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ginandtacos.com wrote:This started out as a thread about big red flags and turned into a dumping ground for illogical nitpicking.

More than one light on an amp? A hole in one's BD head? You are just going out of your way to find things to hate. These are a very far cry from scarves tied to mic stands.

I agree; we're just getting obsessive-compulsive at this point.

"If the guitarist is using a strap that is wider than a necktie, and/or any color besides black, then his band will suck."

"The total number of toms in a drumkit shall never number greater than two (2), and the drummer shall not use any sticks that are those sticks that are the same thickness all the way through, you know, the kind with no tip, so it's like you're hitting the drum with the butt of the stick so I guess they're sticks with two butts."

And we can all find exceptions to just about everything mentioned; I'm sure there is a bassist who plays a skateboard-deck bass thru a Hartke who's in a band that slays face.

You can't always tell what a band's going to sound like just by seeing them. However...



If you see four fellows approaching the stage somewhat resembling the four douchecannons above, it is a pretty safe assumption that they will not be distilling the component parts of Captain Beefheart and early Fall with distinct Krautrock & NWOBHM sensibilities to evoke a prog/psych miasma reminiscent of Hawkwind and Rrröööaaarrr-era Voivod. But that could just be me.

I use these nitpicky things in a three-strikes system.

One strike (jean shorts) and I need to look a little more closely. Two strikes (bare feet), my guard goes up. Three strikes (Van Halen Ernie Ball guitar) and I fully expect suckage. Or, maybe, if you have three strikes, you're really going to have to melt/slay to overcome them.

It can be done... the first time I saw Deerhoof (knowing nothing about them), I counted three strikes (double kick pedal, drummer sitting on milk crate, bass w/more than four strings) and they absolutely killed.

Also... please don't call it a "drum rack." It is a rage cage.

Verbs and Nouns wrote:

mr.arrison wrote:Any Behringer equipment.

I have a behringer tuning pedal. It's a piece of shit, but it works. Usually.

My amp is a Behringer...100W of it...
Give me a break, though: I'm 16 and poor. I'll upgrade soon.

The bass player and drummer just quit the band.






AGAIN.

Mazec wrote:

BadComrade wrote:
Only girl in the band is the bass player (exception: Poster Children)

I appreciate that the chick bass player in otherwise male band is totally played out and not cool. But is it an absolute sign that the band will suck?

Are you saying Sonic Youth, the Talking Heads, the Pixies and White Zombie all sucked because of that? And sucked more than the Poster Children?

we have a female bass player who would kick any of yo' pussy asses any day of the week.

lemur68 wrote:You can't always tell what a band's going to sound like just by seeing them. However...

I really liked the Google Image Search method of assessing a band.

It's pretty accurate.

Biggest mistake I ever made in this regard was with My Business Failed in Three Weeks. I didn't know their name, just their getups. Had just suffered through an interminably boring bored indie-rock band, and everyone else on the bill looked metal. These guys were in cheap suits, and I immediately thought they were going to be doing some kind of emo thing of some kind.

No!

Well, sort of. But no.

I remember seeing the Dismemberment Plan for the first time in Green Bay lo so many years ago, and assuming that they'd be a crappy hardcore or metal band. My friend Emily and I nearly left Concert Cafe for food before their set because we were so convinced they were going to suck based upon their name alone. We didn't catch the "Groundhog Day" reference back then and we wound up staying for their set, which was awesome.

I try to not make assumptions about bands too much because I'm often mistaken, but I tend to think that they won't be worthwhile when they have a name that I really don't like. I'm very particular/picky about band names.

ubercat wrote:Glockenspiel.

Hey!

ginandtacos.com wrote:2. Banners. Bands playing in front of a large banner bearing their name and/or "logo" cannot possibly be good. This is science.

I know I've probably mentioned this fifty times on this forum, but when I saw King Diamond a few years back, he had a banner above the stage. It looked very much like a bedsheet with the King Diamond logo airbrushed on it.

He had props onstage too, like cardboard tombstones and something that was supposed to be a terrifying spider but looked like a hair weave.

This was a spectacular show.

When a guitarist has more than 2 or 3 guitars on the stage, and has his guitar-tech take each instrument to and from him.

tmidgett wrote:I have not found that hole/no hole is a good indicator re drumming prowess or lack thereof.

True, although N > 1 = CRAP where N is the number of bass drum head holes.

I will add to this thread two more rules of thumb:

- Mesh baseball caps worn by anyone not also eating sunflower seeds

- Four word band name (also known as the Four Word Emo Band formula, e.g From Wishes To Clover, Mesh Trucker Cap? Check!, etc.)

Dan