Bambouche wrote:

I actually saw this band a couple years back...

This is ASSA, the most successful and respected ABBA cover band in history. Don't let the flag in the background fool you (obviously they're performing at some sort of charity event, something they do as often as they can), they're all about the music, all about the love...
On the far right is Ronnie Lee Weston, who's actually from Watts, but claims in interviews to be from Malmo, Sweden. His uninhibited signature funk at the end of Waterloo will make your eyes bleed.
The dude to the left of him is BB (Bjorn) Riggles, the founder of the band. His mother apparently started him young, playing Gold over and over to him while he was still in the womb (some allege that she also smoked rock constantly while carrying young Bjorn, but all connected with the family deny this).
The one in the middle is Davis 'Big Gay Dave' Johnson, known for his falsetto and his devotion to the memory of his mother. This photo was obviously taken before he started having his hair straightened.
On keyboards is Morris 'Does your Momma know' Willingdon, who can't usually tour with the band as he's unable to travel to at least 20 states (he now lives in France). That's Morris' brother with the sax (the guy bending over). He has a head injury.
The rhythm section is comprised of Jimmy 'Papa mia' Oates on bass, and Don 'Super Trouper' Hollister on drums. Don's still wearing a neck brace after a nasty attack by Swedish rivals Ace of Bass at at ABBA impersonators' convention in central Florida.

The guy in the white jacket with the sax is just some no-talent, cracker-ass honky.

1. Riot Patrol

2. L-R: Andy Sutherton-drums, Mick Hate-guitar/vocals, Jheri-bass

3. DIY Germcore Anarchist Oi Thrash Punk, with a hint of ska

4. Riot Patrol formed under two basic principals: The end of corperate fascism, and the freedom of earth's people. They originally only played house parties, but decided to seek out a label when they ran out of their parents money and needed to buy more pabst and Misfits back patches. Epitath saw their potential and signed them eagerly. They made their first big appearance on the Warped Tour, and soon after were touring in support of their debut album: "Kill Capitalist Nazi Scumbags Now!" They soon followed up with the "Ratbleed/Drunk Like the Man" single. Both releases were met with mild success. Riot Patrol disbanded in late June of 2004, due to Mick Hate's concern that Andy Sutherton was becoming increasingly "emo."

---

thumper wrote: That's Morris' brother with the sax (the guy bending over). He has a head injury.

Terrainasaur wrote:Epitath saw their potential and signed them eagerly.

Terrainasaur wrote:Riot Patrol disbanded in late June of 2004, due to Mick Hate's concern that Andy Sutherton was becoming increasingly "emo."

(File Under: Three reasons to love this forum.)

SHE-LACK

(From L-R)
Stacy Alnibi: guitar, vox
Barbara Westone: bass, background femme vox
Tara Traynor: batteria, open-mouthed sex appeal
Fluss: Transgender DJ, aka "catnip"
Heather: moog, arp, synths, filmmaker


I'm surprised this band hasn't been discussed here yet? SHE-LACK is -- yes, you guessed it -- an all lesbian Shellac cover band from Eugene, Oregon ("lesbian punk capital of the Pacific Northwest, you fucking prick!").

I've never heard a Shellac cover band that quite captures the subtleties required, but SHE-LACK does. I mean, in "Doris," the womynn sing "It folds out across the city," as if they just knew Steve preferred it this way. Now that's subtle!

If you visit their website, http://www.she-lack.com, they describe themselves as:

A lesbian Shellac cover band that takes the epitome of typical male misogynistic spew from the mouth of punk's most typical angry male (Steve "small man complex" Albini) and turns it in on itself -- adding a gay club friendly dance element -- to create a pro-femme platform sound that is functional both in the club and in the private mind garden. SHE-LACK puts the "grr!" back in Riot Grrl!

SHE-LACK is working on their first studio release, 1,000 Hers, recorded entirely in the "Pro-Tools domain."

matthew (from Crap/Not Crap "periodicals: newspapers" fame) sent me this quote from Steve that appeared in the last issue of Jane, which seems to contradict some of his recent statements on the board:

SHE-LACK makes music for its own sake and to serve a function. I normally find myself unmoved by functional music (I noticed this when disco as a genre came into being), but these chicks really rock!"

(Care to backpedal your views on anything else, Mr. Hybris & Snobbery?)


The best thing about the SHE-LACK live show is the "Question & Answer" period (they do this cool thing where they stop playing and just, you know, connect with the crowd; it's amazing, really), cause they've been known to kick a ton of knowledge on stuff like reproductive rights, transgender issues, and the mystique of lesbian porn. Their shirts are pretty awesome as well. (Oh, and Fluss usually spins an hour or so of gay-techno after the show -- definitely worth sticking around for!)

My only criticism of the SHE-LACK movement (it's amazing how they absolutely nailed the drum sound though, don't you think? Anyone know what mics they used?) is that they transgender all the lyrics. I can't wholeheartedly sing "Kill her! Just fucking kill HER!" with the same reckless abandon. But lesbians need something to believe in, so I make this sacrifice in the name of equality.

In the "made up band names" thread, Bradley R. Weissenberger recently proclaimed, "I would totally go see this band if they were real." Well, good news Brad, they are!

