Rimbaud III wrote:Step off mothers and witness the superiority of my band: The Sexiest Blackman Vs The Legend of Steve. We turned the tables on rock and roll in a kind of rape-the-sports-star-before-he-gets-you way. We've got all the shit - microphones, compression plug-ins, chicks that dig us and killer chops. I'll put a fuck in the first band that get even four yards of being sweatier than us. Last week, your mom assured me that we could go "all the way". We promptly did.

It sounds like you may have what it takes to support my band on our imminent tour of Glasgow. MORTARD are the inventors and prime purveyors of SEPPU-CORE. The band is based on the zen-like realisation that in order to kill the faces of our audience, we first had to kill our own faces.
We have compressed chicks with chops. Bass slayer Jim Mortard has combined the principles of Joey DeMaio's 'Black Wind', and the infamous 'Brown Note' concept to form an incredible new Bass sound called 'Planet Shitstorm(tm). This is predicted to cause serious problems with your bowels.

MORTARD are your future, I shit you.

all your bands sound so good
i just had to tell you all about mine!
we're called scott free and the death machine
we're on a label called industrial military complex
our songs are long, slow and painful
but we can play a few at the same time!

Angry_Dragon wrote:Dude!!!!!

I knew I shouldn't have sent you that mp3. That's a total rip off of our song by the very similar title of
"I Should Fly A Kite Into Your World Trade Center"

See you in court kitten-stabber.

I used to be in a super slow-noise hearthcore math band called "Shakes and Bladdered", but I wasn't gettin no chicks. Now we've disbanded and I've gone and gotten a haircut an stuff. Now I'm in a garage rock band called "The Gas Mark 7s" with some mature students from Leeds. It's great. You know the feeling like when you've been at university for like a whole term and you've been living off gravy and rice, and then you go home and your mum cooks a roast? We're like, the musical equivalent of that n'shit.

Check us out - we're in residency in Hoxton!

Rimbaud III wrote:Step off mothers and witness the superiority of my band: The Sexiest Blackman Vs The Legend of Steve. We turned the tables on rock and roll in a kind of rape-the-sports-star-before-he-gets-you way. We've got all the shit - microphones, compression plug-ins, chicks that dig us and killer chops. I'll put a fuck in the first band that get even four yards of being sweatier than us. Last week, your mom assured me that we could go "all the way". We promptly did.

This is in the running for funniest post I've ever read on this forum. I ascii-heart you, Seen-yor Rimbaud.

I am in a "Guns N' Roses" tribute band called "Guns and Roses". I play the pleather. My bandmates and I shoplift a lot of shit from Spencer Gifts. I always have to borrow boots. One time a guy who kind of looks like Gene Simmons was at the Whiskey, and I saw him say something to somebody. I wish that I had a heroin problem. No faggots.

I play in an electro-grindcore band called My Dance Face. We have a wide-variety of influences too obscure for you to have heard of. Just tell your mother that we sound like Devo-meets-Ministry and let her fill in the blanks.

Germ War wrote:I play in an electro-grindcore band called My Dance Face. We have a wide-variety of influences too obscure for you to have heard of. Just tell your mother that we sound like Devo-meets-Ministry and let her fill in the blanks.

I liked your old name better.
There's something about Counting Crows that just rolls off the tongue like
R. Kelly's urine on a 14 year old girl's head.

Thats funny, i was in a band with Steve "Dave" Alvarado called 14 year old girl's head.

The music I play is as described as below: but now I need find people to start a band

It sounds like refused (minus the hardcore, and vocals), mixed with the doors loosnes and black heart procession's bleakness add some ocean atmosphere with sometimes tight riffs, with timed dynamic drumming add a little "the good the bad the ugly" and it might sound a little of what I'm trying to describe.

someday, I tell ya. someday...