mrdfnle wrote:The Kenny: Your new telemarketing job exposes you to Snohomish and Sammamish. Which you gladly name your recently adopted twins

Just Better: You are able to convince your doctor to write a Viagra prescription for you by claiming that you will be otherwise unable to meet the needs of your wife's "saskatoon".

Just Worse: Although they have no idea what the term means, your college buddies nonetheless laugh riotously when you tell them that you've recently been giving your ex-girlfriend the ol' "medicine hat".

The Kenny: The racist joke made by the whitewater rafting guide just before the launch of your six-day trip.

The Kenny: The racist joke made by the whitewater rafting guide just before the launch of your six-day trip.

Just better - you decide to put up with his ignorance and are glad of it when, three days downriver, he breaks his face on a jagged rock and you are able to use his klan outfit as a main-sail.

Just worse - you begin to wish you'd packed a shirt other than your lester bangs "last of the white niggers" skinny tee.


New kenny on an old theme - you are shocked when you receive an urgent call from the rza asking you to replace ol' dirt mcgirt in a wu tang reunion tonight. you gather your shit in record time and head down to the auditorium just as the clan are hitting the stage. the lights go up, two thousand people go wild and suddenly, with an aching sense of regret, you realise you are adrian zmed.

tommydski wrote:New kenny on an old theme - you are shocked when you receive an urgent call from the rza asking you to replace ol' dirt mcgirt in a wu tang reunion tonight. you gather your shit in record time and head down to the auditorium just as the clan are hitting the stage. the lights go up, two thousand people go wild and suddenly, with an aching sense of regret, you realise you are adrian zmed.

Just Better: Your old pal Heather Locklear is in the audience and gives you the full-on newfound-respect fuck-me-eyes throughout the entire set. Then afterwards you get to fuck her.

Just Worser: You don't realise you are adrian zmed and you let out a hearty "Whassup all my nig-GAHz?!". two thousand people go wild and suddenly stomp a mudhole in your ass.

Kenny get a witness?: Your high school biology class lab partner insists that you name your fetal piggie before you cut it open. For some reason he insists that the best name would be "Captain Crunch". He laughs his ass off and never explains... a mystery that haunts you to this day: was it just a stupid "in-joke" that he wouldn't tell, or was he really light-years ahead of your teenaged self with respect to absolute "dada" humor?

Arson Smith wrote:Kenny get a witness?: Your high school biology class lab partner insists that you name your fetal piggie before you cut it open. For some reason he insists that the best name would be "Captain Crunch". He laughs his ass off and never explains... a mystery that haunts you to this day: was it just a stupid "in-joke" that he wouldn't tell, or was he really light-years ahead of your teenaged self with respect to absolute "dada" humor?

Just Better: Your high school chemistry class lab partner is a real jerk who likes to engage in public displays of show offy stupidity. One day, Lab Buddy does a crapload of whippets in class and falls wah-wah-wah-wah-wah facefirst onto a hot Bunsen burner. His hair and Adidas tracksuit catch fire, and he suffers third degree burns to his face, hands and torso. After he is subjected to a series of painful and debilitating skin grafts and returns to school, you and your friends refer to him at various times as "Fidel Castro", "Nerf" and "Wednesday Addams", and you demand that he sing the chorus to Blondie's "Call Me" at every opportunity.

Just Worse: As the result of a wacky funeral home mix up, you find yourself buried alive. Fortunately, you have a flashlight, a canister of compressed mixed gas air that would last you for many hours, and a cell phone with coverage. Unfortunately, you are also incredibly stupid, and you are unable to remember the telephone number for 911.

Kenny: You don't miss your arms so much, but you really miss making the chainsaw sculptures.

i don't want to follow that but seriously, right there that was my favourite series of sentences ever.

why are you not a writer senor? why?

Bradley R. Weissenberger wrote:Kenny: You don't miss your arms so much, but you really miss making the chainsaw sculptures.

just better = Molly Ringwald

just worse = You don’t miss your arms so much, but you really miss being able to wear wristbands.


El Kenny: The shaved parts of Mr. T’s head.

stackmatic wrote:El Kenny: The shaved parts of Mr. T’s head.

JB: Still wearing vests despite the loss of your arms.

JW: A publicity shot that involves a Star of David Medallion framing your naval.

Kenido: Scott Speizio's permanent homage to his wife.

itchy mcgoo wrote:
Kenido: Scott Speizio's permanent homage to his wife.

just better: tacos that are "okay" but inexpensive

just worse: Scott Speizio's permanent homage to his mother that is in a NSFW area.


Kenny: Catchphrases

the Classical wrote:Kenny: Catchphrases

JB: Hep Scar Chats

JW: A/C Phart Chess

KY Nen: Googling "Kentucky Nen" and getting "Sex Party Men Kentucky!" as the second result.

I'm sorry... 52 pages!!!!!!