Modern neurological research maintains that somewhere around 40, your most often utilized neural connections become more static, and your body begins killing off seldom used neural cells at a rate of 20,000 a day or so. Now is the time to start those Conversational Japanese Language courses...

Someone mentioned a "regret and sense of doom phase" which for the purposes of my post I will interpret as "mid life crisis".

I think that people like me, which is probably like most of the regular posters here, took their time in their 20's by not locking themselves into a soul sucking career or a dead end marriage. By the time we found those things (for example, I just got married a little under 3 weeks ago) we knew ourselves well enough to make those kinds of decisions with total confidence. Therefore we have no mid life crisis to go through because after living the way we've wanted since escaping our teen aged years, we regret nothing.

I believe the people who go through a mid life crisis in their 30's are the ones who denied themselves the pleasure of finding themselves in their 20's. They got married too fast, had children too soon, and got sucked into mid level managment at too young an age. By the time they reached full maturity in their 30's they were no longer who they used to be, had no idea who they were now and therefore regret and question all of their decisions up to that point. Those of us who found ourselves and became comfortable within our natural limitations have few if any regrets because we've always remained true to ourselves.

That is not to say that none of us ever go through an existential crisis once in awhile as that is the human condition. But we may have a smoother time with it, in general.

So I regret nothing. I have a great wife, a great family and a great group of friends. I enjoy my work and my music and the art and music of others. I laugh, I have fun, I enrich my life through art and culture, I eat well and there are easily half a dozen people I would trust with my life. I am a rich man as far as those things go and all of my choices thus far have led me to that richness. If those have been the "wrong" choices then I don't ever want to be "right".

i agree with you el protoolio (and i'm violing this thread because i'm younger than 30) but what you say it's pretty interesting. i recently read an article about how the 'teenager' period is extending more and more, and is more a recent rule created in the 80s/90s.
it probably depends a lot in the setting. if you live in a farm in brislavania you dont need to wait til you're 30+ to raise a family. you do it much earlier because, guy, you don't have anything else to do.
(apologies for any inhabitant of my recently imagined country, but this happen in any small town from any part of the world i imagine)

well said, el protoolio.. I'm 31 in a few weeks. I'm in the same boat. I feel like I really know myself now. A lot of people my age are "ahead" of me in whatever it is they focused on, and I think they are sometimes confused as to why I am not at a similar level. Time spent understanding yourself is never a waste. Which isn't to say that introspection doesn't have it's own set of problems... But anyway, what I'm getting at is the typical plan that is shoved down our throats is optimized for making us into fuel for the economy, not making us happy. I don't think I'll have a mid life crisis, but if I do I will be a lot better equipped philosophically and psychologically than I would had I spent my 20s in a cubicle.
Honestly I don't know how people can get married before 30. I guess some people are better at that kind of stuff.

Great post, Protoolio.

I quite agree. My 30s have also been much better than my 20s.

I remember reading somewhere that "Maturity means knowing yourself, utilizing your talents and reconciling with your limitations."

Somehow I don't yet quite believe that I have to make that many concessions as I get older.

I am eating yogurt for breakfast.

I don't even like yogurt.

Yet, I keep buying it because it is "good for me" and I think that one day I will suddenly like it.

This is mocha flavored yogurt. It does not taste of mocha at all.

I am old, because eating yogurt for breakfast is something old people do.

I'm pretty proud of all the ridiculousness I have managed to fit into my 23 years.

I played football for my county, which is something of an achievement considering I'm a geek.
I got all that shitty mental illness bollocks out the way with in my early teens.
I played in some very fun bands as a teenager and participated in an enjoyable but small music scene.
Survived horribly traumatic cancer treatment whilst taking my A-Levels.
I worked as a writer in another equally brilliant music scene and got to tour with some scary rock bands.
Hopefully got those messy alcohol and drug addictions out of the way for good.
Finally got my degree after three long years at university.
Managed to see quite a bit of the world, hopefully I'll see the rest some other time.
I have a nice house and a career with a future.

The only trouble is....I'm bored shitless now. The last couple of years have been totally consumed by work. I'm either at work, commuting to work or too tired to do anything but post bollocks on this forum. Did anyone else find the transition into adulthood a bit fucking boring? Right now, all I can see in my future is getting fat and bald in my boring office job.

tommydski wrote:I'm pretty proud of all the ridiculousness I have managed to fit into my 23 years.

Woah. Did you mean 32 years?

If not, you've got about two years to add conquering Asia Minor and North Africa to your resume. Get on it!

tommydski wrote:The only trouble is....I'm bored shitless now. The last couple of years have been totally consumed by work. I'm either at work, commuting to work or too tired to do anything but post bollocks on this forum. Did anyone else find the transition into adulthood a bit fucking boring? Right now, all I can see in my future is getting fat and bald in my boring office job.

You have to be more proactive about doing interesting things as you get older - at least that's been my experience. You really need to force yourself out of your comfort zone - try different stuff - otherwise you will get stuck in the day-to-day mundane bullshit. That will surely lead to a slow, boring death. Growing old is inevitable - becoming old and boring is unforgivable

tommydski wrote:Survived horribly traumatic cancer treatment whilst taking my A-Levels.

Wow. I was going to make some clever-dick comment regarding your youthful presence on this thread, then I read this. I'm sorry that you had to go through this, but I'm so glad you got through it. You're a tough cookie. Salut!