obviously the poster is Ray Smuckles:

I need a DJ who is "ill with the jigga-jiggas" - $15
Reply to: sale-391911571@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-08-07, 10:54PM CDT


I am a producer looking for a DJ who can scratch his ass-off! For obvious reasons my first choice is former DMC judge/competitor and renowned dJ Danny the Wild Child, but his ass is always to busy to return a phone call. That's a good thing though. In the meantime Chicago Dj's "STAND-UP" and let's bring the DJ and the scratch back to hip/hop. I'm looking for Primo-type sratched hooks, interlude scratch segments and someone ill who can host a mix-tape. Not that " DJ Who Kid push-a- button" type dj but someone who can really get down on the wheels of steel. Yes I did say "wheels-of-steel" because that's the era I'm from. Compliment my teams "boom-bap" with your cuts. P.S. if my ebonic filled discription sounds like a foreign language to you--you need not apply. Thanks in advance. By the way, I need him for this Saturday so please respond quickly.

Marsupialized wrote:I need advice about A.A. (Burbank)
Reply to: pers-387206259@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-08-01, 6:41PM CDT


I drank heavily for some 15 years till my doctor told me I had pretty serious kidney damage and had to stop drinking. So I joined Alcoholics Anonymous, and I fucking HATED it, but I did stop drinking.
Well, I've been sober for almost 3 years now and a couple weeks ago I read about something called "auto-erotic asphyxiation"- basically you wrap a belt or something around your neck to cut off the blood from your brain and when you whack off the pressure builds until your about to pass out, then right as you cum you release the belt and the rush of blood intensifies the orgasm like 1000 times.
It's supposed to be a MAJOR buzz and you can do it without messing up your sobriety!
I've been trying this all this last weekend and this week and I must be doing it wrong because it's not working. I tried it with a belt and it wouldn't get tight enough, so then I tried it with a bungee cord with hooks on the ends. I wrapped this bungee cord around my neck like 8 times and hooked it and started beating off like CRAZY and all that happened was the blood vessels in my eyes bursted so I've had to wear sunglasses all week long to hide my blood-red eyes.
They look so gross!
Then I tried it with a length of rope and kinda hung myself from my shower curtain rod, but right when I was about to cum the rod broke and I fell and whacked my head against the sink, and the rough rope tore the shit out of my neck and bruised it all up so I've had to wear turtleneck shirts to work all week, and it's SO fucking hot everyone thinks I'm drinking again cuz I've been wearing the sunglasses and turtlenecks all the time and I have a big purple knot on my head where I hit the sink.
What am I doing wrong?
Why isn't it working?
I've though about getting some rubber hose and trying with that but I've already wasted like 40$ on belts and bungee cord and rope so I need to get this right, I'm kinda low on cash till I get paid next week.
Serious Replies Only.


* Location: Burbank
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

If only Michael Hutchence had thought about contacting Craiglist for advice.

Marsupialized wrote:I need advice about A.A. (Burbank)
Reply to: pers-387206259@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-08-01, 6:41PM CDT


I drank heavily for some 15 years till my doctor told me I had pretty serious kidney damage and had to stop drinking. So I joined Alcoholics Anonymous, and I fucking HATED it, but I did stop drinking.
Well, I've been sober for almost 3 years now and a couple weeks ago I read about something called "auto-erotic asphyxiation"- basically you wrap a belt or something around your neck to cut off the blood from your brain and when you whack off the pressure builds until your about to pass out, then right as you cum you release the belt and the rush of blood intensifies the orgasm like 1000 times.
It's supposed to be a MAJOR buzz and you can do it without messing up your sobriety!
I've been trying this all this last weekend and this week and I must be doing it wrong because it's not working. I tried it with a belt and it wouldn't get tight enough, so then I tried it with a bungee cord with hooks on the ends. I wrapped this bungee cord around my neck like 8 times and hooked it and started beating off like CRAZY and all that happened was the blood vessels in my eyes bursted so I've had to wear sunglasses all week long to hide my blood-red eyes.
They look so gross!
Then I tried it with a length of rope and kinda hung myself from my shower curtain rod, but right when I was about to cum the rod broke and I fell and whacked my head against the sink, and the rough rope tore the shit out of my neck and bruised it all up so I've had to wear turtleneck shirts to work all week, and it's SO fucking hot everyone thinks I'm drinking again cuz I've been wearing the sunglasses and turtlenecks all the time and I have a big purple knot on my head where I hit the sink.
What am I doing wrong?
Why isn't it working?
I've though about getting some rubber hose and trying with that but I've already wasted like 40$ on belts and bungee cord and rope so I need to get this right, I'm kinda low on cash till I get paid next week.
Serious Replies Only.


* Location: Burbank
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

I will trade you records if you hang out with me and you are female
Date: 2007-07-07, 4:49PM EDT


tell me about who you are send pic

hang out with me nice guy white male

in astoria
i will give you 10 lps for an hour and 1/2 of hanging out
i will give you 15 lps for a massage no guys just female only
rock lps mostly dont ask for list come here and look through it you wont get any free ones for looking through them only for hanging out

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/368733833.html

Johnny 13 wrote:

I will trade you records if you hang out with me and you are female
Date: 2007-07-07, 4:49PM EDT


tell me about who you are send pic

hang out with me nice guy white male

in astoria
i will give you 10 lps for an hour and 1/2 of hanging out
i will give you 15 lps for a massage no guys just female only
rock lps mostly dont ask for list come here and look through it you wont get any free ones for looking through them only for hanging out

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/368733833.html

This one makes me feel a little sorry for the guy.

haha check out this gold, under the women for men section

http://saltlakecity.craigslist.org/w4m/397882523.html

Looking for a Male or Two To Participate in a Learning Experience - 23
Reply to: pers-397882523@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-08-15, 2:38PM MDT


Hi,

I suppose this is a bit unusual but then again on CL maybe not all that much. I am a student in nursing who is ready to finish my last year of a 4 year program (B.S. in Nursing). Am home for the summer in the Salt Lake City area and would like to practice some of the professional skills I will actually use before returning to school this fall.

