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Tricks of the Trade: Going on Tour

Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 6:38 pm
by matthewbarnhart_Archive
So many wonderful suggestions.

My only suggestion (based on personal experience): no matter how wonderful the idea may seem at the time, DO NOT impersonate each other for an hour straight in the middle of a six-hour drive.

This is a bad, bad idea. A man almost died.

mb

Tricks of the Trade: Going on Tour

Posted: Tue Apr 12, 2005 8:44 pm
by tmidgett_Archive
matthewbarnhart wrote:So many wonderful suggestions.

My only suggestion (based on personal experience): no matter how wonderful the idea may seem at the time, DO NOT impersonate each other for an hour straight in the middle of a six-hour drive.

This is a bad, bad idea. A man almost died.

mb


haha! this is playing w/fire! i know this beautiful story. i mean, ugly story.

the one thing (perhaps the only thing) no one has touched on is the tendency to develop feelings somewhere between irritation and hatred for people you otherwise like very much (perhaps love). this kind of thing is highly likely, especially, in my experience, once you head out over the two-week mark.

if it happens, the best thing to do is get away from everyone for a while. if you are in the van or a shitty motel or someplace else where you cannot be by yourself, pull something over your face and lie down. with earplugs in. i spent a lot of time in the van like this, even when i wasn't irritated or hating anyone. you need 'alone time,' and sometimes that is the only way to get it.

earplugs in the van, that's a good one. road noise is a real deadener. also:

>>>No band or music stickers on your van!

i agree 1,000,000%. it's good for theft prevention and good for keeping curious cops off your back.

speaking of vans, if anyone is interested in a 1997 dodge ram B2500 in fighting trim, let me know and i can give you the details

tm

Tricks of the Trade: Going on Tour

Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 1:22 am
by morze_Archive
if you don't have a cell phone that is nationwide- get a phone card or something.
your own personal one.

for conveinence and safety reasons, sure, but mostly just to call people back home every now and then.

man, i could not have survived the really LONG tours without being able to call my roomate and hear him tell me about mundane things like how my cat is doing or how so-and-so's birthday party last weekend was.

i find it's a surprisingly simple but surprisingly effective stress-reliever for when your bandmates get up your ass. and it also helps you get some private time away from them.

good luck and have fun! :)

Tricks of the Trade: Going on Tour

Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 5:12 am
by SpankMarvin_Archive
If it's a fairly lengthy, warm-weathered tour, it's worth taking a picnic-style food cooler which you can load with ice for gas stations. That way, your snadwich stuffs and fruit do not turn to mush in hours.

Eat fruit.

Buying a thin ground sheet is worth it in case of no sofa space at someone's house.

If you stay over at someone's house, if possible try to unload gear into their hallway. Despite being a huge pain, it's a lot safer than leaving it in the van, and you'll sleep better as a result.

Earplugs. Snoring. This drove me INSANE at points, particularly if anyone had been drinking that night.

Whatever you do, do not eat hot dogs bought from gas stations. I naively did this when I was in the States. The next few hours were hellish.

If you do have to eat out of an evening, try to order the bigger burger which costs a little more, so that you can save half of it to eat for lunch the following day.

It's very easy to snack when stopping at gas stations. If you do this, buy pretzels which are less fatty than jerky.

Again, if it's a lengthy, hot tour - might be worth buying a spare fanbelt, just in case. Ours snapped in the middle of the Utah desert, and we were very lucky it happened very close to a service station.

[Edit] I'm aware that I misspelled "sandwich". I was going to correct it, but I quite like the sound of snadwich.

Tricks of the Trade: Going on Tour

Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 7:42 am
by johnnyshape_Archive
as above plus:

1) Dividing all the necessary non-musical tasks (driving, logistics, money, stage management, merch etc.) into set areas of responsibility amongst the travelling contingent aids group cohesion, trust and helps to avoid 'tour brain death'. You can swap over roles occasionally, but someone has to take charge and everyone should be responsible for at least one non-musical task.

