Baby, easily.

Everyone I know seems to get married in a registry office and the only planning is booking a function room and blowing up a few balloons. Plus weddings actually happen and then are forgotten.

Babies go on and on and on. A woman I used to work with would talk about her grandson all the godarsecockbastarding time but in addition to sharing every dumb fucking thing this brat said ("I love my sister!" wow give the kid a fucking Esther Rantzen heart of gold) she insisted on doing a fucking impression of the little prick.

Oh and her ringtone for when she got a text was a recording of her cunt grandchild saying "nanny, you've got a message" and everyone in the office (excluding me) would go "awww" even two fucking years later.

God I wanna headbutt a nun just thinking about it.

a co-worker of mine, in between cracking her pudgy over-weight fingers, loves to talk to me about the latest take-away outlet she's ordered her meals from.

I nod and then hope she will soon shut-up

Babies are fecking adorable. Cute little pudgy pounds of flesh gaaing and gooing. What's not to love about this? Show me pictures, rattle off anecdotes, it's all good. I eat up babies like ice cream sandwiches.

I could give a rat's ass about you breeders and yr commitment ceremonies.

Rotten Tanx wrote:God I wanna headbutt a nun just thinking about it.

Hahahaha!

One of the worst thing to ever happen was when my co-worker's daughter was awarded pupil of the year at her (private) school (for little cunts).

She got a certificate and everything, I understand.

Mother blubbed with happiness.

Well, I can understand her pride, and really, I don't even mind her telling me once. But fifteen fucking times? ARGHHHHHHH

H-GM wrote:I could give a rat's ass about you breeders and yr commitment ceremonies.

I would have paid to see you utter this line in my old office, where a co-worker told me "I've got nothingagainst gays, it's just wrong, isn't it?"

Seriously.

I'll give you fifty bucks.

simmo wrote:
I'll give you fifty bucks.

Pay up, simmo. There's no shame in my game.

Baby Talk.

Wedding stories might involve booze or high jinks. Babies are so dull. They are basically little piss and shit factories. You have no idea how little I want to hear about that. If there was a list of things Dski does not ever want to hear about and it would probably look something like this -

1) Pete Doherty.
2) Scrofula.
3) Baby Talk.

If a person is interesting, their anecdotes about their babies might be interesting. I suppose this may extend to weddings too. Generally though, the more interesting the person, the less they talk about these things.

I don't care about your baby. I don't care about your wedding. I don't care about your cousin and I don't care about your car. I don't care about your garden, your house, your mortgage or your ghoulish thrills about your neighbour's dad's operation. I don't want to hear about your husband, your wife, your fiance or your ex. I don't care how much or how little you've been drinking this week because you're trying to cut down/cut loose a bit. Fuck your diet, fuck your fat ass and fuck your thick beer poisoned husband and his badly aimed sperm. I can't stand your fake laugh and I know you cry yourself to sleep.

Oh, and I don't give a shit where you're going on holiday, either.

When [IF] I get married, it's going to be a chaste affair. There will be very little room for wedding tales afterwards.

"So yeah, there was some ceremony and we all fucked off to the pub afterwards. And yes, she is pregnant, if you must know".

simmo wrote:

B_M_L wrote:"HOUSE PRICES IN YOUR AREA"

Oh God! that's a particularly painful one!

Really? I love talking about the price of real estate. No joke.

Babies? I have two...and yes, it's boring to hear other people talk about them. However, mine are very interesting. PM for stories.

Weddings? They are *all* boring.

And no, I am not remotely interested in seeing your ultrasound photo.