I forgot to post this bizarre missive from the Evening Chronicle (local Newcastle newspaper) letters page a couple of weeks back:

I THINK it is a disgrace sacking Sam Allardyce. It should be the players because half the time they stand like tins of milk unopened and I don’t know what Terry McDermott’s job is but he is hopeless.
PS. The ladies are more entertaining.

My new band is called 'Tins of Milk Unopened'.

African Cup Of Nations, thoughts so far:

- the goalkeepers are almost uniformly short and rubbish. Flap flap flap.

- the predominant tactics seem to be a disorganised bastardisation of Italian Catenaccio, in that the defending team will allow the attacking team to get to the edge of the penalty area unchallenged, and then hope that having seven players behind the ball will be enough

- this frequently leads to the sight of a left-back with ideas above his station attempting to dribble around four players in the D of the penalty area

- it also leads to some breathtaking breakaway football (Egypt 4-2 Cameroon)

- Adidas have taken the ball another step closer to the 'Wembley' plastic balls of our English youth, meaning that 'high and wide' is the favoured destination of many shots

- that said, there have been some stunning long range goals

- the Angolan striker that the Dirty Reds have just signed, Manucho, scored an amazing header last night

- despite arguably having the best squad and being managed by Berti Vogts, Nigeria look astonishingly disorganised - tripping over each other, getting in the way of their own shots

- Ivory Coast started badly but look strong; I like the Black Antelopes of Angola too (with Leeds' Rui Marques); Egypt took Cameroon apart but still conceded two; all of Group D look good (especially Senegal) and it's set up nicely with two draws so far.

- It only took til the second day for the required floodlight failure.

It's been enjoyable. Not sure how much I'll catch over the weekend, but it's shaping up to be a good tournament. And the BBC coverage is pretty damn good too; the half time show, featuring an email-driven '606' with Garth Crooks and Leroy Rosenior is actually interesting, instead of dwelling on the usual turgid 'was that a handball/dive/penalty' so-called debates.

daniel robert chapman wrote:Garth Crooks

I'll tell you what though, I cannot stand Garth Crooks. He makes me so mad!

The only redeeming feature is that despite having the normal number of eyes for a human being, he manages to look just like one of these:


Garth Crooks

Alien from Toy Story

I always get the impression that Garth Crooks knows what he's talking about and that his opinions are sound. However he suffers from two major problems: 1) he isn't as clever as he thinks he is and 2) his pattern of speech is just bizarre.

Last night he was asked for his thoughts on the formative experience of African footballers in England, and his answer was something like

Well, even early, ALBERT JOHANNESON... at LEEDS UNITED... andImeantremendousskilljusttremendousskill... and even, LAAAATEEEEER PLAAAYEEERS... still, verydifficultto - sometimes - in a very, REAL SENSE - adapt. Very difficult - but - ROLE MODELS - those that came through - those that came through - ROLE MODELS - tremendouslyimportantforthedevelopmentofthegametremendouslyimportant - HISTORICALLY - and we can only reeeeeeeaaaap - the benefits.

I mean, you know what he's saying - it's just a shame he always says it like that.

And yes, he is the worst interviewer I have heard in football:

Brian - a 3-0 win - marvellous stuff - three goals.

Er, which part of that was a question, Garth?

He blatantly had speech training before he became a presenter. If you ever hear his accent when he was a player, he sounded completely different. He really irritates me.

Leeds have made another signing in the shape of Nigerian striker Enoch Showunmi. His track record doesn't exactly cry 'world class' but if he can hold the ball up and get on the end of the crosses that are supposedly going to be raining in from Sweeney and Johnson then I wouldn't mind. Or at least that is the theory.

We've also sent our Captain out on loan. Yeah....

tommydski wrote:We've also sent our Captain out on loan. Yeah....

To Hartlepool. Don't forget he was also 'caretaker assistant manager' after Gus Poyet left.

The idea has some merit, in getting him some fitness, as Thompson has struggled to play more than hour for most of this season. Wise did try to put an absurd spin on it though, pointing out that while at Hartlepool Thompson would be playing against three or four of our promotion rivals; his implication was that Thompson was off to transform Pools into a footballing machine so Leeds could fight for promotion on two fronts. Yeah...

From Popbitch a few months ago:

Garth Crooks spotted on a Central Line tube reading a book called "Staying Pure in a Sex Charged World"

jongoodwin wrote:From Popbitch a few months ago:

Garth Crooks spotted on a Central Line tube reading a book called "Staying Pure in a Sex Charged World"

with a face like his, I don't reckon that would be too hard

Those of you who made it into the FA Cup fantasy competition: don't forget, the deadline is tonight!

http://facup.cyki.com

daniel robert chapman wrote:Those of you who made it into the FA Cup fantasy competition: don't forget, the deadline is tonight!

http://facup.cyki.com

done.