Premier Rock Forum

Some of you may remember the time a couple of us teamed up to troll an idiot on the ATL craigslist:

The original Craigslist ad:
Super Pimp Ass Ampeg Rig - $1 (Athens, GA)
Not sure I want to sell this rig... I have no real need to. Plus, this is my favorite of all the bass rigs I've
ever played on. I'm just looking to see what kind of serious offers i can get or what others have to
trade. Includes SVT-VR (MSRP $2800, MF $2000), SVT 810-AV (MSRP $1400, MF 1100), and not
pictured is the ATA road case that was used on the road by the bands Mother's Finest and then Black
Crowes. Road cases are expensive as well usually running around $700 brand new for an 810 case.
Also have a basshanger (which is cool, and you should check out if you don't know what it is). So If
you have something worthwhile that I may interested in trading with, let me know But I'm NOT looking
to downsize : ) Also send me serious cash offers, If you make me one I can't refuse I'll have no choice
but to sell it. If i don't hear anything by the end of the weekend, I'm going to take the post down. Like I
said, I don't really need or want to sell this. Just curious. Email or Call 478-396-6140. *Bass pictured
is not for sale!

Our first response:
I have about $2k (€1,900.00 EUR £1799.00 GBP) in the bank right now, and I can get it out in crisp,
bright green hundred dollar bills. If you've ever seen them YOU KNOW HOW KICK ASS THEY ARE.
But, I'm not sure if I want to spend them. I mean, I don't really need a bass rig. I also have a 1972
Dodge Dart, and those are REALLY EXPENSIVE. If you don't know what it is, you should check it out
because they're way fucking cool. If you make me an offer I can't refuse, then I guess I'll have to give
you some of my money. I AM NOT LOOKING TO BUY A BASS RIG. But I don't know. I'll think about it
over the weekend.

He wrote back:
Great. Well I'm not really looking to sell a bass rig either! I just want to see what kind of offers I bring
in in case someone makes me an offer I can't refuse. I'm only considering a change up. I can,
however, tell you that $2000 is not near enough to make me want to sell. Look at MSRP on the cab
and head, then add in the cost of a road case and $2000 is about half that. I wouldn't get rid of all of
this for 50% of original cost. Thanks for the offer, though. I am however a huge car buff.... so what
model '72 Dart do you have and can you tell me a little more about it? Thanks again. -Dany

We responded:
It's a '72 dart demon w/ h code 340, jet black with blackout rims.
8 3/4 rear
bucket seats, console
tuff wheel
rear wing
rally gauges
11,200 orig miles
It was an arizona car for 33 years, A friend of my father's son bought it, then the son went to vietnam,
got killed.

The car sat in garage, but my dad's buddy took it to car shows a couple of times.
I made investment in this guy's ostrich farm, which of course failed, so I took ownership of car,
pornography collection, collection of furniture from McLean House in Appomattox.
I am trying to assemble every piece of furniture from McLean House in one place as part of civil war
theme park we are building across the street from Stone Mountain. The guy that runs Stone Mountain
Park, Roger Ledbetter, fucked my girlfriend in high school and what I'd really like to do is to ruin his
life. A huge part of the constituency of Stone Mountain, as you may know, is the Royal Knights of the
Ku Klux Klan. They leave their snake handling churches and put aside their cousin fucking ways and
come to Stone Mountain for their big convention every year. These mouthbreathers will eat up
anything Civil War Related, so I'm creating a competing attraction right in Ledbetter's back yard.
The Dart runs like a bat out of hell, with 1/4 mile times that would make your head spin. We're getting
down near 11.23 on cold, dry track. However, I need to get this park thing kicked in the ass.... I would
trade the rig for the car straight up, but only after you tell me your thoughts on the theme park. Your
advice is more valuable to me than the Dart because I think you're the kind of customer I am looking
to attract.
-Paul

He responded to that:
Paul, my friend,
I don't know you, but i'll help you out in any way that I can! Hahaha, you're on the right track. Never
been a big fan of Stone Mountain, so by all means fuck their shit up buddy. I actually went to their big
Confederate party and was absolutely amused by the Charlie Daniels scored Robert E Lee laser
show. I don't think I'll ever forget that. Now being a History student/buff, I absolutely love the idea of
trying to get the entire McLean collection together. Not only would that be a selling point for your
theme park, it'd be an enormous waiting investment for some rich Americana Antiquities buyer. So
good luck with that! If you have any pictures of the dart, I'd love to see them. This is a trade I hadn't
thought about, but may be willing to do. Let me think on it. I'd have to do some thorough checking out
of the car first before I could make any deal. I'll keep in touch, and let you know something here soon.
Thanks again. -Danny