2) Earplugs. As well as the fact you will naturally be taking your custom moulded musicians Elacin plugs, you need the regular kind to deal with snorers, horrid bands, napping in the van, cutting out chat, generally impoving psychological health. I bought a box of 250 of the yellow foam 'Earfit' ones off an industrial safety supplies company for pennies each so they could be disposable.

3). If there is an opportunity to take a shit, take it immediately.

Tricks of the Trade: Going on Tour

Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 10:19 am
by Chapter Two_Archive
morze wrote:if you don't have a cell phone that is nationwide- get a phone card or something.
your own personal one.

for conveinence and safety reasons, sure, but mostly just to call people back home every now and then.

man, i could not have survived the really LONG tours without being able to call my roomate and hear him tell me about mundane things like how my cat is doing or how so-and-so's birthday party last weekend was.


Or you can do like the Dwarves did and call the bass players family and tell them he's dead for a laugh

Tricks of the Trade: Going on Tour

Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 11:16 am
by j_harvey_Archive
Bring a garbage bag for your dirty clothes. You can keep it in your duffle bag, or suitcase, or backpack or wherever you are keeping your clean clothes and just transfer stuff after you have deemed it "dirty". It may make you feel a little like a hobo, but it makes it real easy to find your clean socks.

Also...don't grow a beard while on tour...save that trick for camping.

Tricks of the Trade: Going on Tour

Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 11:22 am
by vockins_Archive
1. Fish, guests, igloo coolers, and summer tours stink after three days.

2. No sexual intercourse without the bag.

3. Tip the bartender every time you are served, drink tickets or no, unless they're dicks. Don't cast judgement too quick on that, though.

4. Toilet paper in the vehicle, always.

5. Tour One I brought The Odyssey and Bleak House to read. Tour Eight I brought Hot Rod, Roadracing World, comic books, and Hunter S. Thompson. Tour Eight was much more sane. Point is, be honest about what's going to keep your mind off of the fact you have been on I-80 for ten hours.

6. Keep a camera on your person at all times. I have a picture of Bushwick Bill and I, about 37 car fire pictures, and a picture of a grasshopper in a burrito I was served. Among others.

7. Ford: No. Mike Watt is really lucky, I guess. Dodge: watch your transmission. Chevy: watch your oil consumption. Eurovan: watch your shift linkage.

8. Like everyone else said, no band stickers. Harley Davidson stickers, Pipefitters Union stickers are good.

9. Send postcards to Mom, Grandma, every day, from every place. They'll be a good read when you see them again, and Mom and Grandma will be thrilled.

10. If you have the means, Madden, MLB 2005, and Gran Turismo tournaments are great. Making the custom team is essential. Watching your bass player go 4 for 5 with 7 RBIs really helps the band dynamic.

11. Buy a nice toiletry bag.

12. Stop at The Madonna Inn in San Luis Obispo for a piece of pie. It's worth taking the 101 instead of the 5. You'll know why when you get there.

Tricks of the Trade: Going on Tour

Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 12:04 pm
by thedishonestdon_Archive
do MadLibs in the van.

seriously.

make 'em raunchy and you'll have amazing in-jokes for the bulk of your tour. plus, it's a way that you can talk to your bandmates without actually talking to them (avoiding the inevitable argument in the middle of nebraska).

Tricks of the Trade: Going on Tour

Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 12:37 pm
by Bloodjet_Archive
Be very careful with 15 passenger vans. They are the most convenient means of travel, but also the most dangerous. If you have to travel in one, put most of the weight as far forward as possible. This will reduce the risk of rollover. Also, try to limit the amount of passengers to 5 (some insurance folks say 9).

from http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/11094/69647
The data showed that only 12.3 percent of the single-vehicle crashes in 15-passenger vehicles resulted in rollover when the vehicle contained less than five occupants. The number jumped to 20.8 percent when the vehicle was loaded with five to nine passengers, and to 29.1 percent when it was loaded with 10 to 15 passengers. Vehicles loaded with more than 15 passengers showed a rollover rate of 70 percent.


Consider that the speaker cabinets, amplifiers, and instruments can easily add up to the weight of several people.

Last, I've been warned by some old guy not to drive a Dodge B3500, as they apparently have the highest rollover/death rate.

If you can, get a limo when touring across country.