mrdfnle wrote:I walked into a crappy restaurant job to see if I was needed for the night and one of the cook's asked me if I had ESPN.

I walked into the photography studio I used to work at and 3 of my co-workers were standing around looking intently at a photo one of the customers had taken of the Kremlin. Puzzled, they asked me if it was the Taj Mahal and I told them, "no, that's part of the Kremlin....actually, part of St. Basil's Cathedral."

They responded, "huh? The GREMLIN?"

Recently I accidentally said to a computer programmer "Yeah the movie had a bunch of cgi effects"



oops

the headmaster where i went to highschool spit out a great one once: it was grandparent's day in discussing the menu for the day he said, "i think the food should be diarrhetic."

he meant dietetic. it's funny when stupid people try to be smart.

I've heard people say "flaunting the law" for "flouting the law". I doubt that they meant it in the sense of "if you've got it [the law], flaunt it".

"A large amount of people" should be "A large number of people".

"(Would you like to) participate in some wine?" for "partake of some wine?" was an unneccessary clangor from someone trying to sound posh.

On two occasions last week both my mom and aunt referred to "Valen-times".

Ali G had a good one: "What about the youth in asia?"

Ricky from Trailer Park Boys has lots of improvised gems, but I unfortunately forgot them all. "Warchester sauce" I just overheard.

I am sick of all these university pedants being "weary" of certain controversial texts. Yeah, that works in many contexts, but the intent is often "wary." I hear this one about once a week. Also (thought not a malapropism necessarily) I have to suffer in classrooms is "causation/causality" instead of the more economic "cause." I suppose causality works to describe the concept of agent and effect, in a way I don't think they understand. Fuck them, the suffixes just sound precocious and silly to me.

In class someone wrote a response to Darwin's portrayal of sexual selection, referring to our reality as a "doggy-dog" world. The teacher read it aloud as we read individual copies of the response, and when he got to this mangling he stumbled and had to hide a smirk that nobody else seemed to notice.

I had a high school girlfriend inform me via internet conversation that I take her "for granite." I still hear this one occasionally, can't help but imagine I'm misinterpreting the speaker as a slab of rock.

Semantical errors make me feel superior.

Thanks Tanx for bumping this one.

My sister-in-law was talking about having to make a difficult decision the other week: "And when cookie comes to crunch..." - a superb mix of when the cookie crumbles and when it comes to the crunch. I thought her malaprop caught things quite nicely.

Did anyone else use to think November the fifth was Bomb-fire night?

Guy I work with says "right off the back".
My girlfriend's cousins would say "pass me the remoke" As in the "remo-control" = "remoke". They weren't remotely intelligent.