Gramsci wrote:I'm sorry... 52 pages!!!!!!

just better: sunshine on a warm Friday afternoon

just worse: 51 pages

way, way, way worse: However many pages of "Compressing the dumbshit" there are

Kenny: SUBWAY SHE IS A PORNO

the Classical wrote:Kenny: SUBWAY SHE IS A PORNO

Just better:

Wattie of Exploited wrote:This next song's about me mum! It's called PORNO SLUT ONETWOTHREEFOUR

Just Worse: A porno featuring Jared Fogel of Subway


Kennytucky: the DVD commentary track of Twiins done by Arnold Schwartzennegger and Danny DeVito.

kerble wrote:Kennytucky: the DVD commentary track of Twiins done by Arnold Schwartzennegger and Danny DeVito.

JB: Not democratically electing idiots to office just because they're famous

JW:

Time Out, in 1977, quoting the man who is now governor of California, wrote:Nixon was always being attacked sexually. It was always said that he was a fag and that he had no sexual relations with his wife for 15 years and that was why he liked power. And Hitler had only one ball, and that was why he wanted to conquer the world."

Kenjamin Franklin: ummm... like, uh, being electrocuted

kerble wrote:Kennytucky: the DVD commentary track of Twiins done by Arnold Schwartzennegger and Danny DeVito.

Jables: expending the energy to contest a $10 parking ticket

J to th' W: stale cigarettes

THE NEW KEN: You're good and hung-over at work on Friday, but there's really no work at all to be done, so you got yourself a nice little Goof-Off Day going for you. Unfortunately, the side result of having no work to do makes the "workday" FEEL LIKE it lasts about twenty-seven hours instead of eight that you still have to spend sitting at the stupid desk.

Arson Smith wrote:THE NEW KEN: You're good and hung-over at work on Friday, but there's really no work at all to be done, so you got yourself a nice little Goof-Off Day going for you. Unfortunately, the side result of having no work to do makes the "workday" FEEL LIKE it lasts about twenty-seven hours instead of eight that you still have to spend sitting at the stupid desk.

JB: You turn on a radio and listen as the White Sox kick the everliving shit out of the Cubs. Mark Buehrle is on your fantasy team and is pitching a 1-hit gem through 5. You also have Konerko, who has two hits and three RBIs in his first two at-bats. You scratch your nuts and leave work at 4:30. The sun is shining. You are on your way to the park.

JW: You are not a baseball fan, your office has no windows, and you can't, no matter how hard you try, think of a good Kenny.

Big Daddy Ken: you forgot about that yogurt you brought for breakfast. It has been sitting on your desk for 5 hours... but dammit, you're pretty hungry.

Big Daddy Ken: you forgot about that yogurt you brought for breakfast. It has been sitting on your desk for 5 hours... but dammit, you're pretty hungry.

Just Better: Eye Boogers

Just worse: The eggsalad sandwich in the refridgerator(SP) that no one has ever thrown away.


Ken-oply: Kerble following your around only because his head was medically attached to your body

mrdfnle wrote:

Ken-oply: Kerble following your around only because his head was medically attached to your body

Just Better: the "search function" for this message board is electronically connected to your anus.

Just Worse: M*#thew following you around only because he likes your mom.


Kenny: viewing more emoticons in anticipation of an amusing rebuttal.

Andrew L. wrote:Kenny: viewing more emoticons in anticipation of an amusing rebuttal.

Just Better: Viewing yourself in anticipation of your buffalo tenders and waffle fries.

Just Worse: Viewing more emo.

Kenny: By some strange chance, your parents named you "LeBron James" when you were born. Previously, they had named your older sister "Tobey Maguire".

Kenny: By some strange chance, your parents named you "LeBron James" when you were born. Previously, they had named your older sister "Tobey Maguire".

JB - Your oldest sibling is named Assface Pukebucket. They seem to have gotten a little more conventional as things progressed.

JW- You are a nine year old catholic at parochial school. Your priest has a penchant for boys whose names carry French prefixes.
He's "calling them to the Rectory," so to speak, in alphabetical order.
You just passed your friend DuPree Ives in the quad.
He has a blank look on his face, is white as a sheet, and is limping.



The K-Doe - Your neighbor of ten years, a nice old lady who used to bring you pies, has moved into a retirement home. The house has been bought by property management company. 12 people have moved in next door into the 700 square foot, two bedroom house. They are all Deadheads. They drop by often and ask to borrow stuff.

alex maiolo wrote:

The K-Doe - Your neighbor of ten years, a nice old lady who used to bring you pies, has moved into a retirement home. The house has been bought by property management company. 12 people have moved in next door into the 700 square foot, two bedroom house. They are all Deadheads. They drop by often and ask to borrow stuff.

Much Worse: Following a minor stroke at the age of 71, you are "placed" in a government-subsidized retirement home. The daily regimen includes holding hands and singing Johnny Appleeseed as grace before all meals.

Just Worse: Your housemate has 12 white suits but insists on wearing nothing but his "birthday" suit around the house because "it's natural."

Just Better: Your obnoxious neighbors that constantly ask to borrow things are dropping dead one by one. Lying in your bed at night, you routinely hear your housemate exit at 1 am and return by 3. Your "garden" meanwhile is getting very "moundy."

Kenny: You are very hungry and would like to have a BBQ. Here are the current weather conditions:

TEMPERATURE 12°C (54)
OVERCAST
WIND SE 20 km/h
GUSTS 60 km/h (37 mph)
RELATIVE HUMIDITY 72%
DEWPOINT 7°C
PRESSURE 101.29 kPa
VISIBILITY 14 km
CEILING 2600 ft

You are adrift in a lifeboat on the Caspian Sea with a ukulele.