My first thought when seeing this thread was Ozzy's rhyming of "masses" with "masses" but this is just too good of a song to fuck with.

Biznono points out in his Code For Shit Styx's "Plexiglass Toilet."

Styx wrote:Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah

A boy of 5 stands close to the toilet
Holds the lid up with one hand
Won't let go the lid for fear that
On his banana it will land
Don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah

Boy goes up he eats the enchilada
With the sauce that burns the heart
Family comes to visit family
momma says don't belch and fart

Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah

Everybody Sing!

Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah

Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah

[quote="Arson Smith"][quote="rzs"]"Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Greenday...[/quote]
Oh shit yes.

I haven't thought of this one in a while (fortunately), but I can recall even the very very first time a radio played it at me... my first thought was that perhaps it was intentionally cut & pasted together from all the crappiest rock-n-roll lyrics cliches ever... but it wasn't a joke song (right?) so there is really no excuse for these lyrics THAT TRY SO HARD TO SAY NOTHING

- walking a "lonely road"

- road/street/boulevard/whatever of (broken) dreams

- personification of 'shadow' and 'city' (shadow walks, city sleeps)

- being 'on the border line' of something or another

blech.[/quote]



I know...It is so cliched that the first time I heard it, I couldn't believe my ears. You can intuit many of the lyrics word for word prior to when they are sung because they are pre-figured in the cliched line before. The cliches you touched on are burned into our brains from years of listening to other songs with horrible lyrics.
In a way, it could be argued that a song that is pre-figured in your brain in this way is a work of psychological genius. I mean, didn't Throbbing Gristle spend a career attempting to play with your mind in such ways. They must be pissed to see Greenday overtake them in realm of alternative uses of recorded sound and psycho-social commentary within the work of art. Or maybe it is all just a case of media over-saturation. It is 3:30 am and I can't tell the difference.

Doesn't that Greenday album also contain a cover of Semisonic's "Closing Time?" Now those are some piss poor lyrics too. I still remember how pop culture worked as genuine mind bending philosophy for some people when struggling to contemplate the line in that song that talks about "every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." That is like, uh, so deep. All you can do is sigh.

[quote="Lemuel Gulliver"]My first thought when seeing this thread was Ozzy's rhyming of "masses" with "masses" but this is just too good of a song to fuck with.

Biznono points out in his Code For Shit Styx's "Plexiglass Toilet."

[quote="Styx"]
Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah

A boy of 5 stands close to the toilet
Holds the lid up with one hand
Won't let go the lid for fear that
On his banana it will land
Don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah

Boy goes up he eats the enchilada
With the sauce that burns the heart
Family comes to visit family
momma says don't belch and fart

Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah

Everybody Sing!

Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah

Don't sit on the Plexiglas toilet
Said the momma to her son
Wipe the butt clean with the paper
Make it nice for everyone
But don't sit down on the Plexiglas toilet yeah [/quote][/quote]



Did someone lose a lawsuit vs. a Plexiglass manufacturer or something? Did a judge order that the band had to mention the word "Plexiglass" a specific number of times as a form of remuneration and the band wanted to comply but also slap them in the face at the same time?
Otherwise, I am left speechless at these lyrics.

Red Hot Chili Peppers- "Give It Away"

"What I've got you've gotta give it to your momma
you do a little dance and then you drink a little wata.."

Somehow, this was one of the most popular songs of the past decade.


John Mayer's "Your Body Is A Wonderland" has such cringe inspiring lyrics that I can't even bring myself to quote them. That guy has guts to sing such a pile of vomit on television. Isn't he having a pillowfight with a girl in the video also?

Edward Ball's 'Love Is Blue'
(I think this is a fairly obscure song - but well worth including in this thread)

So she knows, we've been out of style
for a while,
Is there nothing I can do to make you smile?
to make you smile (uh huh)?
It doesn't matter what you say, yeah,
'cos no-one could love you like I do,
The way I do, the way I do.

Love is blue, Baby blue is the colour of our love.
Love is blue, Baby blue is the colour of our love.

Lindsay's all right, Lindsay's all right.
She's a natural born angel, she just looks out of sight.
Oh yeah, she's just out of sight.

