What keeps me from being depressed is knowing that I'm not the only jerkoff out there with problems. I get frustrated and pissed off, but I always try to keep my head on strait and pull myself out of whatever issue I'm having. Over the years, I've found that I'm the most calm when terrible things happen.

Marsupialized wrote:I'm really beaten down.

Here 'Sup, hope this helps...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=LDDKzbwBaSE

The ex brought me out to Minneapolis to go back to school, than ditched me six months from graduation and moved to my hometown. I hate my job but can't afford to lose it because of student loan debt, and I want to hate fuck my boss, so clocking in is a total mindfuck every morning. Failing to find a decent paying job back home. All my old friends (including the guys I don't even like anymore) are bugging me about moving back, which, you know, was pressure enough without my family on me all the time. No heat in the house, no food in the house, rent is constantly two weeks late for the house. Old man got laid off and the UAW did their little "sorry we can't help you" pussy-dance. I live with my current (ex)girlfriend who is so much of a shut-in that she rarely ever leaves the bedroom, and we're both so financially fucked that we can't afford to live without each other. Was happy to get my new credit card only because I could put groceries on it, but I get buyer's remorse because it's supposed to be for a moving van goddamnit. Ran out of coffee this morning.
On the plus side, I've pretty much kicked alcoholism. (After rough calculations, I found I was drinking 88 beers per week. I'm now down to a twelve pack on the weekends.) My roommates and I found a fourth roomie to lighten the rent load. There's a new (rough version) of a song on my band's MSpac (link in sig). I found a "No Parking, Violators Will Be Towed" sign in the alley that actually compliments the decor in the living room, even if it is a little dorm-ish. Oh, and I spent the morning watching porn.
Porn and coffee: the right way to start any sabbath.

Steve V. wrote:

I cannot be depressed in a world that has Leadership Pickles.

Charlie D wrote:hate fuck

I would go see a band called Hate Fuck.

chairman_hall wrote:

Charlie D wrote:hate fuck

I would go see a band called Hate Fuck.

They're from Denver.

I've been feeling really at peace lately, more comfortable in my own skin than I've been for quite some time. Maybe it's the medication kicking in, maybe it's the sensation of being in a well-heated room while it snows and snows outside...I dunno.

But for what it's worth, I've come to the conclusion that getting hung up on someone is a tremendous waste of time, to the extent that I wont even let it happen anymore if I have any say in the matter. I'm just sick of it, putting my life in the hands of some girl who doesn't even know what to do with it. It's really quite childish. As if I could only be a happy with a some girl there to bolster me, as if I haven't already faced enough super-depressing shit on my own to know that I can survive just about anything without having someone by my side.

I suppose I'm just learning not to expect much from people. Perhaps someday I'll be so enlightened as to harbor no expectations at all.

That would be nice.

I managed to get depressed about my grades for this quarter, and they're not even bad - in fact, they're stellar. That I managed to get depressed about it makes me feel like a fraud and a jackass - which only makes me more depressed. A vicious cycle!

Oh crap, don't get me started. Too late.

I've got my second funeral in a month on wednesday. No idea how to behave.

I've been doing this job for 3 months as a temp but they're hiring people right now and I can't apply because it's (for now) internal applications only. I probably wouldn't get it anyway. And today and tomorrow both the people I work with are off so I'm running this department on my own, for half of their salary I might add, and I know I'm gonna screw everything up.

The girl I've come to speak to more than any of my other friends has fallen out with me. I just wanted us to hang out together but I guess I said it wrong or something.

A girl in the next office was flirting with me at the christmas party. This almost never happens. I handled it wrong (though I don't know how) and now she won't even look me in the eye. I hate this.

No one but me has been inside my home in months. I've all but stopped using my living room.

And debt collectors are getting more threatening as the weeks go by. And the gas will be cut off soon. And I can't afford to get people decent Christmas presents.


Ah man, fuck this thread. I'll be back every 5 minutes.

Rotten Tanx wrote:I've got my second funeral in a month on wednesday. No idea how to behave.

Bring sleigh bells and ring them incessantly.