So, We wrote him again:
The car is in our warehouse in Edgewood in East Atlanta. It's kind of a super sketchy area, so I'd
need to go ahead and corral the dogs before you went over there, and that takes about 90 minutes.
All of the ostriches from the ranch are also there, but they won't give us any trouble. We killed and
butchered one right out there in the open one day and it's funny, those fucking birds are a lot smarter
than they let on. (there's a lot of open space around the warehouse, with grass and shit. I pay a boy
to go feed the animals. None of the animals are near the car.)
Blackout wheels w/ slicks are on it now.
If you can meet me on Sunday, you should bring the amp.
I'm glad to hear you're a student of The Event... perhaps you could scribble down 5,000 words or so
on what your vision for the theme park would be considering we'd have to accommodate the McLean
collection, waterslides, a large glass case containing all of John Brown's Pottawatomie
correspondence, and a Sherman's March rollercoaster in one experience.
Do you think a large flaming Atlanta, a la the scene right before the intermission of 'Gone With The
Wind' would be too much for the rollercoaster?
-paul

he responded:
I honestly don't know that I'll be able to pull it off for this sunday. it's an act of congress getting this
thing around. thanks for the picture. can you tell me more about what's under the hood on this car? if i
get some free time this weekend, i'll scribble down a great press write up for the park. Got a name for
it yet? And no, there is nothing wrong with a burning Atlanta rollercoaster finale'.
and I wrote him again:

The Dart's engine is 340 bored to 394, edelbrock 750 on edelbrock super victor intake, eagle rods &
JE forged pistons, callies crank making 11:1 comp ratio.
The best part is that it runs on pump gas all day long.
The name thing is still up in the air, but I'm thinking... "Stone Mountain" is a pretty macho goddamned
name. You got a hard word like "STONE" and an epic word in "MOUNTAIN." It's going to be hard to
top. Still, I don't want to run families off...
We might go with "The Blood Mountain Memorial to the War of Northern Aggression and Fun Park."
I tell you what, if the car isn't your ballgame, that old ostrich farmer's porn collection was something to
see. It includes rare pieces of vintage smut, some of which is actually Victorian Era. Authorship of one
item has been attributed (by Cambridge scholars!) to Anthony Trollope. It includes a set of 24
pornographic calotypes. One calotype seems to depict Trollope himself sucking off a goat, but it has
been damaged by water from someone using the calotype as a drink coaster, so it might be anyone.
Definitely a goat, though.
Let me know when you might have some time to come drive this car.
-paul

IS THE DART STILL AVAILABLE?

IS THE PORN STILL AVAILABLE?

The thing that I still think of all the time is Clocker Bob in full meltdown saying "I'm baking the freshest bread on the block!"

dontfeartheringo wrote: Mon Oct 18, 2021 10:17 am Some of you may remember the time a couple of us teamed up to troll an idiot on the ATL craigslist:

My god, this should all be published somewhere. Amazing. Just fantastic. The entire thing is brilliant. Here are some highlights that speak to me.

1972 Dodge Dart

Classic, southern gold. MOPAR has the perfect flavor, but not some prohibitively rare model. Subtle avoiding the big Ford and GM models, though a Pontiac might have worked as well. You know a Tempest is damn near a GTO if you don't have a rich daddy. Those 400s can put you back in your seat.

We responded:
It's a '72 dart demon w/ h code 340, jet black with blackout rims.
8 3/4 rear
bucket seats, console
tuff wheel
rear wing
rally gauges
11,200 orig miles
It was an arizona car for 33 years, A friend of my father's son bought it, then the son went to vietnam,
got killed.

Okay, this is a perfect distillation of high classic car/bargain trader culture. Dry, no road salt or east coast sea water air and the whole war casualty son thing is some real O. Henry (from Greensboro, btw) stuff right there. Sadly based in reality, it has risen to be a venerable cultural trope. There's a Quantum Leap episode based around the premise, for example (except it is a motorcycle this time). All that is missing is mention of an Eddlebrock intake, but you get to that later. Thrush or cherry bomb exhaust may have been too much.

I made investment in this guy's ostrich farm, which of course failed, so I took ownership of car,

Genius. How many times does this fad pop up? I love it.

collection of furniture from McLean House in Appomattox.
I am trying to assemble every piece of furniture from McLean House in one place as part of civil war
theme park we are building across the street from Stone Mountain

.
Jesus
Fucking
Christ!

fucked my girlfriend in high school and what I'd really like to do is to ruin his
life.

Of course. Nice touch. If you get a bite, this will set the hook for sure.

the Royal Knights of the Ku Klux Klan.

Shit starts to get real right about here.

They leave their snake handling churches and put aside their cousin fucking ways and
come to Stone Mountain for their big convention every year.

This is poetry. I can almost see them coming out of the woodwork like copperheads in spring.

We're getting down near 11.23 on cold, dry track.

Beyond solid, nice detail. Imagine it blowing the doors of that hot shit Chevy II.

Your advice is more valuable to me than the Dart because I think you're the kind of customer I am looking to attract.

Balls are right on the table now.

Paul, my friend,
I don't know you, but i'll help you out in any way that I can!

Holy Shit!

Never been a big fan of Stone Mountain, so by all means fuck their shit up buddy.

I don't know this local reference, but this is gold.

Now being a History student/buff,
Of course! Of course.

