Despite the shittiness of the tube in the summer, the over-priced alcohol, the blackened snot you fill tissues with in the evening, the poor transport links into South London, the stupid barnets you see in Whitechapel, Hoxton and Bethnal Green I fucking love this city.
One day, when I am mayor, travel will be free and every last Macdonalds will be forced into serving nothing but (free-range, herb-filled) bangers and (new potato) mash. I'll cut the price of beer, and force pubs to diversify their ranges - there's nothing wrong with having more continental hooch, it DOESN'T mean you're a traitor. Oh, and I'll get the ICA to take up permanent residency a little further up the road in Buck Palace. The queen can fuck off back to Windsor with her loutish squaddie army.

Rimbaud III wrote:Despite the shittiness of the tube in the summer, the over-priced alcohol, the blackened snot you fill tissues with in the evening, the poor transport links into South London, the stupid barnets you see in Whitechapel, Hoxton and Bethnal Green I fucking love this city.
One day, when I am mayor, travel will be free and every last Macdonalds will be forced into serving nothing but (free-range, herb-filled) bangers and (new potato) mash. I'll cut the price of beer, and force pubs to diversify their ranges - there's nothing wrong with having more continental hooch, it DOESN'T mean you're a traitor. Oh, and I'll get the ICA to take up permanent residency a little further up the road in Buck Palace. The queen can fuck off back to Windsor with her loutish squaddie army.

You just got my vote!!! But can we demolish Buckingham Palace -its ugly as sin- and have the ICA redesigned by Oscar Niemeyer?

Gramsci wrote:

Rimbaud III wrote:Despite the shittiness of the tube in the summer, the over-priced alcohol, the blackened snot you fill tissues with in the evening, the poor transport links into South London, the stupid barnets you see in Whitechapel, Hoxton and Bethnal Green I fucking love this city.
One day, when I am mayor, travel will be free and every last Macdonalds will be forced into serving nothing but (free-range, herb-filled) bangers and (new potato) mash. I'll cut the price of beer, and force pubs to diversify their ranges - there's nothing wrong with having more continental hooch, it DOESN'T mean you're a traitor. Oh, and I'll get the ICA to take up permanent residency a little further up the road in Buck Palace. The queen can fuck off back to Windsor with her loutish squaddie army.

You just got my vote!!! But can we demolish Buckingham Palace -its ugly as sin- and the ICA redesigned by Oscar Niemeyer?

I have a friend that's training to be an architect, and I know it smacks of corruption, but I think I'll have to give him the contract or he'll be a real wanker to me for the rest of my life.
On the side though, I'm thinking we get Daniel Libeskind involved, but he has to collaborate with Brian Eno and Paul Mccarthy - they can step in to 'help' him, but actually slowly edge him out.

Rimbaud III wrote:On the side though, I'm thinking we get Daniel Libeskind involved, but he has to collaborate with Brian Eno and Paul Mccarthy - they can step in to 'help' him, but actually slowly edge him out.

Well, Danny boy must be pretty used to that by now...

I really need someone to explain the allure of this shit-box city to me.

I have never hated a travel experience as perfectly as I hated the four days that I spent in London. London, I sought your soft and dark, your charm and stink, and you delivered none of these things.

And I looked HARD.

Overwrought, pretentious, bland, unmanageable, manipulative and fake-o cosmopolitan. London, you're like an advertisement for an advertising agency. Didn't Orwell model you?

London, let me insult you completely: I prefer Los Angeles.

Bring back the V2, I say.

DIARRHEA. No waffles.

Rimbaud III wrote:the blackened snot you fill tissues with in the evening

so f'ing true. what the hell. i've been in polluted, smelly cities and yet somehow they did not do this to me. london did.

oh, and... not crap. how much rain do you really want though?

Bradley R. Weissenberger wrote:Bring back the V2, I say.

Harsh, A+.

I like London. It took about six months, but I like it.

Bradley R. Weissenberger wrote:I really need someone to explain the allure of this shit-box city to me.

I have never hated a travel experience as perfectly as I hated the four days that I spent in London. London, I sought your soft and dark, your charm and stink, and you delivered none of these things.

And I looked HARD.

Overwrought, pretentious, bland, unmanageable, manipulative and fake-o cosmopolitan. London, you're like an advertisement for an advertising agency. Didn't Orwell model you?

London, let me insult you completely: I prefer Los Angeles.

Bring back the V2, I say.

DIARRHEA. No waffles.

Bradley R. Weissenberger, I fear that you are tired of life...

Despite having cursed the city on the election of Boris Johnson (perhaps that's the reason?), I have to admit instinctually snarling "How dare he!" when I read your post. "She is the City of My Birth, the Greatest City in the World!"

I've been to a lot of great cities. Prettier ones, friendlier ones, more socially progressive ones, cities which I could say without doubt are easier to live in. And for all her many flaws - and there is truth in all of the ones you mention - I think that London is by far the greatest that I have seen. She is big enough to contain all of these flaws and still stun me regularly, and in a good way.

I have no idea how to respond further. There is a complete comprehension gap here.

But I am so sorry that you had a rotten time in London!

NOT CRAP, zero WF.

Edit: There is some irony to this post, as I am currently trying to conjure a piece on a past and imagined destructions of London.

Should you ever be tempted back, please get in touch and I will try to offer you a better guide to the city. I also heartily recommend Peter Ackroyd's London: the biography, which is a huge but immensely compelling, entertaining and compelling account of this troublesome city.

I love London.

This morning I walked over Clapham Common. It is a fantastic, open green space surrounded by beautiful mature trees, the sun was shining, and people were out running and cycling and bustling off to work. The brilliant thing is that this part of London isn’t even considered to be that nice – it wasn’t even mentioned in a recent guide to outdoor London.



Around the verges of the common - is Moens a tradition butchers specialising in organic meat and game, a great fish monger, a French bistro, a French patisserie, a traditional sour dough bread maker, restaurants specialising in food from Lebanon, Morocco, Jamaica, Italy and Poland… and a couple of chippies too, 2 independent wine shops and at least a couple of independent coffee houses.

I think that most people who live in a major city could say that about their neighbourhood. But none could jump on a bus and in 15-20mins be at 3 world renown art galleries (all with free entry), one of 2 major theatre districts in the world, + Shakespeares Globe, the best shopping in Europe, Roman ruins, the best museum in the world, the V&A, Albert Hall, or the financial centre of Europe… or a dozen+ great pubs and at least 3 venues hosting independent/DIY acts any night of the week. And that’s all walking distance or 1 bus… if you went by tube changed bus then the list would get seriously long.

I don't understand the "bland" comment... really - you didn't look very hard - or maybe you just looked hard into your lonely planet guide and forgot to look up? I think it’s good that people think its shit though. Nothing sucks as hard as tourists.

B_M_L wrote:maybe you just looked hard into your lonely planet guide and forgot to look up?

If by "Lonely Planet" guide you mean "the advice of many residents and exhaustive research", then you're spot on.

God, I'd rather visit Houston.

B_M_L wrote:I think it’s good that people think its shit though. Nothing sucks as hard as tourists.

I hope that your effort to avoid tourists in London works out for you.