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Headlines That Make The Onion Appear Obsolete

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 1:59 am
by Christopher J McGarvey_Archive

Headlines That Make The Onion Appear Obsolete

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 6:53 am
by AnthonyVillalobos_Archive
Waffle house fight?


Wow.


Michigan must be intense nowadays.

Headlines That Make The Onion Appear Obsolete

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 11:28 am
by coach_Archive
Vice is a crappy magazine, but there's an article in a recent issue about a crime magazine in Mexico. In it, the editor referred to a story about a teacher whose husband shot her dead in front of her students. The headline?

"He Gets an A in Homicide."

Headlines That Make The Onion Appear Obsolete

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 11:36 am
by DrAwkward_Archive
Lemuel Gulliver wrote:Landocalrissian got pinched. Here.


In the story his name is spelled "Landocalrissan." So either the newspaper committed a typo, or this guy's parents are even bigger fucking idiots.

Headlines That Make The Onion Appear Obsolete

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 1:52 pm
by lemur68_Archive
DrAwkward wrote:
Lemuel Gulliver wrote:Landocalrissian got pinched. Here.


In the story his name is spelled "Landocalrissan." So either the newspaper committed a typo, or this guy's parents are even bigger fucking idiots.


I'm under the impression that Landocalrissian is his first name.

So, yes, the parents have guaranteed that they're not getting grandchildren.

Headlines That Make The Onion Appear Obsolete

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 2:41 pm
by DrAwkward_Archive
lemur68 wrote:
DrAwkward wrote:
Lemuel Gulliver wrote:Landocalrissian got pinched. Here.


In the story his name is spelled "Landocalrissan." So either the newspaper committed a typo, or this guy's parents are even bigger fucking idiots.


I'm under the impression that Landocalrissian is his first name.

So, yes, the parents have guaranteed that they're not getting grandchildren.


I know that's his first name, but look again, Lemur. It's missing an 'i' in the article.

Headlines That Make The Onion Appear Obsolete

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 4:06 pm
by vockins_Archive
This same paper had a headline in their sports recruiting sidebar this week that read, "Rape Orally Committed to Duke."

One of the quotes was, "'I'm excited about the opportunity,' said Rape."

Headlines That Make The Onion Appear Obsolete

Posted: Sun Feb 10, 2008 7:24 pm
by Arson Smith_Archive
vockins wrote:

This same paper had a headline in their sports recruiting sidebar this week that read, "Rape Orally Committed to Duke."

One of the quotes was, "'I'm excited about the opportunity,' said Rape."

Excited? To be sure. Let's review the Triangle of Crime:

Image


(er, um... Skills? Oof.)

Headlines That Make The Onion Appear Obsolete

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 4:20 pm
by DazeyDiver_Archive

Headlines That Make The Onion Appear Obsolete

Posted: Tue Feb 12, 2008 4:24 pm
by caix_Archive