iembalm wrote:I think Rangers are going to lose the league and the UEFA Cup, but win the Scottish Cup. I don't see Manchester United losing Sunday. Chelsea either, but that will be moot.

It's been an interesting season. Obviously I'm disappointed with Hearts and Tottenham. Looks like Berbatov is leaving, but Spurs should be all right - with Ramos getting his team in for next year they should do well in the league, and the UEFA Cup should be wide open for them. I don't know what to think about Hearts though; looks like a rudderless ship up there.

A is for my authority
Which many players seem to question,
Thinking they are somehow going to make me change my mind
B is for babies
Which a lot of managers cry like
After a decision has not gone their way
C is for the continual criticism I receive from the touchline -
Get back in your technical area!
D is for the dunderheads
Who seem to think we have a conspiracy
Against their particular team
E is for the eerie silence that echoes around the ground
After I've booked the home team's player,
And its obvious to everyone that he deserved it
F is the farce into which most games would descend if we weren't there
G is for the gnarled face of someone who's on £90,000 a week,
And reckoned he should have had a throw in
H is for handball
Which has to be intentional and very rarely is -
If only people would study the rules more
I is for innocence, pleaded by many a doe-eyed defender
After they've just scythed down that tricky winger
J is for ju-jitsu, which i quite intend to display given a dark alley
And some of the narky blerts I've encountered
K is for the kissing of the badge -
How ridiculous that looks 6 months later when they're at another club
L is for lip reading, at which you don't need to be an expert
To see how odious some people are
M is for the mistakes we sometimes make -
Surely a bit of controversy is part of the games appeal?
N is for the numbskull who, during the boxing day game,
Asks me what else I got for Christmas besides my whistle -
An afternoon with your wife mate
O is for offside
Which many forwards tell me they simply could not have been
P is for the penalty shootout -
Great drama and no pressure on me
Q is the quiet word I sometimes need to have
With some of the more fiery participants
I usually choose the word 'pleat'
R is for running backwards,
A difficult skill which the pundits never seem to appreciate
S is for the suggestion that i should have awarded a card of some sort
To a player who's just been awarded a free kick
Sorry, I got all that wrong -
The S again
Okay, the S is the suggestion that I should show a card to an opponent
By a player who's been awarded a free kick;
He himself is more in danger of getting one for that
T is for the 21 man brawl,
Which is basically an embarrassing scene of pushing and shoving
U is for the umpire which I sometimes wish I'd been instead -
You never hear a cricket crowd shouting "who's the bastard in the hat?"...
V is for vitriol, vilification, vendetta and volley of verbal abuse -
Some good bird noises there by the way
W is for Walter Pidgeon
Who plays Mr Griffiths in 'How Green Was My Valley'
Whom I may have started to sound like during this song
'Where was the light I thought to see in your eye' -
He says that to a young hound played by roddy McDowall
X represents the sarcastic kiss planted on my forehead by the swarthy Portugese center half who I just dismissed
Y is for Yate,
The kind of town which referees come from
And the Z
Well, the Z could be for Zidane, Zico, Zola, Zubizaretta, Zoff
Even Zondervan
But is in fact for the zest with which we approach our work
Without this zest for the game we wouldn't become refs
And without refs, well - zero
See also Zatopek, Zeus
and Zeal Monachorum
I have a caravan there
Static, naturally.

tommydski wrote:* The shortest goalkeeper I have ever seen is Kieren Westwood.

daniel robert chapman wrote:

tommydski wrote:* The shortest goalkeeper I have ever seen is Kieren Westwood.