Christopher J. McGarvey wrote:

Bart: Teamwork is overrated.
Homer: Huh?
Bart: Think about it. I mean, what team was Babe Ruth on? Who knows.
Lisa+Marge: Yankees.
Bart: Sharing is a bunch of bull, too. And helping others. And what's all this crap I've been hearing about tolerance?
Homer: Hmm. Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

"Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter" has been a saying in my household for as long as it's been a household. Excellent.

Prove me wrong children. Prove me wrong.

School counselor: You're son is gay.

Marge: What?!!!! Bart's gay??!!!

School counselor: Bart? Oh, sorry.


*puts away Milhouses folder.

Ahh, Troy McClure..

apes:hey can talk he can talk!!!!
Dr. Zeus: Ican SIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGG!

as we go twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom.....

Krusty is leafing through a script of King Lear, in which he is unaccountably playing the lead.

Whoa, this material stinks. I'm going to have to punch it up on the fly! Oh, I got one. How do you make a King Lear? Put the Queen in a bikini!

[boos and hisses]

Tough crowd. They're booing Shakespeare!

In the episode "Half Decent Proposal" when Homer is on the roof of the school looking down into the fake prom.

"Oh no, If Marge marries Artie, I'll never be born!"


This line is funny on at least three levels.

1. It parodies Back To The Future.
2. They're not really in the past.
3. Marge isn't his mother.

The combination of these three gags in one sentence made me laugh like a motherfucker when I first saw it.

Kent Brockman - So Mr. Wolfcastle, tell us about your new movie, 'My Son is a Teenage Nerd'.

Reiner Wolfcastle - "It's a moviee where my son goes to college and returns as a nerrrd."

Kent Brockman - "Sounds pretty funny!"

Reiner Wolfcastle - "It is not a comedy."

Krusty - There are only two rules in television: Don't swear and don't whip it out.

Bart:Oh, P-U, what were you drinking, gasoline?
Krusty: Yes, I was drinking gasoline