few instantaneous crowd reviews.


"... YEAH WE KNOW WHO YOU ARE!" - Yelled after our singer announced the band name for the 3rd time in as many songs.

"....You guys really remind me a lot of BOC," - The opening pitch from the guy that would become our manager (side note: Don't Fear the Reaper is his ring tone.)

Please note that we got "Zero Skulls".

That's zero skulls, folks.

It was almost based on this review alone that our label decided to keep us on.

= Justin

my band put out a cd that we recorded in my basement. after handling all of the recording/mixing/engineering/stratosphering responsibilites, it sure was a great feeling when the first review we got back only talked about how horrible the recording was and how whomever recorded it was an "assbag"

that was fantastic.

andyk

p.s i'm also a fan of the "not sure if that's a good/bad review"

p.p.s also put out a split cd where Heartattack reviewed it as a full length, with the other band as the band name and our name as the title of the cd...then the reviewer complained how after the third song, the production totally changed...note that each band had 3 songs...he did talk about the amazing packaging...how he didnt notice in that packaging that there was two band pictures, two different contact sections and how the numbering for the songs reset to number one at Track 4 boggles my mind...

"If you are a member of [former band], forgive me now… I fucking hate this record! It sounds like a harsh statement to make, but I feel I must be brutally honest when it comes to music like this. Of the few things that are exciting about [former band], the band of the same name’s best move was to limit the hell to just over twenty minutes. Jesus, this sounds so pretentious but I’m just being truthful."

and that's just the opening of the review...

It's not that (former band) isn't talented. The songs are all right, with the skills waiting on standby, but none of the tracks will keep your attention for long. Repetition is the downfall to (former band's last record). The songs just don't progress much, leaving (former band) to rely on a constant onslaught of thick wads of gut-busting guitar crunches to capture your attention. And where (again, former band) lets up from the peddle (sic) and slows the tempo on "(former band's song)," "(another song)," and "(still another song)," the songs don't get anymore interesting. Sad but true.

"Math rock from kids who are still learning Pythagoras' Theorem"

or some shit like that

-Punk Planet

hahahahah.

now THATS funny!

i love bad reviews. the last 7" my band put out got pretty much nothing but nice reviews. who needs that? i prefer the ones that liken us to bear shit. and then we can eat the bear shit. and that, my friends, is an inside joke.

andyk

Andrew Weatherhead wrote:"Math rock from kids who are still learning Pythagoras' Theorem"

or some shit like that

-Punk Planet

from NME, 1989 or so...three sentences, album review of "grrr" by the aggro-surf-core Defoliants

"Chicago used to be famous for gangsters. Now it's famous for Big Black ripoffs. Here comes another."

oooookay

-r

"Indie rock…uggh! This is a very challenging album, even after repeated listens. Agonizing, lo-fi, dissonant, atonal artsy-fartsy indie rock that looses any hope for melodic or even structural dynamic by being overly self-indulgent. Kind of like a Jackson Pollock painting…you have to look long and hard to find any beauty. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any. Good luck…"