Arson Smith wrote:INVISIPEDS:
Jay-walkers, at night, crossing 4 to 6 lanes of busy traffic, in all dark clothing, who look at you in an incredulous manner when you have a near miss.
this happens when people are really high.
I have been this high many times, but fortunately did not decide to cross the interstate. What's happening in their brain is very simple- "Uh... ok... over there. I want to be there. Not here. OK. Right. Annnnnd.....walking... SHIT, what was that?"
This does not excuse their behavior, but it explains it a little. Particularly, the incredulous look. The possibility of traffic didn't really factor into their decision to cross the street. They would have been only slightly more surprised if you'd zipped by in a flying saucer.
Stoned people need guide animals, I think. Everyone should get a specially trained bonobo with an ounce of weed.
This has the added convenience, by the way, of obviating certain types of courtship small talk between stoned people.
When their monkey friends start frantically coupling in the middle of the bar, the more confident stoned person can say "Heh..." and point, and the other stoned person will nod and say "Yeah."
And some time later, one will say "Looks like fun..."
and the other will say "Yeah."
and a suitable interval will pass, where they both think of things to say, then forget to actually say them, until someone says "Y'know, we could...."
whereupon the other will say "Yeah...."
and off they'll go.
Their trained guide monkeys will keep them from walking into traffic on the way.
Everybody wins.