My dog died yesterday, she was 11 1/2 but it happened suddenly at the end of a perfectly normal day. One min we are all laying on the couch watching The Lady from Shanghai, and she got down off the couch to get water or go to bed in her room, then we heard a sound. It sounded like like she had "the zoomies", something she would do on occasion to let me know to shut the door. I walk in but see vomit, and her on the ground in an odd place. She couldn't stand and was breathing very strange. After a few minutes of deciding if this was something that might pass or not, we decided to take her to the 24 hr emergency vet. I wasn't sure how we'd get her in the car as she is a over 100 lbs mastiff, but for whatever reason, she stood up and beelined it to the car, it would be the last time she used her legs (maybe her last lil gift to me). We drove what was the longest 25 min of my life to the vet. They were waiting for us with a stretcher, we went right in with them to the emergency room as they tried to stabilize her. You sort of start to disassociate as everything is happening, but a couple min I hear "she has no heartbeat" and it's over. We sit in a back room with her body and say goodbye. Everything happened so fast and didn't feel real.
She was the sweetest dog I have ever had the gift to know, all she wanted was for my wife and I (and her) to be in the same room together. I feel such deep (DEEP) sadness right now, like I am embarrassed to tell you how awful I feel and what a bobbery mess I am. I feel awful that she didn't get a softer death. That she was surrounded by strangers, probably scared. She deserved to die quietly laying in her spot or outside in the sun, but I could not give that to her. I didn't want her to suffer or feel any pain. I wish we got a better goodbye. I miss her so much. As someone who just doesnt have a ton of friends, she was my best friend (god that sounds so stupid to type out) and the deafening silence in our house is awful even with music or tv on. The absence of getting the pleasure of feeding and walking her is gone and I dread 4:30pm because thats our walk time, and I dont get to do that now.
Anyways, I am sorry for sharing such personal story, but I needed to put it somewhere. If you have one, hug your fuzzy companion for me. If anyone of you would have got to meet Zelda, she would have liked you.