How does it feel to feel the way you do today?

Love is blue, Baby blue is the colour of our love.
Love is blue, Baby blue is the colour of our love.
Love is blue, Baby blue is the colour of our love.
Love is blue, Baby blue is the colour of our love.
Love is blue, Baby blue is the colour of our love.
Love is blue, Baby blue is the colour of our love.
Love is blue, Baby blue is the colour of our love.
Love is blue, Baby blue is the colour of our love.


Can you spot the point in the song writing process where he ran out of ideas?

"I need a second verse, but I can't think of anything!! I know, I'll rehash some Bowie! Should I write a third verse? Nah, If I just repeat the chorus eight times that will be the same number of words as if I'd written a verse, but I won't actually have to think up anything new!"

And lastly - "How does it feel to feel the way you do today"? Is anyone else feeling that?

rzs wrote:

Arson Smith wrote:

rzs wrote:"Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Greenday...

Oh shit yes.

I haven't thought of this one in a while (fortunately), but I can recall even the very very first time a radio played it at me... my first thought was that perhaps it was intentionally cut & pasted together from all the crappiest rock-n-roll lyrics cliches ever... but it wasn't a joke song (right?) so there is really no excuse for these lyrics THAT TRY SO HARD TO SAY NOTHING

- walking a "lonely road"

- road/street/boulevard/whatever of (broken) dreams

- personification of 'shadow' and 'city' (shadow walks, city sleeps)

- being 'on the border line' of something or another

blech.

I know...It is so cliched that the first time I heard it, I couldn't believe my ears. You can intuit many of the lyrics word for word prior to when they are sung because they are pre-figured in the cliched line before. The cliches you touched on are burned into our brains from years of listening to other songs with horrible lyrics.

YES - thank you for putting that so succinctly - the observation was in my brain, but I didn't know how to get it out...

I guess the only other thing to take into account is that things like "rock cliches" are only such painful cliches to us that have a larger body of experience than say pre-teens who are just now getting into "rock bands" (such generic use of 'rock', I know).

Not that long ago I did take my girlfriend to go see Green Day here in St. Louis... the venue (Savvis hockey rink) was completely overrun with 13-14 year olds (and their attendant parents/chaperones) with the ratio probably being 2/3 female to 1/3 male.

I was maybe a little bit surprised at how many of the audience where in that age range... and then it all kind of came together in my head. This Green Day band, they are geniuses, in that they have long ago stopped writing songs for dudes their own age. I think the 'Boulevard Of Broken Dreams' song is engineered precisely to appeal to the young crowd, because they don't have enough history in them to been worn out on the cliches.

People die everyday, and people are born every day. I guess to be a successfully commercial artist, you take this into account and don't worry about a certain fanbase that is growing with you and knows its past...

I guess what I'm trying to say is that if you write to a 14-year old angst level, then congratulations, because every single day there are plenty of kids who are just turning 14.

(and somehow this brings me back to thinking of this hoo-ha about the claim that NickelBack is ripping off fans by releasing new songs that sound just like their previous ones... but this would be based on the assumption that anybody has the attention-span to follow NickelBack's career/'journey as artists'/whatever... I think NickelBack themselves know, and are banking on the fact, that whoever bought their album from 2003 can't be bothered to buy their latest album, and conversely a new fan buying the latest can't be arsed to buy up the back-catalog... I think they are banking on the fact that they will appeal to no-attention-span-having peoples, and they can just retread all they want - this little blip of media attention will pass and they can still laugh all the way to the banc...)

Has anyone mentioned Limp Bizkit's jaw-droppingly awful "Hot Dog" yet? Where Durst recites the chorus from NIN's "Closer" as the chorus and spends the rest of the time counting up different variations of "Fuck"?

ginandtacos.com wrote:While I find this thread both entertaining and valid, I think it's fair to note that just about any lyrics to any song tend to look stupid out of the context of the song.

Pick any band you like, write their lyrics down, and look at how stupid they look in a vacuum.

Very true. Thanks for pointing this out.