Thus, I am looking for a few males that are interested in being a patient for a physical examination and would be similar to one you receive for a new job. So that would be a head to toe exam. You would need to be undressed for the physical exam and I would do a real physicians assistant type exam on you. I am open to age and infact would like to see a cross section of all ages and nothing is too old.

I am open to married or not and this is a discreet affair so no pictures, videos etc. so your identity is protected.

Again its a full physical exam and I will do the exam in a hotel setting. I have a good friend who is able to get me a comp room in SLC area at a suite type hotel. That way a conference table is provided in the room that will work fine as an exam table. Looking at setting up weekend exams and a few days during the week after 4 pm exam appts.

If you are interested and not shocked at this request then please email me with PIC, AGE, WEIGHT, HEIGHT, When you last had a physical exam. All will be kept in confidence.

The exam is professionally done and takes about a hour to complete. Again you will be fully undressed for the exam and their are NO shots, injections, or blood draw, all equipment (and yes I have quite a bit available) will be sterlie/clean and I you will receive a good overall exam. When you respond I will detail the exam and you can also after that ask questions.

Look forward to hearing from those interested. Pic is attached of me. I am the one on the far left.......the blond.

Mormon Salt Lake City Nurse wrote:If you are interested and not shocked at this request then please email me with PIC, AGE, WEIGHT, HEIGHT, When you last had a physical exam. All will be kept in confidence.

The exam is professionally done and takes about a hour to complete. Again you will be fully undressed for the exam and their are NO shots, injections, or blood draw, all equipment (and yes I have quite a bit available) will be sterlie/clean and I you will receive a good overall exam. When you respond I will detail the exam and you can also after that ask questions.

Look forward to hearing from those interested. Pic is attached of me. I am the one on the far left.......the blond.

Wow. Sexually repressed much?

Potato Cannon
Reply to:
Date: 2007-08-06, 11:21AM

It's 8ft long. My neighbors figured out what was happening so I need to get rid of it today.

Location: Park Slope
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Original URL: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/nyc/390476890.html
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Hi:

First let me say thank you for volunteering to undergo a physical exam. I appreciate your courage with a new to be nurse. At this time I am looking over the folks that have volunteered. I am sure with some there will be some question as to what the exam will entail so I have provided a more in depth description.

I will have you complete a medical history upon your arrival. After that is complete you will be given a hearing test with an audiometer. That is a unit with headphones that will produce varying degrees of tones and you will indicate those tones you hear. If through this exam or a visual one you need to have an ear cleaning I will do one. This will be done with an ear syringe flushing water into your ear and it rinising the deposits out and into a tray that you will hold up to your ear. It is not painful but does seem like a river rushing through the ear canal.

You will be weighed and checked for height. After that you will be asked to fully undress and take a seat on the exam table. At that time you will have the following checked: eyes, mouth, reflexes, bp, pulse, heart, spine, chest, abs etc. I will be giving you a genital exam which will be checking for testicular cancer and a hernia.

You will be given an agility exam and that is simply a duck walk and crab walk along with other exercises like touch your toes, etc. You will also be given a basic stress test where you run in place and bp/pulse checked.

I will also be giving you a rectal exam. If you are 26 y.o. and below that will be a digital rectal exam (DRE) and will be a gloved lubed finger inserted into the rectum while you are bent over the exam table and will check your prostate and lower intestine. If you are 27 y.o. and above you will first be administered an enema to clean the lower bowel and then a DRE as described above will be given to you and and that will be followed by a proctoscope exam of the prostate. The later is done with you on the exam table on your side and knees to your chest and then a scope will be inserted into the rectum for a visual check. This is not extremely uncomfortable but has the feeling of you needing to do a bowel movement. Since you will have received an enema you will not need to do a bowel movement but the sensation will be there.

If you have had sexual relations more that one person in the past past 12 months I will give you a std test. That will be a penial swab. Some discomfort will be present but its over quickly. Yes, I will have access to lab checks on this swab so will be able to relate the findings to you.

Since I believe several will want to be examined I would like to do a group exam and that would be 2-3 patients receiving there exams at the same time. You will each undress and be give paper exam gowns. There will be periods of time when you are fully undressed in the presence of the other patients. I will try and group like ages together. In that way those in 50 yo will be with like ages and will not be examined say with 20 yo. The exam for each would take a combined 25 minutes and moves along quite well. At this time I plan to do exams on Sunday August 25th and August 26th. I have a friend that works at the Embassy Suites and can provide me a suite type room. It will have a table that can be used as an exam table.

At this time I expect one and maybe a second person to help in the exam and they too are nursing students. Hope that is all right with you. One is a female and my age and the other is a male nurse and he is likewise 22 yo. They would help in the exams for me and in some cases do the full exam on others and I would assist.

Let me know which day works best for you and if you have questions those too and we will go from there. Again, thank you for your volunteering.

If you have not sent a pic at this point, given me age, when you last had an exam please do this so I can get the medical exam form started and ready to place your appt time on it.

Thanks again for giving yourself as a patient. I do appreciate that and you will receive a realist exam. Also there is no cost as we have supplies, etc. for the exams.

Mellissa

I might possibly see a band called "Amateur Penial Swab", but I don't think I'd volunteer for the actual process