This is a trade I hadn't thought about, but may be willing to do.

How could he have thought of it? No one could have.

It's kind of a super sketchy area, so I'd need to go ahead and corral the dogs before you went over there, and that takes about 90 minutes.
All of the ostriches from the ranch are also there, but they won't give us any trouble.

This reminds me of a time I had to salvage some old mustang parts and was told the goats would be no trouble. They were.

We killed and butchered one right out there in the open one day

oh god.

and it's funny, those fucking birds are a lot smarter than they let on.

perfect.

I'm glad to hear you're a student of The Event...

this just nails it in a way I can't express, but it sure does nail it.

perhaps you could scribble down 5,000 words or so

The audacity of this is impressive.

Sherman's March rollercoaster

a large flaming Atlanta, a la the scene right before the intermission of 'Gone With The Wind'

Truly inspired!

it's an act of congress getting this thing around.
Ain't it though.

And no, there is nothing wrong with a burning Atlanta rollercoaster finale'.

I kinda like this guy.

The best part is that it runs on pump gas all day long.

Hardened valve seals? Handy.

"Stone Mountain" is a pretty macho goddamned name. You got a hard word like "STONE" and an epic word in "MOUNTAIN." It's going to be hard to
top. Still, I don't want to run families off...

HA!

"The Blood Mountain Memorial to the War of Northern Aggression and Fun Park."

Not complete without acknowledging the aggression by its proper, god-ordained name.

I tell you what, if the car isn't your ballgame, that old ostrich farmer's porn collection was something to
see. It includes rare pieces of vintage smut, some of which is actually Victorian Era. Authorship of one
item has been attributed (by Cambridge scholars!) to Anthony Trollope. It includes a set of 24
pornographic calotypes. One calotype seems to depict Trollope himself sucking off a goat, but it has
been damaged by water from someone using the calotype as a drink coaster, so it might be anyone.
Definitely a goat, though.

This is all so nice. Please tell me one of you writes humor regularly and there is more where this came from.

It was a tagteam effort between FM Vockins and Me.

I think he's definitely the funnier of the two of us. We have not collaborated on anything since, sadly.

I can't find the post, so some or all of the following might be wrong, but: FM RSMurphy (?) revealing he was selling out and joining a successful musical group from the Chicago area, revealed on a 'significant' date. The tactful initial reactions were priceless.

Early onset dementia symptom, or did this happen?

pldms wrote: Thu Oct 21, 2021 11:49 amThe tactful initial reactions were priceless.

I was expecting to get dragged what with being the new guy in Smashing Pumpkins and all, but everyone was hilariously diplomatic!

a couple of my buddies kept asking when they would finally get to see my apartment down at school years ago when we were all partying, and i gave details about all the most interesting stuff like the squirrel who kept coming by my window each morning and it turned into that chicago thang where you keep bs'ing eachother proving you're being real more than the other guy and you wind up having to do some stuff to prove the other guy down like going from teasing about putting food by the window to guarantees about my exotic animal handling and how i could make it my pet if i wanted to..

then one time i saw these youtube parkour douchechills online who always teased this girl in their videos in a hazy frat way and then she slept with the homeless guy at white castle and im like that's fraternity pressure that's broism combined with that chicago thang and i felt bad that girl didn't know how to be broer by not doing the thang rather than doing it and im like that poor girl you can see her face when they tease her about banging the homeless guy in their lame rock parkour videos, im like you go girl what would jesus do.. that homeless guy got way more than the dollar he was asking for but it always broke my heart when girls would get wasted and have stuff happen i never understood i only got wasted to prevent more life from happening after trauma but i was good before and after .. but you can't bottom line somebody in that way where the answer is yes or no that's like dalton on donnie darko giving you a bs choice between love and fear when that form of measurement one guy made up is not efficient to measure the vast array of human experience both emotionally and in the choices we make .. recently in new orleans my buddies brought up the squirrel thang and we all giggled about it for awhile and it was never about whether or not the squirrel got trained.. those parkour guys were not helping by creating an atmosphere where there's cards being force-played.. so be careful of that jerry seinfeld thang where he's bro'ing kramer for the levels he was going to build, to jerry its yes or no that a project cums to completion like a homeless guy at white castle and to kramer its an inspiration, an attempt to create his own sistine chapel at home that he makes himself, his fancy new levels but if he can't do it his way, if he throws out the pages like picasso rather than erasing or "following through" it ceases to be that which he set out to create, an atmosphere like the christmas feeling, it's not about the measurements it's about the result.. it's not building a choir for charlie brown kids to stand on its the entire effect once the artists vision is possible .. it's not the measurements of the tailored suit it's the way the man is going to seduce the lady in it because he's james bond, you can't tell james bond he is incapable of stuff, that's using the same language to speak different languages

3 Vague memories

Someone in the mental health thread had posted about an attempted suicide by cop. A wife and maybe kid were in the house. I'll remember it occasionally, but not sure what to search for.

People moving "Off The Grid", was that you Ringo? shortly before the kid?


and fishingRhod's Pond.