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Dave, I don't even know what to say. That's a fucking LOT to process all at once.


For the last year, I've had a very steady job. IT generalist stuff. State job, pension, benefits. I'm old enough to be looking down the road to retirement in just under ten years.

So, of course a band I really like, a very PRF friendly band, would ask me to come tour with them in a month, for a month, with the option to be the full time drummer for this band who regularly crosses oceans and shit. A band who's last album KILLS.

My wife is exactly the sort of person to say "You shouldn't quit your job. It's got a pension." and then call me ten minutes later, to say "I've thought about it, and I want to add: unless this is really important to you, in which case, I totally support you."

This has been a really stressful year as she has bounced back from her battle with cancer enough to realize that the kiddo really needs more help with middle school math and science than I can give her. She has really thrown herself into making sure that the kiddo's teachers know her name and don't overlook her just because she has some challenges in the classroom. It's taking a LOT of time away from things like "relaxing" and "doing anything else."

What a terrible time to have a dream come knocking on the door.

Much to consider.

dontfeartheringo wrote: Sun Aug 25, 2024 11:21 pm Dave, I don't even know what to say. That's a fucking LOT to process all at once.


For the last year, I've had a very steady job. IT generalist stuff. State job, pension, benefits. I'm old enough to be looking down the road to retirement in just under ten years.

So, of course a band I really like, a very PRF friendly band, would ask me to come tour with them in a month, for a month, with the option to be the full time drummer for this band who regularly crosses oceans and shit. A band who's last album KILLS.

My wife is exactly the sort of person to say "You shouldn't quit your job. It's got a pension." and then call me ten minutes later, to say "I've thought about it, and I want to add: unless this is really important to you, in which case, I totally support you."

This has been a really stressful year as she has bounced back from her battle with cancer enough to realize that the kiddo really needs more help with middle school math and science than I can give her. She has really thrown herself into making sure that the kiddo's teachers know her name and don't overlook her just because she has some challenges in the classroom. It's taking a LOT of time away from things like "relaxing" and "doing anything else."

What a terrible time to have a dream come knocking on the door.

Much to consider.

GO DO THE BAND THING

I know you, the rest you will figure out along the way.

Do not die wondering, Tomorrow is not 100% certain for any of us.

Take. The. Gig.

If your wife told you she's ok with it cause she knows it would make you super happy then go for it. You both have to agree on these kind of matters.

I'm kind of a mess and I always trust my wife's advices/opinions since she's the smartest, honest and kindest person I've known.

And she's HOT.

ChudFusk wrote: Sat Aug 24, 2024 2:54 pm

Lu Zwei wrote: Sat Aug 24, 2024 9:56 amThis has been one of the best weeks in the last 18 or so months of my life. Really needed this "win".

dontfeartheringo wrote: Sun Aug 25, 2024 11:21 pm So, of course a band I really like, a very PRF friendly band, would ask me to come tour with them in a month, for a month, with the option to be the full time drummer for this band who regularly crosses oceans and shit. A band who's last album KILLS.

What a terrible time to have a dream come knocking on the door.

Much to consider.

Patrick, do the band thing. We have this little precious time on this rock thing, we rarely get to live our dreams and aspirations even slightly to the fullest.

And maybe pick a city near me and we can grab a soft beverage or a real drink.

Lu Zwei wrote: Sat Aug 24, 2024 9:56 am Soooooooooooooooo, a couple of new shit that went down in the last couple of days:

- got the job offer from that company that I interviewed in last couple of weeks, sent my confirmation yesterday in the afternoon.
- told my now ex bass player and so called childhood "friend" that we will be continuing this band without him, he got super pissed and insulted the hell out of me in a vent rant, did so to my former band mates that moved away to another town that are still dear to my heart, and to some of my friends... whatever.
- found a new bass player almost the same day, seems like a super nice dude that has almost the same music taste as our drummer, and is a childhood friend of his from way back then.
- rented a practice space today that will be our permanent one for the band and maybe all of my projects in the future.

This has been one of the best weeks in the last 18 or so months of my life. Really needed this "win".

Le yay!

dontfeartheringo wrote: Sun Aug 25, 2024 11:21 pm Dave, I don't even know what to say. That's a fucking LOT to process all at once.


For the last year, I've had a very steady job. IT generalist stuff. State job, pension, benefits. I'm old enough to be looking down the road to retirement in just under ten years.

So, of course a band I really like, a very PRF friendly band, would ask me to come tour with them in a month, for a month, with the option to be the full time drummer for this band who regularly crosses oceans and shit. A band who's last album KILLS.

My wife is exactly the sort of person to say "You shouldn't quit your job. It's got a pension." and then call me ten minutes later, to say "I've thought about it, and I want to add: unless this is really important to you, in which case, I totally support you."

This has been a really stressful year as she has bounced back from her battle with cancer enough to realize that the kiddo really needs more help with middle school math and science than I can give her. She has really thrown herself into making sure that the kiddo's teachers know her name and don't overlook her just because she has some challenges in the classroom. It's taking a LOT of time away from things like "relaxing" and "doing anything else."

What a terrible time to have a dream come knocking on the door.

Much to consider.

Do it! Then tour Sydney - I owe you dinner and a road trip

dontfeartheringo wrote: Sun Aug 25, 2024 11:21 pm What a terrible time to have a dream come knocking on the door.

It sounds like a pretty great decision to have to make!

Find a way to take your family with you.

Dave N. wrote: Tue Aug 20, 2024 1:59 pm 1. It’s weird to learn you have a half-brother who was conceived the year your parents got married, and find out about it when you are 51 years old.
2. It’s weird to withhold that information from your mother because she holds your recently deceased father in high regard and would likely be devastated.
3. It’s weird for this information to start showing up on Ancestry and have your sister find out about it that way.
4. It’s weird when your sister goes and visits the half-brother without telling you, and it’s weird for her to find out that he is an amalgam of you, your father, and your uncle.
5. It’s weird to find out that your half-brother, who has never met yourself or your father, is also a bass player like yourself and your father.
6. It’s weird when your half-brother dies of a brain aneurysm at age 54, during a full moon in August, only two years and three days older than yourself.
7. It’s weird to grieve for someone you’ve never met.
8. It’s weird to think that I, too, could die of a brain aneurysm way too early.

My condolences.

If it’s any consolation, five years ago, my wife discovered that she was the product of an affair her mom had had. Nobody in the family knew—or, rather, anyone who could have known was dead. Her parents divorced when my wife was around ten, so nobody had any illusions about the greatness of her parents’ marriage, but still—nobody had known about this particular affair, which wasn’t with the man her mom eventually married.

She discovered four new half-siblings, from her biological father’s two marriages. She got in touch with them, and they’ve become quite close.

A couple years after this news broke, they learned that bio dad had fathered ANOTHER son. And this new son, in turn, learned that he had a daughter he didn’t know about, from a fling he’d had while on a long-term construction job in a different state.

(The new daughter, incidentally, is the only person who’d been able to talk to a parent about the DNA discovery. Her mom admits to nothing.)

But all of these people ended up becoming close. In July, we all attended a “reunion” at the newest half-brother’s lake house. (I put “reunion” in quotes, as everybody was meeting at least somebody for the first time.)

This could’ve destroyed a lot of families, but it didn’t. As a group, we looked like the United Nations; many of these people came from different walks of life and grew up along different parts. All sorts of different economic classes and races and careers. But the love that weekend was HUGE.

So I hope for the best, Dave. Go out and meet anyone you can who’s still left from this.