195
by Bambouche_Archive
13-years ago my best friend and I were in a post-goth neo-industrial avant electronic death metal musique abstraite hardcore outfit called:
SEMEN IN HIS UNDERWEAR AT THE TIME OF THE ARREST
You probably won't be surprised to learn we never played live. We recorded ourselves quite a bit, as we were both unemployed at the time (that's part of what got us evicted from that apartment). The name came from a book about violence towards women, describing an instance of being able to prove guilt because the criminal was caught with the evidence in his trousers.
That particular string of words was so overwhelming and creepy to me. I just knew it would be a great band name. SO NOT CRAP! My roommate was kinda iffy. He was more concerned with the name being able to fit on the spine of a tape. Fuck him, though! The name was genius. I just knew it.
That is, until...
There was this Sam Goody in the mall (Eureka, California) where the woman from Sake worked. Any of you who are familiar with Sake know they were a great band. A brother (bass) and sister (violin, vocals) Japanese(?) team that were incredible. There were two other people in the band, but I can't recall them at all.
At the Sam Goody, they had one of those life-sized Mariah Carey cardboard cut-outs ("Dreamlover" era) that my roommate and I thought would look smashing in our living room. Since we'd been to quite a few Sake shows, we figured we had an in.
We went to the mall and the gal from Sake was working, I approached, "Hey, aren't you in Sake?" After we exchanged pleasantries, I enquired about Mariah.
"Well, I guess I could put it on reserve for you? It's not set to leave the floor until next month."
She was a little puzzled as to why my roommate and I wanted it. I had a bit of a crush on this woman, and seeing this conversation drift in the direction of pervy weirdo-ness, I quickly changed the subject back to music, "my friend and I are in a band too."
"Oh?" she asked, "You guys play out?"
"Uh, no... right now we're focusing on recording." [I'm pretty sure that I dropped this industry vernacular thinking it would woo her? Ahh, youth!]
Then she asked me what our band name was.
I blurted it out. So proud. Glowing, probably. Thinking myself a bastion of feminism. After all, I read books!
Then her face wrinkled. She looked pretty creeped out. It was at this second that I realized the name could be taken several ways. She quickly told me someone from the store would call when Mariah was ready to be picked up. (No one ever called.)
I left Sam Goody thinking SEMEN IN HIS UNDERWEAR AT THE TIME OF THE ARREST = Crap.
I still have a Sake sticker on my guitar case.