I would like to say, as a Londoner, that we will welcome the poor economic refugees from the impoverished Northern regions with open arms. We are establishing language centres so that your children can attend remedial language classed to rid them of your unusual dialects and pronunciations.

Our research show’s that many of you can be retrained from your current employment in agriculture, ironmongery and thieving into more useful careers in the city as barmen, shopkeepers, drinkers with interesting stories to tell and character actors in BBC comedy programs.

Do not be fearful. Cars, computers and mobile phones will only seem unusual at first, but even those of you not acquainted with the telephone should pick up the skills required to cross busy roads and use debt cards in no time. Some of you may even find our film cinemas amusing eventually – they are much like your coal mines only with moving pictures projected onto the walls!

Your Sincerely,
The Trustees, Policy Exchange.

B_M_L wrote:I would like to say, as a Londoner, that we will welcome the poor economic refugees from the impoverished Northern regions with open arms. We are establishing language centres so that your children can attend remedial language classed to rid them of your unusual dialects and pronunciations.

Our research show’s that many of you can be retrained from your current employment in agriculture, ironmongery and thieving into more useful careers in the city as barmen, shopkeepers, drinkers with interesting stories to tell and character actors in BBC comedy programs.

Do not be fearful. Cars, computers and mobile phones will only seem unusual at first, but even those of you not acquainted with the telephone should pick up the skills required to cross busy roads and use debt cards in no time. Some of you may even find our film cinemas amusing eventually – they are much like your coal mines only with moving pictures projected onto the walls!

Your Sincerely,
The Trustees, Policy Exchange.

haha!

This is about North London, right?

Sorry, I've been too busy deciding where to get a macchiato to read the article.

johnnyshape wrote:Sorry, I've been too busy deciding where to get a macchiato to read the article.

What is there to decide?

Hell yes you should!

Nina wrote:

johnnyshape wrote:Sorry, I've been too busy deciding where to get a macchiato to read the article.

What is there to decide?

Where to get it.

I've heard of this 'Britain' outside the M25. Occasionally they mention it in the Observer.

I had pizza last night. Bet you haven't got that on your southern menus.

What a twatty report (good to see you round these parts though, CJH!)

Not meaning to hijack the thread, but I wondered if the good people of EA would like to take part in an experiment I have entitled The Idea of North.

I've encountered many different opinions as to where the fuck The South ends and the North begins. For example, the bassist in my band mocks me for being a southerner, and yet he is from Coventry. It strikes me that the average Geordie would laugh at the idea of Coventry being in the north; yet I have met a young man who claimed that anything north of Oxford is "in the North". What about Brummies? Are they Northerners or Southerners?

Hereis a map of the UK. I'd be interested to see where you would mark the divide between North and South on it... just to see how similar/dissimilar peoples' perceptions are.

Here's how I'd divide things up:



I'd say anything north of the River Trent is "north" - which puts me about 800m in to the Northern Zone. Is this a fairly non-controversial view? Are the residents of Nottingham southern jessies? Or nothern thugs?

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

Alternately my Northern brethren could follow my lead and head further North. Come to scenic Peterhead (aka New Kraków).



All the granite you can eat. Cold running water. Fish. Neds. The slow embrace of a welcome death.

2207 wrote:I had pizza last night. Bet you haven't got that on your southern menus.

They most definitely do. Its called 'baked foccaccia bread topped with gently melted stilton and edam cheese, parma ham, wild mushrooms and hand-picked, sun-ripened tomatoes'. They called it 'pizza' for ye so you could spell and/or order it.