I now bring you, for your viewing pleasure, the compleat lyrics to Limp Bizkit's "Hot Dog":

Ladies and gentlement!
Introducing the Chocolate Starfish!
and the Hotdog Flavored Water
Bring it on!
Get the fuck up!
Yeah!
Check, one, two

Listen up, listen up!
Here we go
It's a fucked world
We're a fucked up place
Everybody's judged by their fucked up face
Fucked up dreams
Fucked up life
A fucked up kid
With a fucked up knife
Fucked up moms
And fucked dads
It's a fucked up a cop
With a fucked up badge
Fucked up job
With fucked up pay
And a fucked up boss
Is a fucked up pain
Fucked up press
And fucked up lies
Well, Lethal's in the back
With the fact of the fires

Hey, it's on
Everybody knows this song
Hey, it's on
Everybody knows this song

Ain't it a shame that you can't say "Fuck"
Fuck's just a word
And it's all fucked up
Like a fucked up punk
With a fucked up mouth
A nine ninch nail
I'll get knocked the fuck out
Fucked up babes
Who fucked up sex
Fake ass titties
On a fucked up chest
We're all fucked up
So whatcha wanna do?
We fucked up me
And fucked up you

You wanna fuck me like an animal
You'd like to burn me on the inside
You like to think that I'm a perfect drug
Just know that nothing you do
Will bring you closer to me

Ain't life a bitch?
A fucked up bitch
A fucked up soul with a fucked up stitch
A fucked up head
Is a fucked up shame
Swinging on my nuts
Is a fucked up game
Jealousy filling up a fucked up mind
It's real fucked up
Like a fucked up crime
If I say "Fuck", two more times
That's 46 "Fucks" in this fucked up rhyme

It's on
Everybody knows this song
Hey, it's on
Everybody knows this song

You wanna fuck me like an animal
You'd like to burn me on the inside
You like to think that I'm a perfect drug
Just know that nothing you do
Will bring you closer to me

Hooo Haaa Haaaw!
Listen up baby
You.. can't.. bring.. me.. (bring me).. down
I.. don't.. think.. so
I don't want some
You.. better.. check.. your.. (check it).. self
Before.. you.. wreck.. your.. self
This.. my.. star.. fish
My.. choco.. late.. Starfish.. punk
This.. my.. star.. fish
My.. choco.. late.. Starfish.. punk

You wanna fuck me like an animal
You'd like to burn me on the inside
You like to think that I'm a perfect drug
Just know that nothing you do
Will bring you closer to me



remember, people paid money for this in 1999, haw-haw-haw!

[quote="SecondEdition"]Has anyone mentioned Limp Bizkit's jaw-droppingly awful "Hot Dog" yet? Where Durst recites the chorus from NIN's "Closer" [i]as[/i] the chorus and spends the rest of the time counting up different variations of "Fuck"?[/quote]

That whole album truly SUCKS!!!!
I sometimes love to listen to music I know is horrible, because, as others have stated previously on this thread, it can be hilarious. Whether it is Journey's ridiculous "Wheel In the Sky" keeps turning idea, Tim McGraw's horrific discussion of the paths that lead us to "Drugs or Jesus" song or Chevelle's "I can't feel my chest!!" exlamation in the dire "Send the Pain Below," some of the greatest comedy for people who love music can be listening to things that are perfectly cliched, ridiculous or just hilariously bad in their earnestness.
That being said, some works of art (I'm using this loosely here) reach a special plateau in which they are so undeniably bad, no fun can be had listening to them. You just want to turn them off, without wasting another second of your life.
Therefore, you spoke the truth when referencing Bizkit's "Hot Dog." I remember driving with my brother from St Pete, FL to Ft Lauderdale in an old Buick Le Sabre, that smelled like insecticide which only had a tape player (the radio mysteriously did not work). My brother's then girlfriend had left him with "Hot Dog" and I said, "this 5 hour drive could use some music, I know it will be bad, but let's just listen and laugh." I then regaled him with my theory of hilarious bad music listed above, to which he replied, this album is worse than that. He just drops the F-bomb and whines like a spoilt kid the whole time. After a few further warnings, I persisted and we listened...for all of about 2 or 3 minutes, at which point I had to turn it off and admit that he was right.
Oh yeah, did I mention how much I think this album truly does suck?