You fat bastard.
131things i've learned from my life around weights: 1. diet is important, but don't think of it as a diet. it's what you eat. humans can get away with eating just about anything, but we should eat decently. poison is in the dose. 2. running can fuck you up easily. i hate it and don't recommend it at all ever but i'm a short, asthmatic, ex-smoker, my opinion would be a little biased. biking is better, doesn't destroy joints or muscle tissue nearly as much. make sure your seat is adjusted right, and use the proper gears. wear a helmet ffs. i trust me not to crash my bike, but i don't trust your dumbass to not drive into me. cardio won't really get you toned or strong for anything but that cardio, and using cardio to burn off excess calories is also inefficent. iirc, 1hr of moderate walking for a 5'4 165lb dude will burn 100 calories. which is nothing. not eating that 100 calories would be a better deal. if you're stoked on cardio and hate the bicycle, walk uphill, stair climb, incline that treadmill, and don't grab the handle and lean back, doing that makes it not walking up an incline anymore. 3. if you like lifting weights, get comfortable with the big 5. squats, deadlifts, benchpress, overhead press, and bent-over row. the 5x5 (google it, there's an app. and everything) work-out is fantastic. it's every other day, and you can finish it in 45m if you keep your rest periods at about a minute. if you'd rather sculpt and tone and bodybuild over power-lift, and want to be in the gym 6days out of a week, i got a program for that. just ask. 4. ab work is stupid. especially if you do 4 out of 5 of the above lifts. which, if you're not, what are you doing? those ones will make your whole body strong, which is kind of the point. 5. a lot of machines are also stupid. decent for rehab though, or those with joint issues. or if you need to build the strength to get to the 5 big lifts. 6. if you're not trying to gain weight, don't worry about protein shakes. even if you are trying to gain weight, an ectomorph might make decent use of the average grocery store brand, the rest of us don't lift enough, nor monitor the diet closely enough to achieve anything but getting fat. 7. if you're trying to lose weight, watch that diet. just like recording, garbage in->garbage out. 8. bicep work is also stupid. trapezius work is not. 9. don't overdo it! pay attention to your muscles, joints, and breathing. some muscle pain, fine. a lot, bad. joint pain, terrible. lifting weights is dangerous. be fucking careful. practice proper form. 10. don't drop the weights, asshole. 11. leave olympic lifts to the olympians. snatch, clean and jerk, etc. taking care of yourself is cheaper than not and mitigates a lot of the pain of aging. i'd rather pay a little now than a lot later. shit sucks though. 30-45m every other day. you can do it. do it in the morning. do anything.