A guy i taught with in Missouri was half-English/Half-Greek Cypriot. I enjoyed trading English profanity with him and fondly recall the following terms like "quim" and "pratt" (the origin of "pratt fall," I'm guessing). But he also used the derisive term "pillock" (spelling), which I love but that I never got a clear meaning for.

Can anyone explain the meaning and etymology of pillock?

Pillock - A stupid person, a bit like a berk.

Heres a good link - http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/A753527

"shit the bed"

can be used in any situation as an exclamation of surprise.

i.e:

"Did you hear Gareth's wife just ran off with one of her pupils?"
"shit the bed!"

or:

"How much did that car cost you?"
"£50,000"
"shit the bed"


another favourite which perhaps isn't strictly confined to England (having never had any decorating done abroad) is to give a young lady (or man) a

"face like a plasterer's radio"

i.e:

John: "You look chipper today Gareth, d'ya get your oats last night?"

Gareth: "Did I ever Trevor! Just as I was about to crash the yoghurt truck I pulled out and gave her a face like a plasterer's radio!"

John: "shit the bed!"

PS: the magazine Viz, whilst being generally unfunny, had the wisdom of publishing the Profanisaurus which is a source of much mirth on this subject.

Two examples that spring to mind are:

"she had a fanny like a Wizard's Sleeve"

"she'll never take up it up the Gary, I was bubbing for half an hour and she just pretended to be asleep"

honeyisfunny wrote:"shit the bed"

can be used in any situation as an exclamation of surprise.

In New England, particularly Boston, this means a mechanical failure that leaves one in a bad situation:

The washing machine shit the bed, and now everythings sudsy and wet.

The van shit the bed and we missed two gigs.

steve wrote:"shit the bed"

In New England, particularly Boston, this means a mechanical failure that leaves one in a bad situation:

The washing machine shit the bed, and now everythings sudsy and wet.

The van shit the bed and we missed two gigs.

I've not once heard this, not that I've ever spent extended time in NE, but you'd think something like that would get around. Is it the equivalent of the widespread and less locationally descriptive term "crapped out"?

I submit a few, one where my knowledge of British vernacular is clearly apparent..

Britt-friend: "So.. did you snog'im?"
Me: "Snog him?! No, I didn't even kiss him"

Other favourites:

Way hey! when something is intriguing/exciting
Cor! ditto
Bloody brilliant
Can't be arsed.. I use this one from time to time.. often yielding mixed reviews

My favourite Scottish phrases:

"Get it RIGHT up ye"

"Get it RIGHT round ye"

"Ya walloper" (this means "you penis/cock")

"Face like a well skelped arse" (skelped means beaten)

"Boabie" (means penis/cock)

"Likesay" (this is an extremely colloquial phrase used mainly by "Gadges" in Leith, a part of Edinburgh. It is only ever used at the end of a sentence/statement, ie, "The Hibees are shite this year wioot Riordan likesay." or "Gies some eccies likesay".)

"Gies peace" (shut up)

"Fud" (idiot. this is one of my all time favourites. "Ya Fud" - "You idiot")

"Jakey" (alcoholic)

"Leg it!" (run away)

"Tan" (to consume quickly)

"Shagged" (broken)

"Cunted" (very drunk/wasted on drugs "Ah'm cunted!", "He's cunted" etc. can also mean broken)

"Mennie" (derived from "mention", meaning to tag something ala grafitti)

There's so many more...

pear shaped.

as in "if things should go pear shaped, dont panic."

that one came home with me, in the overhead compartment.

refering to your penis as 'a length' is one of my favourite northern expressions.
best used in the context of "slide her a length"

on a similar subject, the expression "stick lot in" never fails to make me chuckle.