Champion Rabbit wrote:Warning, the yanks might not get it.
...
"Oh" said Tommy, "it's fish, chimps and mushy bees."

Correct.

So it seems that, in premodern times, there were two small societies that lived near to each other, and one lived in thatch huts, and one lived in mud huts. The king of the thatch-hut tribe decided it was very important that he have, as a symbol of his great status, the largest throne and the largest bed in the entire village. Unfortunately, his engineers could not devise a way to build a thatch hut larger than a certain size, and it was impossible to fit the throne and the bed in the hut. His engineers wracked their brains, but could not find a solution. One day, an engineer was visiting from the mud-hut tribe, and he offered a solution: "My king had this same problem, and we rigged up a pulley system, so that in the day, he can sit on his throne, while his bed is suspended above him from the ceiling, while in the evening, he can sleep on the bed, with his throne suspended similarly. I'd be glad to design such a scheme for you." So the king takes him up on the offer, and for a while, things are going fine - in the day, the bed is up and the chair is down; in the night, vice versa. Then one night, his great seat proves too much for the thatch walls and ceiling, and the whole thing collapses on the king, killing him instantly. The moral, of course, is that people who live in grass houses should not stow thrones.

Linus Van Pelt wrote:

Champion Rabbit wrote:Warning, the yanks might not get it.
...
"Oh" said Tommy, "it's fish, chimps and mushy bees."

Correct.

Fish, chips and mushy peas is something of a 'classic' British dish, although not one that people often actually eat.

Not in my house anyway.

Linus, it's a pun on this most nutritious of British specialities:



The stuff on top is not vomit. Honest.

Rimbaud III wrote:The stuff on top is not vomit. Honest.

What the hell is it then?

it must be vomit.

i cant work out what it is.

rysie wrote:it must be vomit.

i cant work out what it is.

It looks like 'curry sauce' (not as in proper curry, but as in chip-shop curry-sauce) but on only a mad-man puts curry sauce on fish, surely?

those peas dont look mushy enough either.

oldest joke.

why have african elephants got big ears?




cos noddy didnt pay the ransom

From a toilet wall:

Rousseau: To be is to do.



Sarte: To do is to be.






































Sinatra: Dobedobedo







Sorry. Sorry.

I thought they were just very dribbly mushy peas. Or it could be bottom-chocolate from after a night painting the town red (well, green).


Here's some more punnage for your groaning pleasure:

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer".

Mushy peas. Got it. How you people survive on stuff like that, I'll never know.


So a chicken goes into a library, walks right up to the counter and says, "Boowk!"
The librarian says, "You need a book?"
"Boowk!"
"OK." The librarian picks a book off the shelf and gives it to the chicken, who tucks it under one wing and walks out. A while later, the chicken comes back in, carrying the book. He goes up to the counter, and drops the book.
"Boowk! Boowk!"
"You need two books?"
"Boowk! Boowk!"
"OK," and he picks two books, hands them to the chicken, who walks out. A while later, the chicken brings the two books back to the counter.
"Bowk! Bowk! Booooawk!"
"You need three books - two short books and a long book?"
"Bowk! Bowk! Booooawk!"
So he complies, but this time, his curiousity has got the better of him, so he decides to follow the chicken and find out what's going on. The chicken leads him out of the library, down the road, across the street, onto a path, through some woods, into a marsh where sits a giant bullfrog. The chicken walks right up to the bullfrog and hands him a book.
The bullfrog looks at the book, looks at the chicken, and says, "Rrreddit!"