toomanyhelicopters wrote:kizenny : rushing like mad to get to work early, because you remember you have a very important meeting today, but don't remember what time it starts... getting in before 10am, only to find out the meeting isn't until 1pm. so you woulda had time to take a shower after all.

JB: Being yr boss.
JW: Sitting in the cube next to your stinky ass all day.

Glenkenny Glen Ross:

Finding a 1976 Pacer wagonwith no rust for cheap in the Penny Saver.

toomanyhelicopters wrote:kizenny : rushing like mad to get to work early, because you remember you have a very important meeting today, but don't remember what time it starts... getting in before 10am, only to find out the meeting isn't until 1pm. so you woulda had time to take a shower after all.

just better: having to go to a boring ass meeting in the middle of the day, on a Friday. 5 minutes in, the person holding the meeting's computer is hit by the sasser virius and shuts down. meeting cancelled!!!

just worse: taking a shower, going to work and have yr deodorant inexplicably fail on one side, causing a veritable flood of sweat to pour out from beneath yr left arm.


kenny: the phrase "birthday suit"

the Classical wrote:kenny: the phrase "birthday suit"

just better = eating frozen waffles that taste kind of cardboardy
just worse = when the word "party" is used as a verb


kenny:
- a lady you work with who winks about once every minute when you are in conversation with her, sometimes the winks occur at appropriate points in the conversation, at other times inappropriate, you think it is probably just a nervous tick but you don't come in contact with her often enough to know for sure, so you just wind up avoiding her as much as possible

stackmatic wrote:a lady you work with who winks about once every minute when you are in conversation with her, sometimes the winks occur at appropriate points in the conversation, at other times inappropriate, you think it is probably just a nervous tick but you don't come in contact with her often enough to know for sure, so you just wind up avoiding her as much as possible

Just better:

An enormous man who you've never noticed before is sitting in the cafeteria at work, falling asleep in his seat. He keeps jerking awake, looking at his watch, then falling asleep, over and over again. It's uncomfortable - you want to wake him up because everyone is staring - but of course it's also fascinating.

Just worse:

One of those people with a laugh that makes your stomach clench. However carefully you avoid them, you can still hear them cackling from across the room.


Kenny: a checkout clerk at Guitar Center who recognizes you and says, as he's entering your name into the system: "you're in the 'data,' right, man? You're in the 'base'?"

spoot wrote:Kenny: a checkout clerk at Guitar Center who recognizes you and says, as he's entering your name into the system: "you're in the 'data,' right, man? You're in the 'base'?"

jb: giving said guitar center clerk a different name and information with every return visit

jw: having a nu-metal-listening hilljack clerk at a local music store tell me "if i was gonna spend that much money, i'd buy a half-stack and a bunch of effects, dude!" when i was buying a fender twin some time ago.

the kenny:

stupid music store clerks who insist on playing bullshit cock-rock riffs through a piece of equipment before they let you play through it.

stupid music store clerks who insist on playing bullshit cock-rock riffs through a piece of equipment before they let you play through it.

j.b. turning the amp up all the way and beating on open strings until they leave you alone

j.w. the open-mouthed gaze with which they fix you as they play said licks, discomfitingly like that which a porn actress affects when she is trying to look eager for a male's attentions

kenny:

being one of julia roberts' old boyfriends besides lyle lovett

you're in the data, right?

you're in the base?

awesome

kenny:

being one of julia roberts' old boyfriends besides lyle lovett

JB : julia has a crush on you, but you don't give her the time of day
JW : being in a halfway-decent rock band

Kendal Gill:

buying a used guitar

toomanyhelicopters wrote:Kendal Gill:

buying a used guitar

jb: said used guitar being shaped like a machine gun

jw: catching a guitar string under a fingernail when you're playing



kenny this stage banter, as lisped by paul stanley: you know why they call wisconsin the dairy state? because the chicks have big tits!

placeholder wrote:
kenny this stage banter, as lisped by paul stanley: you know why they call wisconsin the dairy state? because the chicks have big tits!

just better: "you know why they call wisconsin the dairy state? cause they produce a lot of dairy there"

just worse: "Hello cleveland"

kenny: attempting anal sex on the first date