brian wrote:rank:
come on feel the noise
come on eileen
come on come on

This rank is simple although it requires five responses:

1. Come On Come On: Over the course of their first 4 records, Cheap Trick did little wrong. This song is among the many highlights of those records. A landmark pop song, in my book.

2. Cum On Feel The Noize (1973): The Slade original is a good slab of dunderheaded fun. If arena rock has to exist, then this is the way it should be. Slade also scores points for working the word "cum" into the title. However, if the mark of a group is its influence on later generations, Slade seriously suffers (see nos. 4 and 5, below).

3. Come On Eileen: The only way a song could be this enjoyably bad is if the folks who wrote and recorded it were completely inept, yet absolutely genuine and likeable folks. Somehow the winning personality of Dexy's Midnight Runners overcomes their hack art. It's almost like a Danielson Famile recording if Brother Daniel was retarded and talentless.

4. Cum On Feel The Noize (1983): Big, dumb and completely lacking any balls or goofy charm. Quiet Riot was a band of absolute fools with no redeeming qualities or moments. Music by which to practice twirling drumsticks.

5. Cum On Feel The Noize (1996): Oasis makes me long for the sublime and nuanced work of Quiet Riot.

Mr. Chimp wrote:
Franks 'n' Beans
Frank Burns
What Burns Never Returns


Aeeiyow!! My frank, s-s-she burns!

1. Frank Burns, for being an utter dick and not knowing/caring.

2. What Burns Never Returns for garnering the review quote: "Don Caballero takes the term "math rock" to new levels with its polyrhythmic assault interspersed with moments of singular grace and delicacy."

3. Franks 'n' Beans, for making many a childhhod camping trip a suffocating and nauseous experience.


Thank sir you please to ranking:

Campbell's Cream of Mushroom Soup
Soupy Sales
Sales at Guitar Center

campbell's cream of mushroom- with milk or water, the essential meal for a poor musician

soupy sales- N/A

sales at guitar center- i could give fuck all

please to ranking:

spike jonze
norah jones
spike lee

spike lee. he has not made movie to interest me in a little while, and he has knee-jerk response to exploration of black culture by anyone who is white. still, he has made the 'she's gotta have it' and the 'do the right thing' and the 'he got game' and the very much underrated 'crooklyn.' and other movies that i think are pretty good, like 'jungles fevers' and 'the more better is blues.' this is more good movies than spike jonze.

spike jonze, for this 'being john malkovich,' she is some kind of great movie that i think i would like even today, a few years after it came out. she is so funny to me. and 'adaptation,' i like this movie very very much. these movies, they were made for people like me, and people like me (like me) like them. if he makes maybe one more movie i like like this, he is better to me than spike lee!

norah jones, she is ok beige soul singer. she's ok.
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the pillsbury dough boy
h.r. pufnstuf
h.r., the singer for bad brains

how's abouta these three:

Franz Kafka
Francis Ford Copola
Black Francis

Chew this one up real good...

frank coppola, b/c i love the godfather movies (I and II) and the _apocalypse now_

franz kafka, for tho my superego says he should be no. one, i think to myself he is such a bummer of a storyteller, and he has called making love (the beautiful physical act of love) 'the punishment for being together,' which is insane and crazy. but they are pretty good stories!!!!!!

black frank, b/c i don't care so much

- H.R., - The Bad Brains make me feel all weird inside:
happiness when rasta playa punk music
sadness when rasta playa reggae.

I and I agree.


- H.R. Pufnstuf - he make me feel all weird inside:
as clowns are anathema for some
the decades old fear, she resurfaces.

It is not for me.


the Pillsbury Dough Boy - he make me feel all weird inside:
is it the tasty hydrogenated fat particles that settle at the waist?
or that he sells out his own pastry relatives

for a nominal fee. Tee Hee.


That one, she's a toughy. on the fence for all three.

Thusly, please to rank the following tri-item sets:

Ambivalence
Ambience
Ambien (R)

plus:

Vice Magazine
"Presidents of Vice" by Nation of Ulysses
Miami Vice

h.r., bad brains singer- as he is crazy man and what like his vocal stylings

pillsbury dough boy- for my uncle works for pillsbury, is good friends with him and is a gourmet chef. have not tried their 'meals' but i like their various pastry treats--if you poke me in the belly, i'd laugh

h.r. pufnstuf- this is the wrong generation--but he is funny children's character?
------------------
franz kafka- for a brilliant author, and was also from one of europe's most beautiful cities, prague, my motherland

francis ford coppola- for 'apocalypse now' 'the conversation' 'godfather pts. 1 & 2' and 3 wasn't that bad, except for sofia's hideous death scene ('Dad?'--clunk) now is resting on his laurels, making wine and exec producing real classics like 'jeeper's creepers'

black francis- at one time, idolized this man, (capable of sounding like a whiny girl and a barking dog at the flip of a coin) but what happened to his solo career?
========================
please for ranking:

paul reubens
the reuben sandwich
paul newman

it's very beautiful, the fake italian

it's so great it was not explained to anyone, but instead was done very naturally

ok so

paul newman, for he is handsome and honorable man, with same wife for so many years, and no jacking off in public place that we know about. and he is fine actor including his best role as reggie dunlop in the excellent film _slap shot_. so many beautiful lines. i have nothing bad to say about this man, who is almost eighty years old!

paul reubens, for pee wee herman was very funny and weird. but he has no food line that includes good pretzels. and he is some kind of creepy jack off artist.

the reuben is a good sandwich, but i have to pick people over a sandwich
==================
rank:

evel knievel
danzig
henry rollins

evil knievel- for he is a kind of dangerous, crazy man who was first before thelma (and louise) to scale the grand canyon

danzig- for they are a kind of dangerous, scary group that I have never heard in my young age, only johnny cash cover of 'thirteen' which i like

henry rollins- for he is a kind of a musical drill instructor, dangerous, silly man who happen to appear on just about every VH1 Behind the Music special and what must have the last word on any 'punk 'artist to give credibility to said programs. his real last name is also a funny cartoon pussy.

please a-be ranking:

billy bob thornton
bonnie 'prince' billy
bill clinton