Don't know anything of the details, but my mother has totally lost her marbles post-radiotherapy. I know high doses of steroids can fuck with memory, but this is full on addressing the dead lunacy. Physically she's not at all weakened by any of it, which makes it much harder to process.

A_Man_Who_Tries wrote: Tue Sep 21, 2021 6:21 am Don't know anything of the details, but my mother has totally lost her marbles post-radiotherapy. I know high doses of steroids can fuck with memory, but this is full on addressing the dead lunacy. Physically she's not at all weakened by any of it, which makes it much harder to process.

So, they're changing her steroids and some other meds, in case that's causing some of the trouble, but the suspicion from the Macmillan nurse is that it has progressed to her brain. She's not in any substantial pain and recognises immediate family, if not anything that's really going on, but she isn't troubled by it which is a huge comfort.

Between the pandemic and post-Brexit bureaucracy, me and my siblings are unable to leave where we are for the forseeable. Awful as it sounds, maybe her mind going isn't the worst if we can't get back for farewells, just provided it doesn't drag out.

I’m sorry to hear about that FMAMWT. Treatments for cancer can be amazing and also heartbreaking/life altering, and even when you’re prepared for them they can still be tough.

I can only speak for my situation, but as I’ve gone through it with varying members of my family, not only is it a motherfucker physically, the mental side isn’t discussed as much as I think it should be. I admire anyone who can go through it at all - chemo, radiation, hormone therapies, the endless stream of doc appts…..it’s brutal.

What you’re going with your mom sounds really hard, and I feel for you. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, take things one day at a time and don’t get too caught up in what is completely out of your control.

Fuck this awful disease right in the fucking ear. I hate it.

So Sorry, MWT. as was just said, the mental and emotional aspects are under discussed.

The effect on the brain goes beyond the disease. There really are levels of trauma that are so hard to identify. My heart is with you and yours.

Reading this thread breaks my heart.

Still hoping to get my mum home on Monday so she can die there, but don't think she'll make it. Have said all that needed to be said, just to be sure, and we are in a good place. In a way I'm grateful it got to her brain. The pandemic meant no visitors, and she thought all the facetiming was in person anyway.

She's at peace with everything now. It's a great comfort, how ready she is. The old battleaxe.

Vibracobra wrote: Fri Sep 24, 2021 3:14 pm Reading this thread breaks my heart.

Me too. My thoughts are with all yous FMs who are dealing with this shit.

Fuck cancer in the ear indeed.

this past Monday marked the 10 year survivor point. I celebrated by being back home in Portland, taking a hike on Powell Butte with my folks, dinner with my best friend and his 3 kids.

I'm on disability now, got a hearing aid a few weeks ago. (brain radiation treatment destroyed my right ears functioning, and has impaired cognitive abilities). I'm not gonna pretend it's been easy, or fun. I am alive, though, and turning 46 today, an age I never believed I would see, even before diagnosis or getting sober.

The old board was the first place I went public with my diagnosis. The amount of support and love from this community has been immeasurahble. I don't possess the cognition or energy to thank EVERYONE individually, anymore. Just know that if you were in the community, saw me at a BBQ, or shipped me a record, I love you, and don't know that any of this would have happened without you.

Be Well

Thank You

Nick

So my mum made it home, but it's a matter of days now. My younger brother has made it back. My older brother will make it back on Friday.

Meanwhile, I've been on the phone all fucking day to try and get the permission I need to leave the country, and nobody is as much as picking up. It's days like this that end in 'incidents'. I'm holding far more anger than is either healthy or expendable.

A_Man_Who_Tries wrote: Tue Oct 26, 2021 9:32 am So my mum made it home, but it's a matter of days now. My younger brother has made it back. My older brother will make it back on Friday.

Meanwhile, I've been on the phone all fucking day to try and get the permission I need to leave the country, and nobody is as much as picking up. It's days like this that end in 'incidents'. I'm holding far more anger than is either healthy or expendable.

I'm so sorry