rysie wrote:what small and wrinkly and hangs out your trousers.

your nan

jewish pub - the kosher horses

whats ET short for.

cos he has small legs.

sorry again

Rysie!

Your new home suits you well!

Jean-Paul Sartre is knocking out the last few paragraphs of Being and Nothingness in a cafe in Paris. A waitress approaches and asks what he'd like to drink:

"I'd like a cup of coffee, with no cream."

The waitress replies:

"I'm sorry, but we're out of cream. How about with no milk?"

rysie wrote:jewish pub - the kosher horses

I don't get it!

The other two were really funny and I'll be telling them later!

ChampRab: My dad tells the same joke, but without the Sartre partre.

LVP

'The Coach & Horses' is a very common name for pubs in the U.K.

It's not that good a joke, to be fair. I'm still giggling like a kid about 'kneading a poo'. INLA!

night_tools wrote:LVP

'The Coach & Horses' is a very common name for pubs in the U.K.

It's not that good a joke, to be fair. I'm still giggling like a kid about 'kneading a poo'. INLA!

Yeah, the poo joke was NOT CRAP!

Reminds me of another joke. One winter after the lake froze over, everyone set up their shacks to do some ice fishing. One fisherman noticed that another old man always had the biggest catch. He asked him what his ice fishing secret was, and the old man told him, "It's simple. I bring out a bag of peas, and after I drill the hole I line up the peas along the edge of the hole, and then I just wait."
"Wait for what?"
"When a fish comes up to take a pea, you grab him!"

Q: Why did the nun like jesus?
A: Because he was well hung.

get in.
rabbit shall i stay here then.


the thing is i've used my trump jokes first.
maybe i should get back to making new topics.

what thinks you.

whats brown and sounds like a bell?


DUNG.
its better with sound

rysie wrote:

DUNG.
its better with sound

Poo-joke-tacular!!

I tell this joke to death around new people, and they've almost invariably heard it before. So I follow it up with an impression of Christopher Walken - which is something I ripped off a friend anyway. This doesn't work at getting a laugh either, so I make my excuses and head for the nearest toilet to cry quietly.


An Eskimo takes his car to a garage complaining that there's something wrong with it. After a few moments the Eskimo pokes his head from under the bonnet and says "It looks like you've blown a seal", to which Mr Eskimo replies "No sir, that's just snow on my moustache".


SNOW ON HIS MOUSTACHE!!! HE IS OFFENDED BECAUSE HE THINKS THE MECHANIC IS SUGGESTING THAT HE'S ORALLY PLEASURED A SEAL, AND SUBSEQUENTLY ENDED UP WITH SEMEN ON HIS MOUSTACHE!!!
Do seals even derive any pleasure from this kind of activity?







[Christoper Walken]
So he hid the watch in the one place he knew he could hide something-- his ass.
[/Christopher Walken]























Fuck this. I'm going to the WC.