Define This Band

196
ERawk wrote:
Marsupialized wrote:
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Memo

Date: March 10, 2008

From: Ellen L. Brothers, President of American Girl

To: All American Girl Employees

Due to the success of Hannah Montana, High School Musical, and the Jonas Brothers, and after months of deliberating how to make our entry into the high-profiting Radio-Television Crossover Market (aka the "Radio Disney Market"), we are pleased to announce the newest dolls to our ever-growing family at American Girl: The American Rainbow Family Collection. American Rainbow Family is comprised of multi-cultural dolls from all walks of American life who come together to perform as a highly successful music group. The members are as follows (clockwise from top r-l):

Jamelia: back-up singer. Comes from the slums of Baltimore and has been shuffled through foster care after her mother was put away for crack-cocaine possession. She is the sassy comic relief.

Jimmy Lee: Guitar. Originally from Alabama, is barely literate and lives in a trailer park with his mother and five half-siblings.

Herschel: Bassist. We figured we'd make the bass player Jewish. Originally from New Rochelle, NY and is the only kid who comes from a wealthy family. His mother is the manager of American Rainbow Family and father is a partner at a major New York law firm.

Raul: Drummer. The son of illegal immigrants in San Antonio. His parents face deportation.

Rusty: Singer/Guitarist. The heartthrob from Colorado Springs. The only one with a normal background in a typical suburban setting. Likes football.

Ming: Keys. Hailing from San Fransisco, she is the child prodigy. Also helps Jimmy Lee with reading and everyone else with math.

Within the next few months, we will once again be teaming up with Julia Roberts' film company to produce a five part mini-series called Introducing the American Rainbow Family set to debut in January 2009 on ABC Family with an option to develop into a regular weekly series. We are anticipating completion of the casting call for the mini-series by next week. We are also negotiating with Clear Channel for a subsequent live tour the following Fall.

Once again, please welcome the American Rainbow Family into your family and help welcome into the families of millions across America.

P.S. Please remember what we learned from the "Marisol Incident" in the event of protests that call our products "racist" and appear to "enforce stereotypes".

Thank you.


Jesus Christ you're too good at this.
tocharian wrote:Cheese fries vs nonexistence. Duh.

Define This Band

199
ERawk wrote:So Good I had to use it twice:

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The Rollins Roland band

Where does a 300-lb Henry Rollins play? Anywhere he wants to. Seasoned punker and performance artist Henry Rollins is looking towards the future, and that future is in electronic flamenco jazz opera. Backed by his cousins Guido and Cecilia on guitar and vocals, Henry's tickling the plastic ivories and tkilling us softly with his song.
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