hip priest wrote:"The scruffiest person I have ever seen on a train in my entire life"

I know him. And it's True.

gio wrote:I believe they may have been monitoring my internet activity. Perhaps it was the "Vagina Dentata" Wikipedia query that triggered my release.
g

dirtiest thing written on the boards, thus far. (apologies to anyone who already made this joke. i haven't read the full post.)

Well I never got fired but I almost did...

Many years ago I got a job doing customer service at a place called Music Minus One/Pocket Songs. MMO or Music Minus One, for those who don't know, is a product that's been around since maybe the 50's or 60's which is basically a recording of a piece of classical or jazz music without the main instrumental part (with sheet music included). So you could learn to play a Beethoven piano sonata, for instance, and play along with a recorded orchestra. An ingenious idea. Well, after years of success they sort of let this product line go in a big way. The bulk of their sales came from their latest product line, Pocketsongs which were basically Karaoke cassettes. They had a huge catalog of these things and I took orders from middle America buying the fuck out of those overpriced, cheap-ass cassettes. It was horrifying.

The company was started by a guy who, despite being a stereotypical curmudgeon, still ran things. His more sensible son, who came up with the Pocket Songs idea was also on the scene. The curmudgeon used to terrorize the employees with yelling fits that were rumoured to come from his bad back. The employees in this den of ridiculousness were overwhelmingly composed of poor saps who were being extremely underpaid to be exposed to a general atmosphere of low-class hostility. The workplace was a nasty warehouse space that was unclean and unattractive.

The second tier of authority there was two brothers. One was an old alcoholic who looked homeless and would come to work with teeth missing (drunken fistfight?). The other was a younger meathead who rarely did any work, harrassed the women with sexual talk, and regularly provoked me (one day he actually challenged me to a fight while I was working).

Anyway, despite my doing more work than anyone there, I had punched in late (never more than 5 minutes and I always made up the minutes) a few too many times and I got a dire warning letter from my oafish, total loser immediate boss. I was stunned. This car wreck of a operation, this multiple-harrassement-lawsuit-waiting-to-happen dump was actually disciplining me about a few minutes that I always made up the same day? I was blown away! However, I did nothing because I knew I was leaving anyway in a month or so.

When I quit I told them straight-faced I was going to work on a "sex farm" upstate. I guess they had never seen Spinal Tap because they kept asking me questions about what I was going to be doing there.

Anyway, I learned a big lesson about setting standards for what I will accept at a job. Lots of stories from my time there...

Marlowe

jim primate wrote:

gio wrote:I believe they may have been monitoring my internet activity. Perhaps it was the "Vagina Dentata" Wikipedia query that triggered my release.
g

dirtiest thing written on the boards, thus far. (apologies to anyone who already made this joke. i haven't read the full post.)

Wow, I hadn't even noticed the subconscious double entendre! Good eye!

Freud would be proud.

i rear-ended a bunch of kids in panama city beach, fl during spring break in my work van.
they had a 2003 mitsubitshi and i did about $5,000 worth of damage to it.
the company allows a max of $500 worth of damage in an accident, well past my limit.
16-18 yr. old georgia kids in their parents car.
when they got out they had nasty shit all over them.
their chewing tobacco cup had spilled when i hit 'em.
it was beautiful!

alexdamon wrote:i rear-ended a bunch of kids in panama city beach, fl during spring break in my work van.
they had a 2003 mitsubitshi and i did about $5,000 worth of damage to it.
the company allows a max of $500 worth of damage in an accident, well past my limit.
16-18 yr. old georgia kids in their parents car.
when they got out they had nasty shit all over them.
their chewing tobacco cup had spilled when i hit 'em.
it was beautiful!

I suppose damage to company vehicles could be a new thread. I backed a shiny new 4-wheel-drive Ford turbo-diesel (crewcab) off a cutblock. Did a helluva lot more than $5000 damage, but I didn’t get fired. It was a terrible day however.

ironyengine wrote:Ffwd to a friday in Sept, 2002 - our director calls me into his office where I am asked to sit down in front of his desk and listen to the HR representative on speakerphone from NY telling me that the company downsizing has to continue, and regrettably I am the next name in line to be laid off. There is some babble about health benefits continuing, no severence since we're already bankrupt and all, etc etc. The HR rep then asks me if I have any questions regarding my termination, to which I look my director dead in the eyes and ask the disembodied voice: "yeah, this wouldn't happen to be because I'm gay or anything, would it?"

A good friend of mine works at Motorola (chopping-block central) and I want to get him a plaque that says "I'm gay, 1/8th native american, and HIV positive" so he can't be fired.

BUMP

I don't have a story, but I was fired today without incident. I was proud of myself for not punching co-workers or loudly announcing that everyone was more than welcome to perform oral sex on me, etc.

Of course later on, after I'd had a few beers, I was ready to go back and blow up the building. My wife assured me that I did the right thing by acting mature about the whole situation, but fuck that, I wanna kill whitey real good like...

Oh well, fuck it...I couldn't be happier.

MajorEverettMiller wrote:BUMP

I don't have a story, but I was fired today without incident.
Oh well, fuck it...I couldn't be happier.

that's pretty weak - you didn't see it coming at all? fuck those dudes.
i got hired today without incident. i am also drinking several beers.

This is four years ago recent-
...living on a friend's couch, because I impulsively decided to move to a different state. Jobs are scarce, except the usual crap jobs (restaraunt, etc.) Finally get a job where I'm responsible, among other things, for doleing out cash to participants in marketing research. I'm working with the manager's sister. A considerable sum of money disappears from the till, ten minutes after I just counted it. My obvious dismay plus my performance keeps me from getting canned...I pretty much convinced myself that I miscounted. The next time it happens, it is obvious that it's the manager's sister.

The manager seemed more apologetic than was warranted under the circumstances. I get the distinct feeling that everyone knew I had to be the fall guy. The worst aspect of it all was that I actually doubted myself...