Josef K wrote:

STF wrote:
Fingerless gloves.

If this list gets put into some sort of order of priority then this must be number one.

sorry, I think assless chaps get the #1

A local band called Mirror Mirror opened for Melt Banana last night.

I walked in and one of them was playing a cowbell with two drumsticks. Just a cowbell in the middle of the stage on a stand. I walked back out.

Ten minutes later I wandered back in and three of the five members had taken their shirts off.

I went outside and smoked until they'd finished.

Shame because they weren't an awful band. But it seemed like they were really trying.

there are more than 6 of them on stage... I would say if you have more than 6 people in your band there is about a 95% chance your band sucks.

Fresh Hot Topic clothes, including hat.
Meticulously done "emo" stage wear, up to and including the wrist band-aid.
Swag from the local "nu-rock" station.
Sponsorship from same.
"Soulful" blues-guitar noodling before the set.
Gold hardware.
Banjos.
Anything rastafauxian.
Any utterance of the term "jam-friendly" from the guitar player during load-in.

Barbo wrote:

aen wrote:SCHECTER.

For some reason I remember J. Robbins playing one in Burning Airlines years ago.

I think prejudging a band based on their equipment is unfair. I have seen a ton of shows and have been completely surprised sometimes. Not often, but it does happen. That being said, an entire band of young kids (21 and under) with nice gear are almost always terrible. It is usually sign of privilege and arrogance.


Jon

We were once supported by a band from North Carolina who sounded almost exactly like the Gin Blossoms (and this was 2007). They were all between 19-22 and the four-piece band had, no exaggeration, at least $25,000 worth of (new) gear on stage. Not expensive, old, hard-to-find vintage stuff. I'm talking brand new, Guitar Center tags hanging off of it, minty shit.

The drummer had a $400 double pedal he didn't use, a six-piece DW kit he probably paid full list for at the Guitar Center Labor Day Exxxtravaganza, and six cymbals. The guitarists had full stacks - one with a shitty solid state head and the other with (I shit you not) a "5150" head.

They were not good.

Anyone in the band who's not a female wearing a scarf. It's gonna blow.

STF wrote:Pink guitar.

I play a pink '65 Jazzmaster. You have a problem with that?

zom-zom wrote:

STF wrote:Pink guitar.

I play a pink '65 Jazzmaster. You have a problem with that?

And so did Ric Ocasek.

I see no wrongdoing here.

Anyone in the band wearing a feather boa.



Chicken mask is fine.

ginandtacos.com wrote:2. Banners. Bands playing in front of a large banner bearing their name and/or "logo" cannot possibly be good. This is science.

Sadly, we left ours behind in Madison.