(File Under: DYKE MAFIA)

Mr. Spritzker's Afterschool "Safe at Home" Jam Band

Band members (L to R):

Kenny Showalter - standup bass, posture
Joseph Garrison - saxophone, occasionally shaves
Aaron Finton - saxophone, Bonaduce
Charles Gladworthy - saxophone, pituitary gland
Osborne Donovan - photographically and existentially obscured
Mr. Edgar Spritzker - guitar, vocals, mysterious lump in back pants pocket
Tyler Radley - African-American (for purposes of financial aid applications)

Mr. Spritzker's Afterschool "Safe at Home" Jam Band features an annually rotating lineup of Wentworth Middle School's brightest musical lights. Fronted by Edgar "Spritz" Spritzker, Wentworth Middle School Associate Principal and Domestic Skills Advisor, the "Safe at Home" Jam Band, a Rockingham NC institution for the past two years, has been described by critics as "young", "vulnerable" and "sexually confused".

A former member of seminal Charlotte folk rolk quartet "The Young Men", Spritzker eventually stepped out of the spotlight to pursue his degree in Behavioral Psychology from the University of North Carolina and his master's degrees in Theology and Education from Duke University.

Landing at Wentworth, Spritzker saw a hole in the community's performing arts offerings to young male teenagers. "You see it all the time, what with young kids drinking alcohol and taking pot," says Spritzker. "I thought that we needed to buck up and provide today's young people with a way to extend themselves." After receiving $500 in seed money from the Rockingham County Board of Eduation, and after a summer-long fundraising campaign (thank you, carnival volunteers!), Spritzker hand selected his group of young male musicians.

Spritzker describes the current lineup as "real whizzes". "These kids, they can do anything I suggest -- whatever crazy business I dream up. Heck, you ought to hear our crackerjack version of Bananarama's 'I Want Candy'!" says Spritzker.

Playing throughout the Rockingham County "teen scene" (including a memorable performance at Milkshake McDougal's, pictured above), the "Safe at Home" Jam Band has "really gotten its name out there," says Spritzker. "Hollywood, here we come!"

While Spritzker sees a bright future for the "Safe at Home" Jam Band, he intends to keep the focus solely on camaraderie and "PMA -- positive mental attitude!". "It's a heck of a lot of fun, not only with the practices and the gigs, but with the pool parties, campouts and slumber parties as well. It's my way to really give something to these young men," says Spritzker. "And I don't mind saying that I really hope that these young men find an outlet in me."

Edgar Spritzker is single with no children.

Bradley R. Weissenberger wrote:

-Cap
-Page Hamilton's younger brother.
-mainly rock but with a lot solos due to his 48 effects pedals.
-they recently supported Nickelback but after 1 week of touring Cap's drummer stole Nickelback's singer's stetson hat. They got kicked out of the tour.

Bambouche wrote:

SHE-LACK

(From L-R)
Stacy Alnibi: guitar, vox
Barbara Westone: bass, background femme vox
Tara Traynor: batteria, open-mouthed sex appeal
Fluss: Transgender DJ, aka "catnip"
Heather: moog, arp, synths, filmmaker


I'm surprised this band hasn't been discussed here yet? SHE-LACK is -- yes, you guessed it -- an all lesbian Shellac cover band from Eugene, Oregon ("lesbian punk capital of the Pacific Northwest, you fucking prick!").

I've never heard a Shellac cover band that quite captures the subtleties required, but SHE-LACK does. I mean, in "Doris," the womynn sing "It folds out across the city," as if they just knew Steve preferred it this way. Now that's subtle!

If you visit their website, http://www.she-lack.com, they describe themselves as:

A lesbian Shellac cover band that takes the epitome of typical male misogynistic spew from the mouth of punk's most typical angry male (Steve "small man complex" Albini) and turns it in on itself -- adding a gay club friendly dance element -- to create a pro-femme platform sound that is functional both in the club and in the private mind garden. SHE-LACK puts the "grr!" back in Riot Grrl!

SHE-LACK is working on their first studio release, 1,000 Hers, recorded entirely in the "Pro-Tools domain."

matthew (from Crap/Not Crap "periodicals: newspapers" fame) sent me this quote from Steve that appeared in the last issue of Jane, which seems to contradict some of his recent statements on the board:

SHE-LACK makes music for its own sake and to serve a function. I normally find myself unmoved by functional music (I noticed this when disco as a genre came into being), but these chicks really rock!"

(Care to backpedal your views on anything else, Mr. Hybris & Snobbery?)


The best thing about the SHE-LACK live show is the "Question & Answer" period (they do this cool thing where they stop playing and just, you know, connect with the crowd; it's amazing, really), cause they've been known to kick a ton of knowledge on stuff like reproductive rights, transgender issues, and the mystique of lesbian porn. Their shirts are pretty awesome as well. (Oh, and Fluss usually spins an hour or so of gay-techno after the show -- definitely worth sticking around for!)

My only criticism of the SHE-LACK movement (it's amazing how they absolutely nailed the drum sound though, don't you think? Anyone know what mics they used?) is that they transgender all the lyrics. I can't wholeheartedly sing "Kill her! Just fucking kill HER!" with the same reckless abandon. But lesbians need something to believe in, so I make this sacrifice in the name of equality.

In the "made up band names" thread, Bradley R. Weissenberger recently proclaimed, "I would totally go see this band if they were real." Well, good news Brad, they are!

(File Under: DYKE MAFIA)

B
E
S
T

P
O
S
T

O
F

2
0
0
5

Bradley R. Weissenberger wrote:"It's a heck of a lot of fun, not only with the practices and the gigs, but with the pool parties, campouts and slumber parties as well. It's my way to really give something to these young men," says Spritzker. "And I don't mind saying that I really hope that these young men find an outlet in me."

Edgar Spritzker is single with no children.

The picture won't load, but the ending really paints a picture. Genius!



I offer these, to be defined collectively ("me and my crew, WHUT?") or individually ("I keep a mirror in my pocket and I practive looking hard."):

...