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Re: Premier Mental Health Mutual Support Thread
Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2022 8:42 pm
by Frankie99
When I was looking, I didn't really look for a specific event that was the trigger, but more the symptoms - anxiety, worry, PTSD, etc for my first therapist. I got lucky and found someone in my neighborhood that did that, and that I got on with well.
Re: Premier Mental Health Mutual Support Thread
Posted: Thu Oct 06, 2022 10:29 pm
by eephus
TylerDeadPine wrote:
eephus wrote: Thu Sep 01, 2022 10:55 pm
Eventually went to talk therapy after my brain could process shit again, and that worked wonders, particularly EMDR. I'll always be grateful for finding a great shrink.
I'm having a really hard time finding one that covers what I'm looking for (cancer/grief support), that is in my network, that is accepting patients
How did you guys go about finding someone good?
I asked around, and she was recommended to me by a friend. I've since recommended her to other people. If you are in Chicago, let me know, and I'll recommend her to you. Or actually, even if you're not--she's been all telehealth since COVID started. It's the same therapy, just from your couch instead of hers.
I think not kidding yourself about your condition and just talking to people in general terms fairly openly is valuable in many many many ways.
One of the main ways is that other people will open up to you, and you'll find in your struggles a common humanity--emphasis on "common," as in there's nothing special about it. It's just part of being a person. And people will want to help you, and you'll find a good shrink in time, among many other things.
Re: Premier Mental Health Mutual Support Thread
Posted: Fri Oct 07, 2022 1:05 am
by Mickey242
Guys just please, If one med dosen't work don't give up. Therapy helps I swear. Good luck to all of you! xooxxoox
Re: Premier Mental Health Mutual Support Thread
Posted: Fri Oct 07, 2022 1:19 am
by ChudFusk
Mickey242 wrote: Fri Oct 07, 2022 1:05 am
Guys just please, If one med dosen't work don't give up. Therapy helps I swear. Good luck to all of you! xooxxoox
And therapy PLUS meds works best of all. Psych Rx are meant to help you function enough to get to the point where psychotherapy can work. I see so many people go on and off Rx, and when I ask what their therapist said about changing Rx the frequent answer is "I'm between therapists." Seeing a psychiatrist (sorry but
yuchhh based on my professional experience) for half an hour once a month does not count as therapy. Restoring and maintaining one's mental health takes a whole team, and there's nothing to be ashamed of about that.
Re: Premier Mental Health Mutual Support Thread
Posted: Fri Oct 07, 2022 1:48 am
by A_Man_Who_Tries
ChudFusk wrote: Thu Oct 06, 2022 6:54 pm
Is there anything we can do to help?
Good of you to offer. I don't think so*. I still have two little avenues to explore, one of which is a real hail Mary I'll be dealing with by appointment on Wednesday.
The great frustration is that the whole situation is administrative, and I am completely on the side of the backlog - my case likely won't be handled before my ninety days are up, as they're dealing with a lot of traffic what with the Ukraine situation. I'm glad I live somewhere that does that, it's just a real kick in the teeth that I'm amongst the collateral damage.
* The Golden Exception: If you're film producers, come look at my slate and help me help myself (whilst earning into the bargain).
Re: Premier Mental Health Mutual Support Thread
Posted: Fri Oct 07, 2022 11:01 am
by TylerDeadPine
eephus wrote: Thu Oct 06, 2022 10:29 pm
TylerDeadPine wrote:
eephus wrote: Thu Sep 01, 2022 10:55 pm
Eventually went to talk therapy after my brain could process shit again, and that worked wonders, particularly EMDR. I'll always be grateful for finding a great shrink.
I'm having a really hard time finding one that covers what I'm looking for (cancer/grief support), that is in my network, that is accepting patients
How did you guys go about finding someone good?
I asked around, and she was recommended to me by a friend. I've since recommended her to other people. If you are in Chicago, let me know, and I'll recommend her to you. Or actually, even if you're not--she's been all telehealth since COVID started. It's the same therapy, just from your couch instead of hers.
I think not kidding yourself about your condition and just talking to people in general terms fairly openly is valuable in many many many ways.
