dontfeartheringo wrote:The bass player in my old band (it's always the bass player)..."

Isn't it normally the drummer?

Was brought up a Christian and used to go to a Christian camp type thing.
As you can imagine this was full of idiots. But one year myself and a friend - Andrew - befriended the camp simpleton - Martin he was called (pronounced Maaten - in his thick Yorkshire accent).

On our first day we'd been playing footy with him and his friend (whose name I forget but who was almost as stupid) afterwards, before going over to the dinner hall, we waited for them in the dorm corridor as they got changed . After a few moments Maa ten came to the top of the stairs wearing shirt, underpants, socks and shoes.

Myself and Andrew just looked confused before Maaten declared 'oops, av fohgotten tuh twousers!'

I have never met, before or since, someone so stupid that they would put their shoes on without realising that they were not wearing trousers.
This level of stupidity obviously indicates Maaten has 'special difficulties' and I should never have been chuckling at his expense yet - all these years later - as I still chuckle at the thought - a sliver of envy sits in me when I consider how blissful it must be to be that mind shockingly stupid.

I wonder if he votes.

An old boss of mine...

-regularly uses the word "forwarded" as in "going forwarded, we need to do XYZ"

-sprayed her laptop with WD40, thinking it was canned air.

-thinks iactrical is a word.

-thought Katrina was caused by a secret military weather machine.

-considers "Coast to Coast" as the "news"

Iactrical?

What word is she striving for here? What should this word mean?

We think she was trying to say "integral" but not sure.

the sentence was
"Reservations are an iactrical part of business."

I work with someone who once said "I don't eat roast beef because I don't like raw meat."

tommydski wrote:You missed a opportunity there, you could have had her believing the Fab Four were from any one of those. Could have been pretty hilarious down the line.

I didn't want any part of helping her continue down the stupidity path, so I laughed at her hysterically.

18-year-old me as a first-year NYU fuckwit, walking up Third Avenue with two other first-year NYU fuckwits I've only just met: the richkid nephew of a well-known TV producer and a girl who is increasingly growing sweet on him. I ask: "Is that dorm there, Alumni Hall, a graduate residence? That's just grad students, right?"

Guy-fuckwit rolls his eyes and gives me a pitying frown, saying "Dude, that's so stupid I'm not going to give it a response," at which girl-fuckwit chimes in with a half-guffawed "yeah".

I ask him back: "The fuck you mean?"

He responds with "Look, it's called 'Alumni Hall', so obviously anyone living there has already graduated". I try to argue the point but he is deaf to it and tells me to "just let it go".

He took us to his big fuckwit richkid apartment and served us Chivas Regal while bragging some more. I think she fucked him. I left NYU will all due haste.

johnnyshape misheard wrote:And all the world is football shaped.
It's just for me to kick it's face.

Sorry, I'm an XTC geek. It's "kick in space." Don't worry, mishearing lyrics is not to my knowledge a demonstration of one's dumbness. In fact, a lot of what I've seen here in this thread is more faith or opinion-based.

Shit, mine doesn't REALLY qualify as wanton, unqualified, wholesale imbecility, but I believe some of you, particularly those of a certain age with knowledge of the graphic arts will find it amusing.

I once had a supervisor (art department manager) who expressed concern that the red keylines I was drawing (yes, this was before Aldus PageMaker) would print red in the BLACK AND WHITE PUBLICATION we were working on.

cesb wrote: I once had a supervisor (art department manager) who expressed concern that the red keylines I was drawing (yes, this was before Aldus PageMaker) would print red in the BLACK AND WHITE PUBLICATION we were working on.

I've admittedly done stuff like that and then wanted to punch myself in the face.

So I work in a regular 9-5 type office and there is one girl who is quite attractive and dumb as a brick. At the point of this story, she had been working there at least a year. One time someone was talking about all the work that had to be done and made a joke along the lines of 'fuck it, we're leaving all that for the night shift.'

Her response: We have a night shift?

Now this is an office that is a ghost town after 5pm every day. she also had no idea why US citizens are not allowed to travel to Cuba (which I thought was common knowledge until I asked a few more people I work with one day.)