jayryan wrote:this thread is not a "pick one" situation;

look at it more as a "to-do list".

electrician, check.
shrimp, check.
upper-decker, check.
pentagram, check.
call the city, check.

Czech landlord: check.

alandeus wrote:

jayryan wrote:this thread is not a "pick one" situation;

look at it more as a "to-do list".

electrician, check.
shrimp, check.
upper-decker, check.
pentagram, check.
call the city, check.

Czech landlord: check.

That's racist!

alandeus wrote:Wouldn't a slow-acting remedy, like fish in the vents, just kind of fuck over the next tenant? If you want to take him down, just make note of every single physical defect, no matter how minor, and submit it to the housing dept. for 'review.' They'll slap a giant sign on the building to give prospective tenants fair enough warning to stay away and he'll be paying out the ass to bring it up to code.

i'm a landlord and yes this is the best way to do it...supremely annoying...the other stuff is more of a hassle to innocent tenants really and just not cool...

oh yeah, put lots of holes in the walls and fuck up the carpet...that always pisses me off...

steve wrote:Get some frozen shrimp. Pull a baseboard and knock a hole in the plaster that will get hidden by the baseboard. Near a radiator if possible. Put a bunch of frozen shrimp in there. Replace the baseboard. Leave.

LOL and home run.
I didn't have time to post details of this scummy situation I'm in, but I'll do so later tonite.

Oh yeah, and when is our own Shady Landlord gonna get his sorry ass to this thread ? I need some more laughs, Godamnit !

steve wrote:Get some frozen shrimp. Pull a baseboard and knock a hole in the plaster that will get hidden by the baseboard. Near a radiator if possible. Put a bunch of frozen shrimp in there. Replace the baseboard. Leave.

This is good, indeed but 20 dead pinky mice work even better than shrimp.

steve wrote:Get some frozen shrimp. Pull a baseboard and knock a hole in the plaster that will get hidden by the baseboard. Near a radiator if possible. Put a bunch of frozen shrimp in there. Replace the baseboard. Leave.

Yeah, my drummer Screw (he of a thousand stupid stories) busted this shit.

But with frozen mice.

Edit: Just saw 'sups post. I guess it's a cert

Here's the perfect recipe for revenge:


CHICKENBOMB

What you'll need:

(all measurements are approximate)

1 large glass jar with a screw-top lid. The bigger the better. Get the largest jar you can transport and conceal at the target location. A bigass family-size mayonnaise jar from Sam's Club or Costco is ideal.

3lb. package of raw chicken (Nothing fancy is necessary here. Just get the largest quantity of meat at the lowest price)

2 quarts whole buttermilk

5-minute epoxy or silicone sealant

Construction:
Chop the chicken parts into medium-sized chunks. Open the jar, toss raw chicken inside. Pour in buttermilk to cover chicken, but leaving approximately 1" - 3" gap at the top, depending on size of jar. Apply epoxy or silicone sealant all around the inside corner of the lid where the screw-thread meets the top. Apply a little to the threaded area as well. Screw lid on tightly.

Deployment:
Hide jar in an inconspicuous place where a large, rotting mess would do major damage, but where the jar won't likely be discovered for awhile. Good places to conceal the chickenbomb include closets, attics, car trunks, drop-ceilings, air vents, behind the couch, under the bed, etc. Use your imagination. Place the jar either upside-down or on its side to ensure it empties out when the time comes.

Results:
Wait a few weeks. After a indeterminate amount of time (dependent on temperature, size of jar, airspace, etc.), fermentation gases and nasty odoriferous vapors from bacterial decay will build up inside the jar until its structural integrity fails and it can no longer hold in its dirty little secret.

BAM!!!

Instant nastiness.

You can move out a few days early, on the way to the new spot stop in at the nearest homeless encampment and give them the keys and directions tell them it's all theirs and to make themselves at home.
That'll cause all kinds of problems.

Flushing a jumper down the toilet seems to work pretty well. Takes a day or two, that one.