Dear Mingus at Antibes

I fucking saved you man. It's because of me you no longer languish in that charity shop. You fucking owe me. Yeah? Yeah? Too right you fucking do. Looking back, you were too easy. 50p I fucking paid. Too right I'm suspicious. Just to stop you hanging out with No Jacket Required and his pal Now That's What I call Music Vol.2. You owe me big fucking time. And I still don't understand a word you fucking say.

Yours etc.

PS. gatefold sleeves impress nobody, big fella.

Dear Charalambides' Houston,

I am entranced by your beautiful echoing voices and mesmerizing guitar. I am putting you in my bag tonight so I remember to listen to you on my way to work tomorrow. I hope your case doesn't get cracked by my Campbell's microwavable bowl of soup during transit. If so, please understand that CD cases may come and go, but your music is timeless.

Kindest regards,
John

Dear Neil Young's "On The Beach",

For some stupid reason the past 9 years out of 10
working in a record store i would pass you by (BUY).
I know you hadn't been reissued on cd.
But that really ain't an excuse because we did have you on bootleg cd. I am an ass for not throwing you on to discover your sublte beauty. A true jewel
filled with great songs.

It took us awhile, but i am so happy we have found each other.

El Glynnis

Dear Double Nickles On The Dime,

thanks for making the seemingly impossible possible and making it okay to be "different." Lord knows what High School would have been like without you. I like that you'll always be around like a good friend...we don't have to talk every day, but when you call it instantly goes back to the strong relationship we've always had.

Dear Future Days

Thank you making pot sound good...its always nice to see you on the rainy days. All your peers are suckers compared to you.

Dear Black Saint & The Sinner Lady
thanks for getting me through the rough years...you just made it so much easier. I have a better sense of what heartbreak and dementia is like, and I have your assistance to thank for it.

Dear Ozma and Yank Crime

thanks for making me want to fuck every woman in the room whenever you two started up. Seriously, if I were a more unsavory man I'd be registered with the cops whenever I heard feedback.

Dear Africa/Brass

Thank you for making me cry and gaze into the endless night sky more times than I can imagine. Whenever I hear you creep around the corner, i bite my bottom lip a bit and prepare to be a mess for the next 45 minutes.

Dear Tejas

hey...what's up? I'll never ever be as cool as you...so...yeah, much respect.

Dear Black Sabbath

Did you see that letter I sent to Tejas? They should have passed it on to you next.

Dear "Helter Stupid"-

What makes your garden grow?

P.J.

Dear Beautiful Creature/ Total System Failure,

Thank you both for teaching me how to play guitar. Also for reminding me the difference beween over driven and distorted guitar and what good song writting is about.

Dear Siamese Dream,
I am glad I will never have to listen to you during sex again...I just don't like you.

sex + billy corgan's voice = disgusting

my sympathies.

Dear 154,

I have never known why I did not bring you home earlier. I have loved all up on your sisters, and your cousins, too. I was a little afraid, listening to Wire on the Box and being worried about the differences in your sound. I am 40 Versions, and The 15th, and others also. They are songs about parts of me I had never been able to describe before. But I was worried you would not be as fresh and sharp as those live songs.

Now I have listened to you all the time. Yesterday I was working and didn't listen to anything else except The 15th. I told myself I would let you play though, but each time I went back to that one. Now I know why man from Colorado/Jersey(?) uses your name.

To say that you are a keeper is the most untellable understatement. To counter Burroughs, you never were a headache, and you never were a bore.

Dear that one record by that one band,

Hey man, fuck you!
All these writers said you were the shit and you ended being nothing more than an over-glorified turd.
My ex-girlfriend would force me to listen to your awful music on a regular basis.
I had to have sex to your shitty music.
For shame.
Both you and her can fuck off and die!

Sincerely,
Yours