- 6 string coffee table basses
- roto-toms
- a keyboardist with a dx7
- rack effects for the guitarist / bassist
- the show starts with those "lets all play lots of noise and notes and cymbal bashing and OOH WE ARE ABOUT TO ROCK OUT A LOT"

Sandals on stage.
Pony tails.
Pointy guitars

Get the fuck out.

Sandals 'n' shorts.

Although, one time I was pleasantly surprised by a band from Fargo, ND that (according to this thread) was an egregious "bad band sign" offender.

ginandtacos.com wrote:2. Banners. Bands playing in front of a large banner bearing their name and/or "logo" cannot possibly be good. This is science.

This tells me that you've either never seen Stinking Lizaveta live, or that you have and your silly criteria are keeping you from recognizing greatness.

Guys wearing girls jeans

Minotaur029 wrote:Sandals 'n' shorts.

Although, one time I was pleasantly surprised by a band from Fargo, ND that (according to this thread) was an egregious "bad band sign" offender.

Shorts used to be cool. See: A Certain Ratio and New Order.

They're onstage.

Chris Thomson plays a Hamer Explorer in Red Eyed Legends. If there was ever a prototype of an inverse virtuoso guitar shredder, it's him. Cool simple riffs.

Look at the bass guitar. Is it 'pro'? It can have but merely four strings, but if it looks like an endangered hardwood dildo, you know straightaway that something awful is about to commence.

Frank Decent wrote:Sandals on stage.
Pony tails.
Pointy guitars

Get the fuck out.

Clip-on ponytails = NC