Christopher J. McGarvey wrote:Dear that one record by that one band,

Hey man, fuck you!
All these writers said you were the shit and you ended being nothing more than an over-glorified turd.
My ex-girlfriend would force me to listen to your awful music on a regular basis.
I had to have sex to your shitty music.
For shame.
Both you and her can fuck off and die!

Sincerely,
Yours

was it interpol, "turn on the bright lights"?

Dear New Wave,

Back in '78 my older brother came back from an extended stay in England with you. You were my first exposure to Ramones, Dead Boys, Talking Heads, New York Dolls, The Damned, or Flamin' Groovies. You changed my life.

The really weird thing about you (aside from your misguided name) is that you were released on the Vertigo label, which was mainly known for European Prog music - the very thing that punk was out to destroy. Listening to you now, it brings it all back to me how nobody really knew how to classify this stuff at the time, which was part of why you were so exciting. I have most of this stuff now on individual albums (your Dead Boys tracks are rare early mixes), but you are special and irreplaceble.

Dylan wrote:Dear Gore's Lifelong Deadline [...]

Dearest Lifelong Deadline,

People still think and care about you.

You see? You see?

Love,
sunlore

sunlore wrote:

Dylan wrote:Dear Gore's Lifelong Deadline [...]

Dearest Lifelong Deadline,

People still think and care about you.

You see? You see?

Love,
sunlore

Most dearest Lifelong Deadline

More people than you realise still think and care about you.

You see? You see?

Love

etc.

Dear Second Verses by Drunks With Guns,

We have a problem: This relationship will not make it anywhere if you are constantly too fucked up to, you know, perform. Seriously.
When you start it's like nothing can slow you down - then by side two, you're just not even trying anymore.

But wow, you are INCREDIBLE when you are on.
Ace

Dear Damaged,
You rock. Really. I mean it, man. Your brick-to-the-face production. Your unparalleled audacity. Your uncomprimisng wall of distorted crunches. Everyone in the world should own a copy of you, wether they like you or not.

Dear Loveless,
Why are you the greatest album to listen to while on acid? You're one of the few records I can think of which sound just like the album cover. Until I met you, I didnt truly appreciate the beauty of effects-swamped guitars. Thank you.

Dear Velvet Underground and Nico,
Even though Nico can't seem to pronunce "Clown" correctly, you're something special. You invented indie rock. Don't deny it.

Dear Trout Mask Replica:

You provided me a soundtrack to sleep to in the early nineties. I understand that I was weird then. I stopped listening to you and Zappa for a few years, and listened only to Richard Pryor and W.C Fields at bedtime for a while. Wives only want TV, and not weird humor or music at bedtime.

Big Joan sets up no longer gives me nightmares and now that I sleep alone, I can bring you back into my life. I believe that there is no woman in the world that will accept you as sleepy time music.

DrAwkward wrote:Dear Mr. Bungle Disco Volante,

Remember that time my girlfriend and i fucked while you were playing?

Yeah, that was kinda weird.

Regards,
DrAwk

sounds like an experience. speaking of....

Dear Disco Volante,

everytime i hear you, my head moves one way while my body moves the other. its like some kind of freaky dance, only its love. real fucking freaky love.

you don't even know what you've opened up my mind to.

take care,
cj

edited because i fought with grammar.

Dear Warrant's Dog Eat Dog, the followup to Cherry Pie...

Remember when Columbia House sent you to me, and I didn't send you back in time so I had to keep you, so my roommate and I pretended you were a frisbee and a hockey puck?

Ocean Songs - Dirty Three
You take me high in space, you take me to the deep blue sea !
Again & again, Forever !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Surfer Rosa - Pixies
You're gritty, bitchy, annoyingly inspirational !!
I wish you're my mum !!!!!!!

Kidnapped by Neptune - Scout Niblett
You're such a DUMBFUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wish you'd gang-banged brutally by Neptune & his mates !!!!!!!

In Utero -
Go FUCKING blow your brains out !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You useless Slaaaaaackerrrrr !!!!!!!!!!!!!

So there.