Faiz, you should've just offered to get your mom high.

She was upset with you because you blew an opportune occasion to lecture her, while stoned, on the benefits of marijuana.

your mom smoked my blunt, Dave.

Faiz.

My then-distant father hid the fact he chewed tobacco from my mom through 21 years of marriage. It became a major point of contention during their divorce. Not the tobacco; the deception.

Right after my mom was killed, I had a major confession with my dad where I told him not only about my then-chronic relationship with chronic, but with LSD as well. The honesty of exchange during that conversation was a turning point of my life. For the better.

My most embarrassing moment...

Fourth Grade.

Me: (being an ass)

Substitute teacher: Will you stop that?

Me: Stop what?

Sub.: Stop talking while I'm talking.

Me: Stop MAS-TUR-BATING?

(pin-drop silence)

Sub.: What!?

Me: (ashamed) Ugh?

(again, silence)

Sub: Go out to the hall.

Me: (ashamed) Okay.

The rest is a blur, but I remember feigning sickness during a hallway lecture, feeling embarrassment about my unfunny joke that was about a decade premature. I think I was trying to impress my older brother.

Neil Hamburger would have punched himself in the face had he seen it.



Sorry Mrs. Dickey.

kerble wrote:here's the rub. I have been smoking pot for over twelve years. Casually, habitually, whatever. I've taken years off, and gone back, but I'm always slick. I've never been caught. And here I am, thirty years-old, getting busted with pot by my mom. oh, the shame. and the reason for the bust?




motherfucking peanuts.

Could have been worse Faiz, your mum could have come to visit you at work the other day......

"Is that.....CRACK?"

I too have a stupid and embarrassing story about getting busted for smoking weed, it's not as good as yours but I will post it when I get home from work.

Today I was sitting at my desk and was being bothered by what felt like a mammoth hardened piece of bogger in my nose.
I pulled it out and it felt like it was pulled from behind my eyes (you see I have an allergy and my sinuses become rather blocked)
I exclaimed "Yuss!", as I felt the relief.

A colleague popped her head in the door and said "whats the excitement?"
I didn't have time to answer cos she was looking at the snot on my finger sticking up all proud like.

She looked at me, looked at my finger, then looked uncomfortable and said, "your weird"

I felt like telling her to fuck off and leave me to my nose picking but was too gutted at her reaction.
Is it really that gross? I dunno. But I still feel embarrassed.

kerble wrote:the Sunday before this past Father's Day.....

Man I'm glad my mom was a hippie, she assumes everyone on the planet younger than 35 chain smokes 'grass' as she calls it. I have to tell her I still do or else she'd think there was something wrong with me.

the only drug she got on me about was acid, she overheard me talking about a trip I had had to someone....and I quote 'that shit will fuck up your DNA!'

Rachi wrote:Is it really that gross?

yes

Well, this is not about an act...but kind of embarrassing anyway:

Right under my appartment there is an office (some tax consultants). One of their employees is a breathtakingly beautiful girl. A hottie.

One day someone knocks on my door and when I open some guy from the office pushes me aside, enters my room, goes to the bathroom and yells something like: “This is it! This is the place!” Then he leaves. Right after a janitor knocks and tells me that there is water running down from my appartment. He takes a close look and finds some leak in the wastewater pipe of my toilet. So I call my renter and she sends me someone to fix it. Then I go down to ask how much damage there was in the office. They lead me to a room where all the place is covered with newspapers. The floor, the desk, chairs. As I´m told, one of the employees got drops of water on the head every now and then for weeks… Guess, which one?

Since I know that stains of my poo-poo could possibly still be in her hair she´s not that pretty anymore…

kerble wrote:
oh, the shame.

Maybe if you'd been smoking out of a hookah . . .

Kerble -

If I'd known that was you smoking up, I would have kept your mom in the van for a few minutes longer.

My bad.

= Justin

kerble: I bet if you got a dick-shaped one-hitter, Mama would hit it in a heartbeat.