Dear Jay Z Black Album,

Sadly, I am not black.

Your friend,
W.T.

On the Beach,
It took me years to find you, but I will never forget you.

The Boot ain't happy, neither are the kids.

Love,
Me

My Own Prison,
You weren't even mine, you belonged to a 17 year old girl. But I took the initiative and threw you over the Tappan Zee Bridge. I have no regets, but I do have one question, what's the bottom of the Hudson taste like?

Always and Forever,
-p.

Dear Harvest,

First I'd like to apologize for the way my father ignored you for so many years, making you sleep in the closet next to Steve Martin - A Wild And Crazy Guy, and your cousin Deja Vu. I am glad I've found you, and I am glad to listen when you tell me what a cold, dark place your world has been for the past 20 years. I love you, and others love you too.

The young man singing on you makes me so sad sometimes. Please tell him that all is not lost. The world isn't always such a cold, dark place. Please tell him his momma and daddy love him, and I'm sure there are people in his life he can turn to in his time of need. Sometimes the ones you need most are right under your nose, ya know? So sad, this young man.

Also, give my regards to the young man playing the drums. Tell him he is a good guy, he probably needs it.

Much Love, and see you soon!
-Wiggins

Dear ONoffON

I was skeptical of you at first because I had been burned by your type before. But you lived up to your reputation and you didn't let me down. Thank you so much.


Yours forever,
El P

Dear Tago Mago

You're still the greatest. Out of all the great records that made me a blow-hard, you are the one I still blow-hardest over.

I will never have more than 5-10 close friends because of you.

I'm sorry I ever called you "The greatest krautrock record of all time", what was it that I was thinking?

Put 'er there, mate.
Big Dave.

steve wrote:Dear first Ramones album,

Look at this shit. Can you fucking believe this shit? Jesus. At least you didn't live to see it. Except for Tommy, Marky, CJ and Richie. Who don't really count.

But seriously, what the fuck. I miss you man.

Tommy wrote Blitzkrieg Bop and I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend. He counts if anyone does.

Dear St. Anger,

Never before had I imagined how beautiful a coffee can snare could sound until I heard it from you. Never before had I been so taken by such sweet poetry until you had me at "My lifestyle determines my deathstyle". Was it love at first sight? I'm really not sure, but I do know that when I was penniless and hungry and the only way out from under was to sell you for cash at Reckless Records, I know that you were not the only one with tears in your eyes. I also could tell by the face of the record store clerk that he too did not want me to part with you. It was love, if only for a short while. I later tried to move on by seeking out Reload on vinyl, but the workers at Metal Haven clearly did not want our love to come to life. I was kicked out of the store as soon as it's name was mentioned. I know I will find you again...someday.

I love you.

H-GM wrote:Dear Too Fast For Love,

I can give a rat's ass about what these snooty, intellectual, grody punks think--bunch of freakin' twerps. You are so raw and glammy. I've known people like you before, and your kind always keeps me happy. Go on with the show, my friend.

X's & O's
Randy

P.S. Even though you blew the right rear speaker in my Chevette, I still think you're pretty cool. It's been a long time since I let you take me to the top, but I have no doubt that "Live Wire" will still do the trick. I think it's charming that you stole a title from AC/DC--you probably thought you'd never make it out of the bars. Maybe you shouldn't have, but then I never would've met you. And I'm glad I did or I'd have never read The Dirt, one of the most hilarious books ever "written."

Dear Steady Diet of Nothing-

You are a big part of the reason I don't suck right now.

BFF,
Peri