One of the main ways is that other people will open up to you, and you'll find in your struggles a common humanity--emphasis on "common," as in there's nothing special about it. It's just part of being a person. And people will want to help you, and you'll find a good shrink in time, among many other things.
Thanks a ton - yeah if you can fire me off her name that would be great I'll see if it's a good fit
I have tried therapy a couple times and didn't feel as if it was getting anywhere, but I just don't think I had the right person and/or I wasn't at a point where I WANTED it to work.
Re: Premier Mental Health Mutual Support Thread
Posted: Wed Oct 26, 2022 8:35 am
by bigc
bigc wrote: Tue Sep 20, 2022 4:00 pm
Having one of the most difficult weeks I can recall.
My wife told me last week that she is profoundly unhappy in our marriage of 20 years, thanks in large part to substance abuse issues I am only recently aware of. For the last 7 or so years I've been working for myself, which has given me quite a bit of freedom to do what I want when I want. That has meant spending more and more time drinking with pals (and alone), smoking too much weed, and essentially ignoring her needs more and more as time has passed. The pandemic kicked that dynamic into high gear. When she shared her feelings with me, I was already planning on 'taking a break' from drinking after a particularly decadent weekend. I spent the next 3-4 days with what turned out to be alcohol withdrawal. Doing the math, I have not gone a day without 2-3 drinks since January 2022, and only then because of a dry January challenge. She is now in another city dealing with family matters, and I am home, alone, hanging onto any shred of hope that I have for saving our marriage. All I can think are hopeless, negative thoughts.
Not drinking/smoking has been quite easy. The withdrawal process really scared the shit out of me, and once I felt sober, I realized that I have been in some sort of listless, absent fog for years now. I feel positive about sobriety, but terrible about how I have made her feel. I feel like I've abandoned her.
The uncertainty is starting to have physical effects. My heart races, my stomach hurts, and I can't sleep.
We have started couples therapy, but she is telling me that our relationship is too far gone, and that she now feels like I am a platonic friend, not her husband or lover, and has little faith that she can rekindle those feelings. Last night, she started sleeping in our extra bedroom because she feels like sleeping in the same bed is dishonest. I can't afford individual therapy on top of couples therapy. My stomach is in knots, I sleep only intermittently between horrific nightmares, and have mostly lost my appetite. Constantly on the verge of tears. I can't imagine that this will end. As an introverted man who works for himself, I've made her the center of my world, and I don't know how to proceed without that, and without the belief that some joys overcome all suffering.
It feels silly to post this in the context of other people's more serious issues, but this is really my only outlet at the moment. All of my friends are her friends, so I really have nowhere to turn.
Re: Premier Mental Health Mutual Support Thread
Posted: Wed Oct 26, 2022 8:59 am
by A_Man_Who_Tries
bigc wrote: Wed Oct 26, 2022 8:35 am
All of my friends are her friends, so I really have nowhere to turn.
This in particular is a huge hoof in the nuts, but it's one you can focus on changing right now. Haul yourself out to some meets where you can socialise amongst other stuff - I have found board games to be a huge blessing where this is concerned. Get yourself a little circle or two, not necessarily to spill your guts, but just to be able to point at parts of your calendar and say, "Time with 'my' people".
Re: Premier Mental Health Mutual Support Thread
Posted: Wed Oct 26, 2022 10:20 am
by bigc
A_Man_Who_Tries wrote: Wed Oct 26, 2022 8:59 am
This in particular is a huge hoof in the nuts, but it's one you can focus on changing right now. Haul yourself out to some meets where you can socialise amongst other stuff - I have found board games to be a huge blessing where this is concerned. Get yourself a little circle or two, not necessarily to spill your guts, but just to be able to point at parts of your calendar and say, "Time with 'my' people".
It's really just that we share pretty much all the same friends, and she's the only one who has friends of her own in other areas. Mostly because she has other areas. I don't even know where to begin on finding get togethers, or other people, really.
Re: Premier Mental Health Mutual Support Thread
Posted: Wed Oct 26, 2022 12:15 pm
by twelvepoint
FM bigc, I don't have a lot to say other than you are going through a hell of a lot. Shit will get better, and don't feel guilty for either reaching out, or allowing yourself to feel the way you feel.