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Fuck this tomato recall. FUCK. IT.

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 1:51 pm
by kerble_Archive
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Fuck this tomato recall. FUCK. IT.

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 1:52 pm
by lemur68_Archive
Chipotle apparently recalled and de-recalled their tomato salsa over the course of a weekend.

I hate tomatoes, so I guess that makes me a walkin' talkin' vag.

I've been TPMAT0WND!

Fuck this tomato recall. FUCK. IT.

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 1:54 pm
by djimbe_Archive
1.) tomatoes DO taste like awsome. Particularly when you grab them off the vine, warm on the outside from the golden summer sun; cool and sweet on the inside from the alchemy that is the tomato.

2.) Tomatoes from any kind of fast-type food selling establishment are almost always going to be yucky. They're bred for shelf life, fercryin' out loud. Taste is secondary.

3.) It's summer in the US of A. Get you some farm stand love apples. They won't be subject to any factory farming recall, and are probably much less subject to the sort of factory farming practices that promote things like salmonella in the first place.

4.) I got some tomatoes from my local Amish purveyor over the weekend. Cut 'em into big slabs and top with a bit of real mayonase and drift off into gustatory heaven.

5.) you can make a bitchin' dill pickle out of green tomatoes...

Fuck this tomato recall. FUCK. IT.

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 1:55 pm
by Germ War_Archive
I agree with most of your post, Doc, except for the fact that ketchup is for children.

Coincidentally, I ate at Erbert & Gerbert's today and forgot about the recall, and didn't even remember that my sandwich was supposed to have tomatoes on it until I read your rant.

Tomatoes are not crap. I work part-time in a pizza & hoagy shop and was surprised to show up to work the same day I'd eaten a tomato-less burrito at Chipotle that this was a nation-wide recall. It's slightly faster for me to make you a sandwich now, though.

Fuck this tomato recall. FUCK. IT.

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 1:56 pm
by Christopher J McGarvey_Archive
Y'all are lazy

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Fuck this tomato recall. FUCK. IT.

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 1:56 pm
by unsaved_Archive
DrAwkward wrote:FUCK YOU PEOPLE. I WANT MY TOMATOES.


Shhhhhh. It's OK. Everything will be OK. Just relax. Relax. Close your eyes. Go to your good place. Nothing to worry about. No worries. It's OK. It will all be over soon. Shhhhhhhhhhhh.
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Feel better?

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Fuck this tomato recall. FUCK. IT.

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 1:58 pm
by kerble_Archive
Christopher J. McGarvey wrote:Y'all are lazy


punk, I made my poster, you just bootlegged google.

Fuck this tomato recall. FUCK. IT.

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 1:59 pm
by zom-zom_Archive
Duluth is a great town. Hilarious to live in filthy Chicago and ask if someone in super-clean Duluth is covered in soot.. duhhh.

Grow your own or use local tomatoes. Is this so difficult? Commercial tomatoes are tasteless poisonballs.

Fuck this tomato recall. FUCK. IT.

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 2:00 pm
by yaledelay_Archive
Kayte R. wrote: Bring your own tomatoes to the subshop.



DJ this is your correct answer, and I suggest you do this in the sub shop right infont of the kid who is making your sub, I suggest you then fling this sub into your mouthhole and exclaim "I don't give no fucks 'bout no 'nilla" in a "I drink your milkshake" style...

Fuck this tomato recall. FUCK. IT.

Posted: Mon Jun 16, 2008 2:06 pm
by DrAwkward_Archive
While i take your local-grown suggestions to heart, do keep in mind that this solution flies in the face of the chest-thumping jingoistic AmericaFuckYeah tone of the original post. Gotta stay in character.

Now, where was i? TOMATOESFUCKINGAGLLLLARRRGHGHHHHHH