trilonaut wrote:

Alcoholophile wrote:

trilonaut wrote:i was totally shocked -- as far as i can remember, i've only heard this word (with the ER ending, not the A ending -- two different words as far as i can tell), said in full malice, by a white person, at or about a black person, once before, and that was in la on the hollywood strip. this was really disturbing to hear in my hometown and to hear this guy say it like he didn't think we'd be offended

so if he said "NIGGA" and NOT "NIGGER" it would've been ok with you?
how does that make any sense?

no it wouldn't have been ok. the only distinction i'm making is that while i've only heard the ER version used by white people twice that i can remember (this being the second), i've heard the A version used a billion times by black people and far too often by white people trying to act "ghetto". i don't approve of that either, but i think it's not as outright malicious and nasty -- more misguided and stupid. several times have i heard white people addressing each other with the A version and i give them crap for it.

really, the only reason i "pussyed out" of saying something to the guy is because my i didn't want to deal with it in a way that made my girlfriend angry or uncomfortable and the vibe she was giving was "don't mess with it"... maybe she was being overprotective because she's overprotective me and this guy (like every guy out there) is bigger than me (though i'm sure it wouldn't have come to violence anyway), maybe she was being nonconfrontational cause she has this catholic turn the other cheek thing sometimes, maybe she was letting her love of dogs and appreciation of this guy's dog somehow interfere with any desire to yell at this guy (afterwards i said i wanted to tell this guy "fuck you and your dog" and she said "it's not his dog's fault! we should dognap that dog away from him" did i mention that she really wants a dog? and the she loves the terrible pet shop boys song "i want a dog"?)

i feel i'm definitely a more confrontational and impulsive person when i'm alone but friends can be a bit of a leash which can be frustrating. i have one good friend who is very much like "don't make a scene", you know?

but really, i think the maturity/self-control/don't-make-a-scene thing is generally the wrong route. no one in history is ever remembered for restraint. history is made by people who take a risk and make a fuss, even if they may misfire or look stupid sometimes.

Your Cap'n Speakin' wrote:I was getting gas not long ago and a black man, roughly 50-55, asked for money. I politely said no and was immediately hit with "Thanks a lot, honky!" This was the first time in my life I ever had that term thrown at me. I live in the south, so I have heard the n-word in enough contexts, and used by both races, to be kind of numb to it. Not blase, or unfeeling about it, but numb. I generally accept that, from my experience, it's an inflammatory utterance used by ignorant persons. After I left the gas station, I had to surmise that this man was old enough to have experienced much of the ugliness of racism in his youth and adult life. I guess he felt great satisfaction in assailing me with his verbal barb. I just went on about my day and later had great sex with my bitch. Life's good, HONKIEZZZZZZ!

Nina wrote:

Alcoholophile wrote:Something tells me that if Scott was standing right in front of you, reciting that days events, you would not be saying this. You would most likely "kept quiet and rant about it anonymously online" under the username Alcoholophile. Really, there is some rational thought involved in these situations when you are a grown-up. Fuck.

scott wrote:
The single most striking thing about the *vibe* I got the first time I was in NY was how it felt really, really un-racist. Like there had been so many people of so many different ethnicities interacting with each other...

242sumner wrote:Are they really interacting with each other?
In multicultural times, more and more people are concerned about their own ethnicity and heritage.
Violent racism, open racism was replaced by some kind of mutual indifference,which is not much better.

Alcoholophile wrote:it bothered "Scott" though, and we see how he reacted, and my point is, he's gonna live a real frustrated angry life if this is the kind of thing that gets his goat, andhe never acts on it.

Skronk wrote:

242sumner wrote:Are they really interacting with each other?
In multicultural times, more and more people are concerned about their own ethnicity and heritage.
Violent racism, open racism was replaced by some kind of mutual indifference,which is not much better.

Mutual indifference is a hell of a lot better than an all-out brawl. Live and let live.