I envy you. I wish I had the balls to move to Chicago.

It's just not the same since terrorists attacked the Sears Tower.

Oh god!!!!! Fat chicks????????? Well if it gets super cold I just may have to crawl up in one like a wooly mammoth. Hmmmmmm

Ferrett wrote:Oh god!!!!! Fat chicks????????? Well if it gets super cold I just may have to crawl up in one like a wooly mammoth. Hmmmmmm

Well, once I asked my friend why he always bangs fat girls...this friend of mine was a very lazy and unproductive member of society...he says to me 'Well, I'll put it like this...there's always food in their house'

Ferrett wrote:Oh god!!!!! Fat chicks????????? Well if it gets super cold I just may have to crawl up in one like a wooly mammoth. Hmmmmmm

Cold? Like someone said above, the weather is *just like* Florida, but with one cold month. Just one.

So for one month I'll have to have a fat chick carcass in my house. Thats cool I guess

caix wrote:
The best is the spring, after the snow melts. The fresh scents after the thaw are just amazing.

Yes, "fresh". Like thawing dog poops.

Awesome thanks!!! As for a car and all I would have to say I will have a motorcycle maybe a car I dunno. I know I won't on my motorcycle during the winter.

There's an expression a friend from Argentina taught me.

Fat girls: Warm in winter, shade in summer.

caix wrote:It gets cold, but only really cold for a month. So cold your boogers will freeze together.

The rest of the time it's only cold enough for your boogers to freeze alone, in horrific isolation.

It will be deathly cold. Don't let anyone kid you, especially not someone who lives there - they're in a constant state of self-delusion. You can't blame them, it's a survival mechanism, and without it they would be unable to exist in Chicago.

No matter how well you prepare, no matter how gradual the transition into winter may be in a given year, no matter how thick your jacket, no matter how fat the chick, you will at some point wonder why you're bothering to stay alive. At some point you'll consider butchering the postman because you just can't face going out the door into That but you need the protein. At some point you'll realize you fear going outside, and that you've been avoiding doing anything because it takes too much effort. You'll probably try to overcome that and start bundling yourself up, layering, putting on a scarf or two, the thick coat, the hats, the boots, all in an effort to go out because you refuse to let winter win. Then after an hour or two of psyching yourself up, you're ready to walk the block down to the bar on the corner. You'll want to cry, but that kind of exposed moisture is death. After doing that a few times, you'll opt to just stay indoors.

One month? I've seen it snow in May there. Winter starts in October, gets going in December, destroys all hope in January, crushes your soul in February, teases you with a few nice days in March just so that it can freeze the tears to your face on the remaining days.. April will be occasionally nice but you'll fear the coming backlash.

Then June through August it'll be 90-100 degrees around the clock. Ever try to sleep when it's 100?

The end of April, May, September, and the start of October are all nice, though. That's as much as 3 months when being outside is pleasant.

The best is the spring, after the snow melts. The fresh scents after the thaw are just amazing.

And while winter tries passively to kill you, spring goes all out, actively trying to bash your brains in. Downtown, the ice starts thawing off of all the flat roofs and comes crashing down in what are always described in the paper as "microwave-sized chunks of ice." At least once a spring one of these microwave-sized chunks of ice kills some innocent. The last year I lived there it was some girl from the projects who's dad dropped her off to go take her SATs as she had some very promising college offers out in front of her. before her dad could even pull away, a microwave-sized block of ice fell 15 stories and landed squarely on her head, spattering the sidewalk and his car with her brains.


But all of that said it's still probably better than Orlando.